The Blood of Ember
by DementedOutcast
Summary: One arrogant genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist and one very hotheaded and temperamented agent of SHIELD, are thrown together and forced to work together. Watch Tony and Ember build a partnership and surpass all the others.
1. Chapter 1

Ch.1 File

**NAME**: EMBER CRUOR

**AGE**: 17

**D.O.B**: MARCH 12, 1996

**PARENTS**: NONE

**SIBLINGS**: NONE

**NATIONALIY**: AMERICAN

**HIEGHT**: 5'1

**WEIGHT**: 101 IBS

**ABILITY**: CONRTOL, CREATE AND TRANSFORM INTO FIRE AT WILL

The famous, playboy, genius, billionaire, philanthropist, sat in the office with Director Fury, along with me while the Director explained his presence in his office. "Let me get this straight, you, eye patch want me to babysit a 17 year old teenage girl?" He pointed, confused in my direction. Why am I even here? The tone he took annoyed me to which I _loved_ the scene.

"Mr. Stark, she has been an orphan for most of her life, has no family and no recollection of her past . . ." The Director began lightly, but there wasn't much to tell on me because there's nothing for me to _remember_. I sank into the chair with my arms crossed over my chest. I rolled my eyes. Can this possibly get any worse?

"Let me stop you there." Stark waved a hand, my folder in his hands and pushed it right back to him. He was generally confused and I wanted out of this entire situation. "Why should I have to take care of her? Why not give her to Stripes or Hawk-Boy?" He suggested, not bothering to give me a second look. I didn't care. He was just someone who would constantly get in my way. He would be a _**pain**_ to deal with.

"She'll be in your full custody as of today Mr. Stark." The Director didn't give him another chance to give his opinion. I wish he had so wouldn't be stuck an over egotistical playboy. I groaned, internally from my seat and shut my eyes. _Someone help me_. I thought.

"I don't like this." He muttered, exasperated under his breath. Fury just gave him a sly smirk. He stepped halfway out the door then turned his head half way over his shoulder getting a remark.

"I do . . ." He shut the door while the two of us sat there staring at each other thinking the same thing: Why? Then I walked out.

When this world has nothing left to offer and there's nowhere to run, it's a world based on a cycle of love and hate. It just seems like a game where life is to be played in a virtual world, but there's no virtual world only people. They keep running away in the dark which leads to more darkness and you can never escape and neither will the tiniest bit of light reach those people or _me_… people are used like puppets to get other people to do their dirty work, but it's more than that it's the fact that they let themselves feel like since they feel there's no one out there who can understand what they're going through. If people think they might be able to help those who need help, they're mistaken. A shadow that dulls the pain, resist at first then it alternates.

He came to me with a stupid look on his face, one filled with his arrogant attitude. I wanted to burn that ridiculous smile off his face so I wouldn't have to be reminded by an annoying playboy. I stared at him in the eyes and he smiled. "Well, looks like you're stuck with me."

No shit.

There are always people like him. He'll never have a heart to truly understand how I work. He seems heartless without a care in the world. There's a saying that goes along the line of there's- always- a -chance to- fix- it, though I can't speak from experience, but whether or not I want a chance to remember my memories I have to somehow get along with him. A change that makes everything change. I stand up and begin to walk off, again with his eyes burning a hole into my back, his deciphering mien that held all the secrets to his life thinking he might be able to control mine with all the knowledge he thinks he owns. Stark can't do anything to help the lost. Sometimes people don't even know why they're lost. They're beginning to wander around forever. What's worse than being lost is not knowing who you are or what your past is like. If Stark even tried to help regain them he would lose his precious time not being able to work on more weapons. To him, I'm just a lost cause that doesn't belong in his mansion. So why did he say I'm stuck with him?

He hopped into his Audi and stared at me as if wanted to start a conversation, but doesn't know how. I wanted to close my eyes wishing this entire thing was a terrible nightmare. ". . . What got you stuck on SHEILD's radar?" _Great_. He was speaking to me, again.

"You read my file, you tell me." I say harshly as he grins at my comment. I turn to look at for a second wondering why he grinning then I sunk lower in the front seat putting my head into my knees. What was wrong the Director and SHEILD?

AND I DO NOT NEED A FREAKING BABYSITTER!

"I like you." I don't know he was telling the truth or amused at the thought I with him or the fact that he actually has taken a liking to me. I push my head farther into my knees.

The little things we humans can do are to live a life without restrictions because restrictions are like a blockade, no place to get away from. That's just part of what my life feels like-is like. I have to get passed those first in order to proceed in life, but there are people who can never overcome those objects while they sit in a dark corner twiddling their thumbs and being thrown into the deepest, darkest, depths of hell. Those people **can't** be saved, most of the time I feel as if I'm the one being dragged down and sometimes I'm _not_.

What have I've got to lose when I've already lost everything? There is nothing to gain, unless it's something I want to have and I'll do anything to get it back. Stark reached the tower that's set in the middle of New York, an ugly building smacked right in the center where the Director is hoping for my new _life_ to begin. The two of us are complete strangers that are torn apart from different things, like me, who's fighting a war while Stark dealt with his one night stand bimbos and probably fixing new bots around the tower.

"You want a tour of the place?" Stark asked as he opened the front door. I ignore the question giving him an irritated glare.

"Do you have a room?" I asked slightly annoyed with all the questions he's been bombarding me with. Does he ever stop bothering people when they don't want him to speak with them anymore?

"You know, people would kill to see me, to see this place." There he goes bragging about himself. I don't understand why Fury stuck me with him of all people I know at the agency.

"Do you have a room or not?" I asked more heatedly with the intensity rising in my voice.

If a new beginning existed I wanted it to show me sign because his arrogance is one level, his ego is enough for me to want to burn him down to ashes, anymore and it might just happen. I keep searching for the answers to my memories, when I do have them it'll either be the death of me or a complete lie-my entire life as a lie. A lifeless soul wandering the earth for all eternity to find out my life is a lie. They'll both be the death of me. It makes things difficult to wake up every morning while facing the fears, the lies, the truth, it's a little thing called, _"LIFE_._"_ It's when you get enough strength to wake up every day and face those fears. It makes me feel truly alive when something like that can make me feel possibly _human_.

"There's food if you want it." I don't know what his problem was or why he kept talking to me. Last time I checked, he wanted to alone to work on his suit.

"I'll eat when I want." I shut the door in his face before he spoke another word to me. I still heard him mutter something outside that I didn't quite understand. I was already throwing my body on the bed.

"Touchy." I knew he was still standing there staring at the door then I finally heard his footsteps fall back down the steps and the second I heard him go down I grabbed a small grey ring and laptop from my bag, chucking it on the bed, quietly opened the door as I stepped half way down the stairs throwing the ring above their heads as it made a small latching noise clinging to the ceiling.

You can't always trust people the first time you meet them.

When he switches his emotions he seems fairly laid back. Stark's careless tone compelled him to stimulate through others problematic situations, but I especially hate his attitude. "How is she?" His PA asked. I head their entire conversation. Sometimes I like being a part of SHEILD.

"She hates me." Stark proclaimed incredulously. He was completely confused. "Who hates me? You don't hate me, Right? 'Cause then we would have a problem." His PA stared at him like he was losing part of his ego.

"Tony." She firmly called. He stopped then stared at her for a moment thinking to tease her for a moment.

"Yes, dear?" He joked. The edges of my mouth slowly rose. What was I doing? I narrowed my gaze at their sort of silent atmosphere.

"What are her grades?" She suddenly asked without giving a second thought about his alter ego. Hold on, what? How do they know about my school profile?

SHEILD.

"She excels in every subject." What did Fury tell him exactly before I entered the room? And sometimes I hate being a part of that agency.

"Record?"

"Other than excelling in every subject, high standards are above -the same me, I mean how does a 17 year old girl end up with SHEILD with the same intelligence as me? She's been in twenty-eight fights. They were all sent to the hospital." Stark proclaimed, perplexed that someone as smart as I am is as smart as he is. He can't believe it-he won't choose to believe it. "She's going to be a pain ass."

"She's just like you." The PA smiled when she saw the immediate shock hit his face.

"HEY!" Stark shouted in protest. "I'll have you know I'm nothing like her!" He made an "X" with his arms and slashed them out like an exit.

"Tony." She sternly stated.

"Help me… please… I need it." Stark pleaded betraying his own sophisticated voice, that's a first I've seen. I wonder how many people would kill to see him begging for help.

"You're a genius, Tony. Figure it out." I'm starting to like this person. She seems to understand how annoying he can be then again she's his PA who's always been around him so she's likely to have been used to it.

"Pepper, she's just become my liability. I can't take care of her." Stark declared shaking his hands around his frigid body. He really didn't know who to cope with this. "Look at me, I am **not** a babysitter."

Who would have guessed?

"Put your head to work." She left him to search for his own answers.

Stark stood in his kitchen confused on his thoughts and then quickly went to his workshop to figure out his enigma, he one person he cannot decode. I closed my laptop barely hearing what was going on or why he went down in his workshop. I didn't care. . .

"JARVIS, run me all the status on SHEILD and EMBER CRUOR. I don't care if you have to hack in to their main just do it."

"Yes sir."

Everyday a life is taken away from the families scattered across the globe. Death is a cycle filled on hate, depression and the people of New York. Those are the reason why people take their life or others just so they could feel the same pain they did. It's suffocating and it's sick, but no one cares. Here, people try to change. Sometimes it's never enough. It's just a waste of time. I wonder myself why this has to happen, but it's just the way life is. So we hold onto the things that barely make us human.

Secret agencies who have been uncovered have found ways to be a shadow or to have built an organization by the U.S. These are the people, the agents who put people out of their misery. SHEILD, one hidden organization is just like any other agency, but have their reasons, they all do and to live everyday with a kill they took and to push it aside and live for another day have earned more than the word HUMAN: **MOSNTERS**.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm one, my unknown memory- my life is monstrous, not knowing who I am. People I've sent to the hospital have either died or survived from the cruel actions that I've committed to them. I could never deal with the damage I caused. I've learned to live with it because I can't feel the way I did before, I ever could. Most of my life there's nothing that can stop this, so I made it a part of me. It never goes away. It'll be here forever. A war that never goes away, but to me I'm always at war.

I'm damaged.

I would really appreciate it if you reviewed. PLEASE.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch.2 ALONE

I stared at the necklace in my hand above my face watching it sway back and forth like a pendulum, like my life was ticking away every second every time I do this wishing it would tell me the answers. The thought of regaining my memory is wandering through my head then it ticks away every day until I can't find one. The question was: will I ever find one? It makes me feel empty to where there was nothing about me. I was there at the time when it happened, when I saw my life gets taken away by them, but somehow it turned out okay. I think. They were the ones that brought me in and you know what, those two were a pain in the ass too. Sometimes I wish this world I live was a major dream that I could wake up from, but no I'm stuck living it and how great is that?

Please, I'd rather drown.

The blood stone that I hold in my hand is said to posses healing powers to cure or heal people of negative surroundings. I do and don't believe in that and before I was ever introduced to Stark I was told by Fury that my necklace was a gift to me because he said "we found you," it was something along those lines. This stone was also to have said something about pure hearts, having the power, strength and courage as is also said to face the loneliness in life as well as making the right decisions. Was this the right possibility to have? I don't even know if I want to believe in that stone. I sigh knowing I won't get any answers from staring at it. It's just a stone with an immense mythical definition that I don't seem to understand.

I really don't care at the moment.

Sometimes I wonder why or even how I got this stone. I never asked. I just took a liking to it and it's been with me since, well, I was born. Then I think about him.

Does Stark actually want to help or is Fury ordering him to? Yeah right, Stark probably wants to show off his new suit or talk about his immense ego that never goes away, yeah he's definitely a playboy. He doesn't know what it's like to want to be something else. I wonder what this world has come to, regardless of its flows in society which does nothing. It's something to be played with by the government. This is not a game. People who do this will ruin their lives as it gets taken away before they even know it. Because of this people feel the failure and poison running in their veins, but who is really going to care about that? What I see is a world that does jack shit and my agency is just waiting to do something where we can stop it.

Stark stayed in his workshop with my file in his hands searching for the important details and found none. I only know this because I'm watching him on my laptop with the volume off. There was something off with him and couldn't put my finger on it. Oh well. "JARVIS, run me the status on her parents."

"Agent Adam Cruor and Agent Kim Cruor, both SHEILD agents, killed in action after one month they had their daughter." I assumed he was speaking to his intelligence system since no one else was in messy work shop with tools and mechanical scarps scattered across the tile floor.

Stark found his P.A. at the couch at her computer eating breakfast. He stared at her for a moment breaking down every component that belongs to her trying to rid of the unwanted information in his mind that is now a part of him. That's something that will never go away. Then he started stepping up the stairs as I quickly closed my laptop.

"There's breakfast if you want it." Stark popped his head through the door. Seriously, why is he trying and where is all of this coming from?

"I'll eat when I'm hungry." I repeated again, more fiercely this time. I glared right into his calm brown eyes.

"Hot- headed- American." Stark proclaimed his annoyance showing through his tone. The words that escape his mouth are full of trouble. His arrogant attitude makes my blood boil. Even if he didn't try I could see it from miles and miles away. I don't know anyone who could miss his ridiculous actions.

"Playboy." I countered, viciously. My body was already beginning to burn and it was about to be unleashed on him if he doesn't leave. "Quite wasting your precious time on me and go to your P.A." I headedly stated.

"You know what, I should." He declared, an odd gleam portraying on his features. "Why don't you go back to SHEILD? You're just a **DELIQUENT**!" Stark shouted taking a daring step towards me, his rage showing through his entire figure.

He forced those words out like poison that were sinking into him. "You're a playboy. You're just a **toy**." I growled through clenched teeth glaring daggers at him.

There was a moment of silence before we both spoke another word and it wasn't soon before long until one of us said a word. We glared at each other and yelled, "WHY THE HELL DID FURY PUT ME WITH YOU?" We were both agitated and angry. Whatever Fury was planning on doing with the two of it was going to go downhill from now.

I still wonder why Stark said he liked me.

"Tony, a word with you." His PA had walked into our argument on purpose to fix her boss, to control someone who clearly doesn't know the meaning of wanting to be alone. She dragged him out by his ear like a child.

I flipped the screen open.

"OW! OW! OW! You know I need that to hear." Stark pleaded for her to release her grip and never did.

Tony Stark was such a child.

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who seem normal, but work for an organization like SHEILD and playboy billionaires who have a bigger ego than world itself. Let me tell you something, this entire thing we're wrapped around in is not rainbows and butterflies its hell and its peace. I can't give you reason why it's those things, but that's just the way things go on and it comes back and makes people chase others around who can be an ally or a threat roaming the city. Sometimes I try harder than any other person, than any other organization because I have something the drives me.

To me and this organization, I'm shadow hunting my own shadow. I want to forget some of the things I've done, but I've come to learn to sort of live with them. Sometimes I wonder if it makes a different to try and to make things happen.

"What happen between you two?" His PA demanded sternly, tapping her foot on the floor waiting his answer.

"I don't know what to tell you, Pepper. We're talking fine for one second the next we're arguing." He raised his hands for movement while he explained what went on. Let me tell you another things about billionaires, they're stuck up jackasses.

"Tony." She called out with finality. Then he stopped his useless running mouth.

"You know I'm not good at first impressions." Since when was he ever good with first impressions? From what I know, he treats people like they're invisible, except for certain people. "You've been with me for ten. . ."

"Twelve years. . ." She corrected him. Why does his mood change so much when he's around her? I put aside my laptop. I've had enough of this.

"Twelve years and you're still here. _You_ don't hate me. She **hates** me. Why? She's not giving me a chance here." So what? Since when did he ever care about getting second chances? So why start now out of all the people?

"Maybe she's never had anyone to give her a chance." Pepper stated right as I walked out the front door, with him burning a hole in my back.

Over and over, this same situation has occurred. Every day stays the same when you only have one goal to search for and to have. There are many thoughts in my head that I try to unravel, like a mystery, except I try to erase them, but they keep coming back with an urge to be found and I just keep wasting all my time. Would I ever find them? Is that why the Director put me with him?

As much as I want to regain them I first have to survive with this, the assignments I'm given by my handler, which isn't my babysitter, well, maybe, he probably thinks so, look that's not the point, the point is I just have to survive an insane organization that I was forced to join.

UGH! EVERYTHING IS GOING TO SHIT!

My entire life has been an enigma something that can't be figured out. What are the truths and what are the lies? Where do I stand? I'm left with no parents. I'm a ghost trying to relive what I can't. It doesn't matter if it's a burden, I'll carry it until it's resolved and if I find out my life is full of lies someone is going to get **burned**. By burned I mean SHEILD.

I glare at the sky, the bright colors it makes, makes the world go round. I shut my eyes, lean against the branch in the tree I sit in and clam myself a bit. I'm only _**HUMAN**_ dealing with an inflection of pain, anger, every emotion known to man. That all disappeared from my mind when I heard _his_ voice call out to me.

"You up there, Sparks?" What did he call me and what was he doing with my name?

What was he even doing in the first place by following me?

"What do you want?" I asked gritting through my teeth then stared him dead in the eyes.

"Looking for you." Stark clung onto the branch as we talked swinging his legs back and forth. He really is a child. Yet, SHEILD has taken him in as part of a group.

"Why are you here?"

Most of the time I hide from the fear from never being able to find them and yeah I know it can get annoying, but someone or something has to know something. The question was: how long am I able to hold on? Sometimes I run from the weakest things that can kill you and whether or not you want to continue living, well, you better start by not getting yourself killed by little things because those little things can turn into something dangerous that can end us all.

My strength relies on my will and my weakness relies on pain and anger if someone got the best of me. That rarely happened and usually ends with their death. The frustration built within makes things difficult because I don't want or need to hurt anyone.

"I can help you." Stark stated calmly.

And he's still attempting to help. What happened to him after he was in that cave?

He made matters worse. The words that unintentionally leave his mouth cause him the greatest threats. I let a medium sized spark of fire fly from fingers. I didn't care if people saw what I did. Six people in SHEILD were already known from certain activities.

"DID YOU JUST BURN ME?" Stark yelled in shock, his eyes filled with disbelief. His hands roamed his body making sure he actually still there. It was kind of funny seeing his pain make me feel a little bit of pleasure. "DID YOU ACTAULLY JUST TRY TO BURN ME? WHO WOULD WANT TO BURN ME?" He looked back to me, incredulously. Did really think I wouldn't try and burn him?

I leapt from my position and land directly in front of him with a piercing gleam in my eyes. "What the hell is your problem?" Stark took a calm step towards me.

"You're my **problem**." I bitingly declared and watched him hit his back against the tree when I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt slamming him there. Now there was a crowd with their phones out. Great, just what I need.

"Sparks, you're making a mess!" He replied playfully. Does he think every bad situation he's in is funny?

"You **don't** understand me. Stop acting like you do." I viciously seethed through my teeth, letting around spark slowly circle around my finger.

He glared fiercely into my eyes making me remember the painful look he had on before. Stark slightly caught me off guard and switched our positions, holding my hands above my head with my back against the tree. "Then make **me** understand." He demanded. I stared into his determined eyes searching for any fault and found none, surprisingly.

I laughed darkly with a malicious grin eating away at my face, betraying my voice. "You're wrong if you think you can help me." A steeled mask came falling into place.

The crowd grew bigger as it encircled us around the tree, their phones still in their hands. How long does it normally take for something like this to get leaked to the media? Not long at all and this is exactly where that is going. Stark had immediately stopped, jerked my arm again, and forced me to get in the car.

Wonder what the media is going to put in.

The hours, the days, and the nights all grow longer with each passing second because I want to the end this, as I like to call it, "babysitting." Does it look like I need someone to babysit me, let alone a playboy? Whatever they had in stored for us it'll be living in hell for who knows how long.

I want to go back to my crazy-insane organization.

There are things we can't fix so that's why leaving them broken is better, but if there's someone who can fix what's broken, well then that's great. People say they're guilty as charged when they say death is theirs. I really don't care about that. To be honest I don't care for this world's death. It's just a saying and what the hell am I talking about? I don't know a damn thing about death because I don't care for it. It's better to know you're alive than dead.

At least that's what I think.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch.3 In the World

Another day, another second wasted while I stare at the necklace once again, but I couldn't find myself to concentrate about my past, if I even have one. The fight we had yesterday developed in my mind and I haven't found a way to erase it, the problem bore itself there and now it became a part of me and I hate it. I had no idea why it was still occurring in my mind, let alone him telling me he can help me. I don't understand any of this or why SHEILD stuck me with him. Maybe, since I don't know my parents and he didn't have a good relationship with his father that Fury possibly thought we would bond over something like. Please, that man thinks he rules all.

Then there's the media.

Fuck the media.

He can deal with it.

There was a knock at the door, again and Stark popped his head through the door with a plate of breakfast in one hand then took a spot on the bed. "Breakfast, Sparks?" What the hell was doing to my name?

"I forgot, you're here." I muttered, annoyed under my breath as he set the plate between us, like a divider. If he thought that was going to work, well, then there's something completely wrong with him.

"Correction, I live here. You're in need of a babysitter." So he admitted to calling himself a babysitter? Perfect. That is not what I need, what I need is for him to leave me alone and think.

SHEILD has a way of containing secrets about almost everyone and anything. It's them that have other people fighting their battles they can't and that's why I wonder why I'm here as well, am I supposed to be his partner or something? That's not going to work because one of us will end up dead. You see, we we're given choices and as you can see I never got my choice. I was forced here by three people and when I get my hands on those two I swear I'll give them more than hell.

But people who have friends in the organization tend to have obstacles in life that they won't be able to overcome, unless their limits are pushed to the brink of insanity, like mine, but on more clearer scale. Here, there are no normal people only people dressed in black suits to scare the shit out you and that's how everything works out for us by doing exactly that, except without getting caught, of course. Only idiots get caught. Probably like Stark.

If people could ever go back in time to reverse the things they've never wanted to experience, this place would be in total chaos as much as I like the idea. Seriously, though, but if there was somehow a way to fix it, it would be a _great_ help to some morons here in this city. Geez, what people do just to get what they want then you always have a downside, having earned the _right_ thing in life is something difficult to achieve because there are _lists_ that need to be finished first, and having earned the wrong is a failure to we humans. I will not apologize if I sound like some philosopher because it's not me. Stark is starting to rub off on me.

"Go away." I demanded glaring daggers at him while he lies sideways on the bed, his hand propped on the side of his forehead. If you asked me do I believe in God, I will say yes so someone can end this.

"All right, Flare, what's your game? How do you work?" Stark suddenly asked. I grew confused for a short second until his PA entered asking for him.

**THANK YOU GOD!**

"Mr. Stark, a word with you please?" His PA had called for him from the door. The tone in her voice was full of authority that holds power over emotional problems and more power over him. Though he's her boss he seems to like being bossed around by her.

This guy is too weird.

"Ms. Potts." Stark carried himself out to the door with food some of the food he had taken from plate. Out of all the times to be hungry you decide to be hungry now. Really?

"Director Fuery wants to speak with you." The pair quickly walked away from the door leaving me alone in _peace_.

Here we go again.

There is no such thing as peace or being left alone, let alone privacy and that's a price you have to pay for being stuck with this guy and SHEILD who have people watching you every second. I mean come on. I get enough of that while walking around the base. They know what we're made of, how our emotions get in the way, the lies hidden in the truth then becoming something we're not. We're like shadows, but yeah, that's how things go down. It's like a pulling the trigger trying to remember the last sentence.

While the two walked into his workshop I see Fury maliciously glare at Stark as he took a seat. "I don't know what to look at, the _eye_ or eye patch." Now, what are you planning, Fury?

"Mr. Stark. . ." The Director began. The utter patience in his voice sends Stark to more sarcastic jokes. It's been two days since you've been with her. . ." Here we go again he's going to say something about yesterday's escapade.

"Correction, since you forced her onto me. She's _your_ responsibility." He seethed out with much to his pleasure. I like this side of him. Where has it been and why do I get to see this now?

The last part was so wrong.

"Ember is **your** responsibility, now. Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff will be there shortly." Yes, now I can talk to them about this problem. They need to take me out, at least I hope they do or I swear I'll break his bow.

"Excuse me?" Stark, apparently didn't like the fact that having two SHEILD agents follow me around for the _day_ was a bad idea, in fact he seem enthralled.

"Good day, Mr. Stark." The screen went black. The Director left him in a confused state of mind, not bothering to processes the double meaning behind his words. I closed the screen.

"JARVIS, run the status on Ember Cruor at SHEILD . . ."

Those were the two agents that were sent to destroy me for my capabilities. The people I've put in danger, the ones I've hurt and what I've done for SHEILD and that's one of the reason why I'm kinda' stuck at SHEILD. I could be their greatest threat that has ever walked on earth and their base. The power I control can be used for destruction or protection because of the things that follow me. It's used as neither. It's a tool for murdering my enemies or anyone who stands in my way. For now, I use this power to simply put out the destruction of the world, though earth may be a planet with many pedestrians who can make it a better place or people who kill to satisfy their thirst for blood. They kill without a reason and both sadistically, mentally insane. Man, I sound like a philosopher, but I'm not I just use big words to make people think about what they really want.

Clint Barton: a, person I can sort of get alone with, but I prefer to be alone. He's an assassin working for the SHEILD. He met Phil Coulson for the first time on a bridge and made one crucial decision that mattered in his life. He's told me once, only on his behalf his life was a living hell. First: being orphaned at an early age with his brother Barney working at a circus for most of his life to earn money, killing his brother then later he was ready to commit suicide until he met Phil Coulson at that fateful incident, his best friend and our handler.

Now, she's another story and quite difficult to understand.

Natasha Romanoff: Russian assassin-spy who use to work for the Red Room and a survivor of something that resembled hell to her. Later, she joined with Hawkeye who gave her a different call and now works for SHEILD. She hasn't said much about her past. She won't reveal something dangerous from her past though it still haunts her. That's why she's the famous Black Widow.

Apparently, to them, if you have demons plaguing your mind you can't just sit there letting playing-toy with your mind. I wasn't told to fight it, I wasn't told about it at all and now I just live with it making sure it doesn't get the best, but sometimes the beast want to come out and play. There's another how to deal with life-how it goes on.

With these two assassins that brought me in, had dealt with trauma, they never let it conquer them. They became stronger while working together in the field, but their bond and partnership-as they like to call it- have grown stronger. Me, I prefer to work alone. It's just too much to handle because if they're hurt you risk a mission.

I left the room where I left my thoughts behind, making my way to the living room as I lay on the sofa burning a hole into the ceiling. "When Director Fury put you under Stark's liability I never imagined you to be glaring at a ceiling, Flare." Clint stood by the side of the couch with a sly grin on his face, his arms crossed over his chest. Someone was happy to see me. I'm gonna' kill his sarcasm one day.

"Oh, it's Hawk-Boy." Stark announced when he reached the top of the stairs with his PA following suit. She smiled at the new visitor. They're all familiar with each other, that's another comment from me.

"Oh, it's the playboy." Barton gritted through his teeth, a menacing –playful glare entering his eyes.

"Oh, it's the idiots." I sat up from the couch. They gave me a look of confusion from the sarcastic remark I gave. Well, you know what? They can suck it up like the adults they are, if they can even act like adults.

"She speaks." They said together and I ignored it and the fact that they both have smiles on their features.

"Men." Natasha and Pepper uttered. The lack of enthusiasm that came from them gave their associates a quizzical look. I lightly snickered at their comment. I have to agree.

"The Director is giving you permission to take a leave of absence since your new performance was casted on live television." Natasha pulled me away from the couch. The thought of having to go where they go means: assignments in hell.

I'd rather be stuck with them than a billionaire at the moment. I'd do anything to get away.

"Hell begins." I muttered half excited and half riled.

"Already grown attached, Tony." Barton taunted him, amused by the odd look in his eyes.

"Barton, another word and I'll have to dismantle you then put you back together." Natasha seethed. She was already displeased by Fury's orders and doesn't want to deal with a sarcastic partner who keeps her threats alive.

"Not attached." Stark started, a smirk crawling on his lips. The cold tone he spoke with took them a bit off guard. So what was I just missing? "Glad the hot-headed American is away from me."

"If you live long enough Stark to see me in action, I'll be your worst _nightmares_." I laughed darkly as the threat was ready to be unleashed one day and eat away at him. How is it that I get alone with these two violent people and not Stark?

Hold on, what did I just say? I want to get along with Stark? Someone help me out.

It doesn't matter what terms we leave on, what does matter is how we're going to approach them later on. For now, they are more important things to discuss because right now having a joyous Clint Barton and a pissed of Russian assassin do not mix will, but we make things work no matter how screwed up we are.

I could be a teacher. Yeah, no, sorry, I'd blow up the school before I even got into a lesson, let alone the doors.

Deep within our flesh there's always a story that begins with a start and an end. Everyone has a background story, most choose to express it, and others have it locked away deep inside them because they can't let it get in the way of their regulations, though they hardly listen to them. A story only tells you the little things about us. Some won't learn what emotions we trigger.

"Why are you two here?" I asked, not fond of Fury's choices, however these two were the ones giving me a second chance. And the ones who stuck me here, mostly Fury.

"No, we're asking the questions."Clint was frustrated from the way I've been acting. Since I've been known to the world, but the terrifying look he gives off with his tempered aura makes me freeze in place. "Getting out in the world is not your first priority. What about your memories?" Clint forced the words out of his mouth. He was playing that card. How low.

"Your SHEILD agents why do you care?" I heatedly asked as the poison began sinking in my question.

"We brought you in. Director Fury has other plans, he doesn't tell anyone unless it's crucial." He seethed his phrase again, but the way his voice takes a cold tone sends a light shiver down my back.

"The Director needs you to blow off some steam." Natasha cut in because Clint is doing such a marvelous job. I'd burn his ass if no one was around, like his partner, Natasha.

"Fury has a way to order people around when they don't want to be bothered." I sarcastically say then getting steady looks from the agents.

"We know you. . ." Clint had started to stay. I cut him off laughing darkly about his reckless choice of words.

"You only know what's in my file. You don't know what it's like to see the _real_ me." A malicious glint formed in my eyes while Clint narrowed his eyes at his suspicious. This is the real me, the one who likes to make people cry out in pain, but there's also a part of me that wants to stop. I just don't know how.

SHEILD may be a top secret organization that erases all the criminals from their data files and might cause purpose threats, but the agents who belong there have their work cut out for them if they don't want to babysat by a couple of assassins then I suggest you do exactly that. I don't need babysitter to watch my every move. I'm not weak I can handle myself own.

Now the only thing left for me to find out was: where the hell is our assignment located?


	4. Chapter 4

Ch.4 Cuba

It all began when I first made a hit on SHEILD's radar and on two assassin's hit list. I hit their radar in a bad way where I sort of blew up half of their organization because I had some idiots to deal with. I don't where they came from, but that night they had been setting up explosives God knows where. So that's how my night went. I was and still am stuck between enemies and partners- I still don't want one- It's easier and less works has to be done. I can be quite lazy sometimes, today is not one of them since I'm with them, the people who love to kill me with their sarcasm, yet it escalates to a degree where we might just harm each other. . .

_Eleven and half hours later_

Clint silently watched his partner Natasha throw the binoculars she had been staring out for three hours onto the ground and pushed herself to her feet while I was dragged along onto one of their missions in an attempt to blow away my steam, at least that's what they and the Director said.

I wouldn't really know.

"You need better posture while crouching for long periods of time." He stated when he noticed her start to wobble in my direction where I stare at the night sky and its bright stars from tree. I really like heights. I don't know what it is, but it feel as if I can stare at it for hours without a care in the world or whatever the world causes.

"Shut up Barton. I'm not built for long term stakeouts." Natasha ignored the pain shooting through her calves as Barton glared at her. They always fight while I'm here, no matter where I am or where they are they always find something to argue about.

Assassins.

He chuckled at her annoyed tone. The way she glared at him sent shivers through his spine, the way he ignored it must have been fine too because she was grinning like a child. Most of the time they go on assignments they bring me along for their pleasing pleasure of teasing me more than they can get, but more importantly we think on the same mental basis while _we_ _save_ each other. We at least try and save each other.

I don't know why I even asked. The answer was yes. "Do you two always bicker like children?" I asked seriously burning a hole into the night sky from my flames. Their vicious looks told me to be quiet and I can't when they cause me a headache.

Clint sighed for a short moment and softened his eyes. If that was a look of pity he would have been burned alive from my flames. "Why the hell did we get an assignment out in the middle of nowhere?" Natasha asked pacing beside him. I jump down from the tree standing right beside the archer.

"Cuba is hardly in the middle of anywhere." I said while Barton looks through his scope with a smirk on his face knowing I would take his line and get Natasha's complaints on me to handle. To me, I can't believe I'm saying this but, Clint is like my evil conscience. That's so not right. It works for me.

"Holding a stakeout in Cuban mountains, brutally waiting for a drug trafficking convoy that may or may not arrive by this area code is what I consider a shit mission." She uttered as she kept her pace around his area. She's becoming impatient. She constantly wants and needs to do her job. I just want this thing to end so I can back to the tower and sleep in that soft bed Stark has.

"You have no patience what so ever." I deadpanned. That topic wasn't going anywhere except down the drain to end a meaningless argument. Then I felt something change around Barton's aura.

"You know what I love about drugs?" Cling asked suddenly while Natasha glared at him and I could care less until I saw what he held in his hands. Is he trying to blow us all up? Then again, I'm also a ticking time bomb. "They make your looks very sweet like a lullaby and are highly flammable." Clint sarcastically said holding a pocket of barbed wire and chemical substances with a smirk. Though there's only one problem.

I'm also a fire hazard.

I CAN MAKE MYSELF INTO FLAMES!

I PRACTICALLY AM MADE OF FLAMES!

"You're going to blow us all up with your insane dramatics." Natasha shook her head. Of all things he could have chosen, he chose to blow up our location and there's. Hello, does he not remember what I can do?

Hey, earth to Clint freaking Barton!

"How much are you willing to bet?"Clint asked with a devilish grin. I'm so being ignored. Natasha and I were really close to strangling this man. "Flare?" He wiggled his brows to entertain me, but I showed no sign of response friendly manor.

He and Stark both, they don't know when to stop with the nicknames that piss me off and the frustration that I give off makes his smirk grow wide. Seriously, what are he and Stark doing to my name?

"What time is it?" Clint asked instead, looking over to Natasha.

"Eleven-thirty." She stated as he went back to watching their drug trafficking route. I was just wondering when he was planning to use _that_.

People always have a reason for what they do, like now and Clint's strange behavior with drugs. Whatever he really wants to really do with that it can't be good, besides what he's thinking and if it goes too far, well, I blame him. Life is not exactly perfect. This is an example of how screwed up our lives and keeps getting shittier. I meant it when I said this is how it is, so now every time I'm with them I check my vitals to make sure I'm still pumping blood. I can't die when I still haven't found them. Yes I've tried seeking more of life when I was taken in SHEILD-that's another reason why I'm getting "babysat-" because I don't know _who_ they are.

"We're not jumping off a three hundred foot cliff into the ocean, Barton." Natasha and I declared together. He was being unreasonable.

You know I'm still here?

Clint took a glance at his partner who had a slight pitch difference in her voice then to me and he smirked at me. I hate water. "By all means, come up with a better plan to destroy trucks filled with illegal transported drugs and a small army of dealers who know how to pack a punch." Clint said with a glint in his eyes and an inviting tone in his voice that was slightly higher. He was way too excited. . .

"I can take them out." I said filled in determination.

"Be my guest you American firecracker!" Clint said sarcastically and I stared at him for a long moment. This guy really liked to push me like Stark. He's only luck he's not Stark, otherwise I'd burn him.

"All right." I rose to my feet and started to climb down the mountain. He grabbed my arm and forced me to stay here with them.

"Sit down, Ember and take an easier route in your life, damn it." He muttered, shaking his head of unwanted thoughts. Did I have any limits? Well, he said my real name, for once. I was glad for that. Now I feel a little more _human_.

"You doubt that I could?" I said intensely with our sharp gazes entwined by the fierce looks we gave at each other.

Barton knew I could easily burn his hand and can never use his bow again, but the fact that I didn't was because I owe him something more than a debt to him, Like Natasha. Sometimes, I could be an open book. He was smiling internally.

"I don't doubt your ability that you could have burned the crap out of those idiots and still have the time to merrily burn us all down with your explosive hands to take out a cargo before they get away. Take the hint. I'm trying to tell you something." He said firmly and maliciously. I glared just as fierce until a creeping grin unwelcomed me. I understand. Geez, freaking cryptic man, give me some slack. I kinda' hate you leaving me with Stark.

The way he and Stark sound waver in my head, every fight, argument, sarcastic jokes, nicknames and assignments make my body go numb. Those two could be freaking brothers. I wouldn't even know it. The loss of sensation going unnoticed throughout my body and it feels like I was the one burning deep inside. Those two sound way too alike. The way they phrase their thoughts then putting the words into sentences and their ego just gets in the way. Only a fool would want to help me. Whose says I can't be the fool? I do things alone. My way is much simpler than forming a team to figure out problematic situations. Instead it's better to be alone. I don't need to worry about someone or save their life. What they do is based on their actions.

So call me cruel for all I care.

Everyone who's tried to help me either gets burned alive by my hands or gets in the way. Clint started to sway back and forth from the tension that's built around us all. Ten minutes had passed since the silence began and he felt worse. "Sorry." Clint sighed from the hovering silence that bothered his ego that left it to only inflate more.

"I don't care." I stated with a blank slate and he stared calmly at me. If he thought he could see right through me, he'd be dead wrong.

I stood up again wanting to walk away from him. He tripped me with his foot holding out an arm and caught my fall. "_Really_ need to learn you have emotions." He quietly whispers by my ear.

"Emotions make you a fool." I growled through gritted teeth and pushed him away.

"Emotions make you hollow." He countered fiercely.

"Quite caring for me." I said through tightly clenched teeth. "I don't need you or your advice. IT MAKES ME SICK!" I've had enough of him and his tactics. They won't get anywhere in my life.

Natasha had watched the scene play out before her very eyes. She's known Barton for a while and knows his stubbornness gets in the way of things that aren't suppose to happen, but now he just crossed the line. That's why she hasn't said anything.

"We can be friends." He stated with caution as I stared at him in disbelief. I rolled my eyes. More people who want to be my friends, how fun is that.

All my anger- frustration that dwelled within me fled out of me like a crashing wave against rigid rocks as I engulfed the trees in flames. Then Clint's body went into high alert when he saw flickers of cargo trucks pass by while Natasha glared at me giving our position away. "You blew up before I did." Is he joking? Clint scoffed throwing his arms up in the air. "We'll its ShowTime."

Now we're on a time limit. These assignments we usually go on helps me get rid of the negativity. "GO! GO! GO!" Clint shouted as he threw the binoculars around his neck and shoved Natasha at the edge of the cliff and left me there to finish off the job quicker. He left me to light it.

I see all of this happen through the corner of my eyes.

"Are you scared?" Clint asked and gripped her shoulders and staring right into her green eyes.

"No." She said firmly. He knew she's telling the truth.

"Are you scared to die?" He gripped her shoulders tighter as the seconds to get closer to the end.

"No." She said equally into his intense eyes that held fear over losing her or something more.

"To hell with that . . . times up." Barton shouted as he shoved her first, the adrenaline rushing through her and his body while the explosions of my flames finished their job along with the chemical substances.

"I HATE FALLING!" I yelled when I jumped from the cliff and watching the agents below me.

"YOU'RE A NATURAL, FLARE!" Barton shouted with a grin on his features as we rapidly approached the sea below.

"YOU CANNOT BE A NATURAL AT FALLING!" Natasha piped in, shouting in disbelief just as we hit the ocean water and into powerful currents.

The struggle to have motion in my body hurts because of the water drowning me in the currents that are strong enough to push me upward and I breathe the fresh salty air.

"CLINT!" Natasha shouted as the worrying in her tone began to play out. "DAMN IT! ANSWER ME!" She kept twisting her body left and right in the water hoping to find a glimpse of him. This just pissed her off more and this was his brilliant plan.

"It's been awhile since you've called me that." A voice in awe said behind her. His soft tone that he took made her whip around and stared at him dead in the eyes.

"What the hell is wrong with you, you bastard?" Natasha smacked his chest, the water splashing on his face as he smiled at her genuinely. That's a first time I've seen Natasha really care about Clint.

"Next time I go somewhere out in the middle of the country and jumping off a cliff I'm going to kill you, Clint Barton." His smile turned into a smirk as I threatened him, furiously as my anger rose to a certain level with his plans.

"You're insane." Natasha and I gritted with vicious threats looming around the thick air.

"We're all insane, Flare." He whispered into thin air which sent a small chill down in my back.

STOP WITH THE FUCKING NICKNAMES!


	5. Chapter 5

Ch.5 A Night

Twenty fours had passed since Cuba, now the three of us sat in Coulson's office dripping wet as he gave us a calculated look wondering what the hell went on while we were there. Natasha glared at her partner as I just glared at our handler with a blank look. This is a night where no one is going to be left alone, we're all going to be kept awake by the things that do or don't want us here. The silence needs to be broken, otherwise something is going to happen and it won't happen to me.

Then _he_ broke it.

"Do I even want to know why you're all drenched and smell like bad ocean water?" Coulson asked without a doubt in his mind and shook his head incredulously. Then he gave a sort of hard glace at Barton and Natasha. "You two," He pointed to the two agents that are under his supervision. He gave them a stern look that held "rank" over "power." "I will deal with you later and you," He spoke in full authority as he pointed towards the door. "Go home, agent Hill will drive you." Oh great, when he mentioned Hill's name I knew I would be in a shit load of silence.

Yet I like being alone.

I clenched my arm to ease the pain shooting in my bone, red seeping through my jacket. Crap. I don't know how the injury got there, it must have been from when I jumped and one of the shards came hurling itself at me while I was leaping over the cliff. Me and water do not mix will and look where it got me. I know I'll pass out from blood, but it won't happen now because I have to force myself to stay awake. I can't let Hill know or she'll definitely kick my ass. I am going to get Clint Barton one day, that day he'll never see me coning.

One nightmare at a time.

It makes me wonder why I push people away from me, maybe, since I've always been on my own. I've never really give people a chance. I've always done things alone, but then that fateful day had to come with those idiots trying to blow up their while I tried doing them a favor and still I got caught. Did I mention people who got caught were idiots? Well, sorry to break it to you, but I'm not an idiot. I can see Stark or Barton get caught because they fit something as stupid as that. Natasha and I know how to be undercover when it comes to things like that. Sometimes it kinda' hurt since she never wants to leave her partner behind. I don't know the reason. They do and however they work together-I don't know since they argue like Stark and I- they're partners who will probably do anything for them as long as they stay alive.

Seeing those two work together in the field made me rethink my life just a little and actually staying or living the tower with the billionaire. So the question was to me: why do I let these people stay with me when I like working alone? Then I broke away from the thoughts seeing agent Hill wait inside her black associated truck.

Another hell.

"How was agent Barton?" Hill asked keeping her eyes focused on the road ahead.

"The same as always, fucking –egotistical- bastard." I deadpanned through clenched fists taking my mind off the pain in my left arm by bringing more pain into my clenched fists. He reminds me so much of Stark and I only took that assignment to see if I could actually get away from his personality, entirely.

"Your memories?" Hill was quite talkative today. Whatever the Director or Coulson did to her today was not the smartest. She always did like being the quiet one. I sort of enjoyed talking with her.

"Still the same." I whispered feeling the effects of earlier take a toll on my body. I began to see black spots appear in random directions. I choose to ignore it. The tower was all I could think about. I don't even know if I can make it through the door, well, if I can't someone will notice me. Probably until the next day where they see me lying on his door step with a pool of blood underneath me, not the brightest picture to see in the morning.

The last stop came around the corner as we reached the big, ugly building of New York, Stark Tower. I could care less about it and _his_ personalities while he switched in between. It's just how he is, an egotistical, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist who always gets what he wants. Selfish bastard. I need to get in, fast.

"If I find one ounce of blood in my car, Ember I will choke you with your own necklace." Hill heatedly stated, looking directly at my bloody arm. So she did notice. How could she not. They don't call her the Calvary for nothing.

"Nothing I can't handle."I muttered then waved goodbye, emotionlessly.

I need to get in.

When this all began I was five, an orphaned until the age of fifteen then for the next two years I went on field operative missions with the two deadliest assassins then two months later I'm assigned another babysitter, Tony Stark. As if one isn't bad enough, two is not on my agenda. Hello, I have better things to do than just get the shit beat out of me or to have babysitters-as I like to call them- they can suck an apple for a I care, I only care about the people who are responsible for taking away my memories.

SHEILD tries to separates people in ways they can't imagine, on the other hand they can bring people together that can make earth a better place for us. Is really that safe of a place? I made a deal with this super, secretive organization: in order to _restore_ my memories I have to follow their commands and get little information on who can be involved. How long will that last? Is it worth it? The answer is simple, yes, it's better to have my memories restored than to live a life as a ghost even if I am a ghost walking the earth in search for something I might never get. Is it a little too much to ask for? I want them for one reason-yes I know it can annoying-so I don't fell empty inside.

My life is also lived as a weapon of destruction, a weapon used to end someone's life, to cause others pain without a second thought on how they feel because everyone will suffer the same pain. _His_ conscience is making another debut. There are no such things as heroes, it's not a role, or a conviction because we all have one thing in common: _to find out whom we really are. _That's exactly what it is, at least through my eyes. If you don't care, well I then I don't give two shits about you.

That's how I've always been, since I was orphaned.

There's nothing worse than not knowing who you are then getting lost at the same time. My life is just a repeat of yesterday- it's only a repeat for these assignment, despite what happened in Cuba. There's nothing more I want other than my memories, until then I'll live to get what I want even if it might not be there. It better be there or else I'll burn this whole world down.

Currently, the time is seven-thirty when I walked into his tower. The lack of sleep that I ignored from earlier has finally decided to return as I feel the need to pass out on the couch with an injured, bleeding arm. I lightly feel my blood trickle its way down to my hand dripping off the tips of my fingers then onto the floor, letting the pain sink away into something comfortable like sleep pushing away every thought as death and punishment left me.

I could barely hear what was going on.

"Huh?" Stark stopped at the top of the stairs. A look of confusion dwelled on him when he saw I was back lying on his expensive white couch. He stared at the blood that grew bigger by the minute. "You're a real problem, Sparks."

When am I not?

His PA, Ms. Potts, had entered the living room when she noticed Stark standing at the top of the stairs staring at me and the blood on the floor. "You know what I love about fire? They can burn just about anything, but she's met her end. . . I don't think I can help her." He speaks the truth, for once. Stark stared at her in the eyes, his voice betrayed the character he truly is. His eyes held sorrow, something I hate.

It made me feel weak.

"Tony, when you play with fire you get burned." Pepper gave her boss a sincere look because of the tone he rarely uses. It was a slight shock to me. It seemed like he was caring just a little about presence.

When Stark begins to feel sorry for people, then again I can't help, but think he's pretending and the odd are in no one's favor. If even for a second he thought I couldn't keep myself in control, even if a sarcastic remark he says or if he gives me _that_ look, I'll burn him alive in his suits.

Does he not know I can hear him? I guess it doesn't matter. He thinks I'm asleep.

"The idiots hurt." He muttered in annoyance, a look of worry was displayed. "Pepper, can you fix her up?"

"Is that all, Mr. Stark?" She smiled softly as he did the same to not show his weak stature.

"That will be all." He said calmly. His eyes stared back into hers then quickly at me as he sat down on the couch across from her and crossed his hands under his chin and focused on my fatigued body filled with the worst-healthiest situations.

What did you do to get on SHEILD's radar? Why exactly are you here? What have you gone through? You and SHEILD aren't making any sense. Why can't you trust me? Who are you? I can practically feel his thoughts rush into me.

Do you know how gross that is and sounds?

Pepper had watched her boss the entire time she patched my arm up. Stark bore his eyes on me, the tired figure on his couch and they both bore the same look of questions and determination to get them out of me.

I could feel their what- the- hell- happened -to- you look.

I want someone to end this pain, the madness, the monster in me, someone please control it because someone might just get hurt. A nightmare just began. It compels me to find out who I really am with a sadistic twist in me.

I've made up my mind to fight for one sole purpose. When you're left in the dark, there's nothing to save you, except for your will to move on. There's no light to save you, only you, and the one thing you can't escape. We have to find it out all on our own. All the lies and the truth are ridiculous because we can never truly understand the way the human _life_ _works_. If you really ask me, it's all utter bullshit.

Strong pain shot up in my arm as I was beginning to see bright lights appear in my vision then _they_ came into my sight. "What the hell have you've been through?" Stark gritted through his teeth and showed no sign of backing off.

"You read my file you tell me?" I demanded. A fierce glint sparked in our eyes of the vicious acts that are about to be displayed. I also said the same line, again, but he only did read what SHEILD puts in the files so he doesn't know the half of it.

I would say sorry. That would mean I didn't mean it.

"There are things that are misplaced in your life."

No shit.

It doesn't take a genius like him to figure that out.

"You know what I see?" Stark growled glaring at me as his eyes hardened with power.

I wish he could stop talking to me so I can go back and sleep and maybe dream about a peaceful day.

"I take it you're going to tell me?" I sarcastically whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a human. Quite pushing people away and let me help you!" Stark barked maliciously while his eyes focused on me leaving no room for his assistant to agree. I instantly let a mask fall to where he wouldn't see a damn thing about me. This guy doesn't know when to leave people alone and when he doesn't get what he wants he tends to go straight to the point on a low level.

"All I see is a playboy who only gets what he wants then leaves them the next day. You're just a _toy_, a person that runs on _batteries_, Tony." My eyes instantly harden, giving him a venomous glint seething those words out through clenched teeth.

This is the madness in me and the madness from my conscience that Barton has and is. All it takes is one spark to ignite something in me and the person who will be consumed in a rage of flames. So this is how well are relationship- its how SHEILD, Barton and Natasha say-is with each other.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch.6 SHIELD

This is what I imagine when I get an assignment the next day after I finished one from yesterday: One night passes away in a blink of an eye then another arrives where the sun is burning on several people of New York, Manhattan and then there's SHEILD where Stark and I were walking confidently down the halls of SHIELD head quarters as he did so all the agents immediately stalked off somewhere else which left a stupid grin on his face. This is also how I exactly imagined Stark, the man who thinks he owns the entire world, well let me tell you something interesting he's quite shocking, but I don't think he'd find anything shocking if you know I what I mean. He already own, like everything. What more can he get?

"Hey, eye patch, you in here?" Stark called once, he opened the door to the office his own accord.

This guy seriously pisses me off.

"Mr. Stark, always a pleasure to see you." Director Fury turned his chair around to face us and folded his hands underneath his chin with a deep look in his eye, such a sarcastic man. "What are you two doing on my base?" He eyed us, warily.

"She," He pointed directly at me, like I was the one who wanted to be there in the first place. Yes, I would actually like to be here and try to blow off never ending steam I get from him. He looked at Fury and gave him a serious answer because I know we both don't want to be near each other. I swear if we got any closer than we are right new one of us would choke the other. "Is going back to you!" He pointed, once again, a bit fiercer.

"Ember belongs to you now." The Director steadily replied. I steeled a hard gleam in my eyes. This guy was pushing my buttons.

"I don't belong to anyone." I darkly said, a hint of anger in my voice flashed out. Then Stark looked at me.

"She's a sassy seventeen year old bitch." Stark announced as a grin spread across his face. How creative. And this guy is a genius-billionaire?

"Director Fury, Coulson needs you." Clint opened the door to the office. He smiled at me when he saw the look of anger flash in my eyes since I was stuck with. And it's fault that I am. I went to walk out of the office when he put up his arm against the door frame. "You get dropped off on our base and you don't even say 'hello?' to your friend." He wrapped his arms around his chest as his blue eyes bore into my brown ones.

"You have a nice change in your ego." I countered forcefully, glaring at his steady state. "But we are not friends." There was no room left to argue. He's got a lot of nerve to show his face to me after what happened in yesterday's escapee.

"I think we can all agree on that Tony Stark has a bigger ego than both of us combined." Clint shrugged his shoulders, a smirk appearing on his face again. No, his ego just grew, slightly. Was he doing this on purpose?

"You are not on my agenda, archer-boy." Stark growled heatedly and bore his dangerous gaze into the both of us. Since when could he become like that?

Oh, well.

Not problem.

Now an argument will be taken place.

"The famous Tony Stark has an agenda?" Clint said, hysterically, a dubious look strongly entered him while calmed himself. How did I ever get stuck with them-this entire SHIELD thing?

"Director Fury, agent Hill is asking for you." Natasha Romanoff entered his office while the hard tension hardly left the room then the laughter of Barton quickly died down and looked at the three of us that were in and out of an argument. Why is everyone just barging in here like there is a major thing going? Well, anything, here at SHIELD is a major thing. "What the hell is going on?"

Natasha was right.

What the hell was going? Why was he being asked for by two different people?

Fury pinched the bride of his nose and silently shook his head in utter defeat to only have the complaints of everyone in his office, once again. He was about to respond to everyone that was causing him a bigger headache when Hill and Coulson both slammed his door open in perfect harmony yelling, "DIRECTOR FURY!"

COME ON!

SERIOUSLY!

Once again, he shook his head in disbelief. He exasperatedly sighed then said, "All of you," He firmly announced eyeing each of them a glare of pure annoyance. "Out." I was about to walk away when he called _us_ back. Great, now what? "You two, _stay_." He demanded pointing viciously, while Stark has been gazing into his eye patch. "What am I going to do with you two?"

"You tell us." We said together. A smirk appeared on one of the deadliest man alive especially if he's the one in charge.

Now we're in synch.

What am I coming to?

"You two are going to _bond_ with each other." Ha, bond? Was that joke? It better be a joke until he tossed us a file that belonged to a man named, Carlos Rojas. "You two will head to Columbia. Your flight leaves in three hours and Mr. Stark, if you use your suit I will dismantle you and your suit."

Another assignment, which I don't mind, but with him, is Fury serious about this? Anything with that man is serious. I wish he could stick him with someone else.

"No." Stark simply refused, putting his hands in his pockets. "I'm not going anywhere with her." At least we agree on that.

Fury gave me a look which meant for me to leave and I gladly approved and most of the times I consider my existence a soul wandering the ends of the earth.

The depths people got through are pointless because half the time I feel like I don't belong here, especially _them_. It amazes me how people carelessly throw their lives away from the reckless things they've done. First it's a gun to your head. Second, you're using it as a weapon the next I'm on an enemy's radar fighting on both sides to wash away the unwanted memories with new murders no matter how crazy it sounds. My life can't possibly get any more worse than it already is, right? It's the truth. Just what exactly is my truth? Where do I belong?

Here, I am in SHIELD's base walking around to satisfy my thoughts until Barton appeared in front of me with a stupid grin. You really can't get any peace here. "What's my favorite hot headed girl doing here?" He pinched my cheeks in a childish manor for an adult.

I AM NOT A CHILD!

DO NOT TREAT ME LIKE ONE!

BARTON!

"Let go." I say, steadily while he kept his grin plastered on his face the next I knew, Natasha stood right by his side.

These two are inseparable.

"What's going on?" Natasha asked simply looking directly at the two of us. "Why is Stark here with you?" She seethed through her teeth. The way she says "Stark" is filled in poison.

FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO HATES HIM JUST AS MUCH AS I DO!

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

NATASHA!

What the hell is wrong with me? A lot of things, I just can't explain them.

"Bait." I uttered in annoyance.

"Your arm." Clint said as his voice took a different tone, one filled of concern. This made him look weak. He's not that weak, only when he gets like this.

I didn't actually think he would notice that.

"It'll heal." I countered fiercely and the loudness in my voice sent other agents in our direction, either for the pleasure or to kill time. What is wrong with these people? Do they really want me to spark a fight?

"We'll, if it isn't spangles." Clint and Stark announced together as they watched him approach _our_ group that began to form from the sidelines. They really could be brothers.

Clint stared at Stark, my "babysitter," Natasha let out a sigh she'd been holding in from the last time I saw her then there's another man: Built; muscles. "Who is she?" The man pointed at me, confused about why a teenage girl is on SHIELD's base.

I guess I don't know everyone in this agency.

"Ember Cruor." Barton answered excitedly as he jerked me to his side facing the man in front of me and he raised a brow to symbolize more confusion. He really thinks I'm a child. Well, I can't do anything about that, I am only seventeen.

"She's a pain in my ass Stark declared in a vehement tone, but held it with content and firmness.

"Steve Rogers." He finally says after their _little_ disagreement while Rogers still held the look of confusion on his face because _he's_ with me.

I was about to back away from this irritating group when Stark put both his hands on my shoulders, turning me around away from them and stalked off down the halls of SHIELD, where the lies, the truth, and the hell we go through just to face more when come back.

"Come on we have a Spanish man to kill." He excitedly says as he keeps pushing me away, farther and farther away. I'd rather be with the group.

I wonder why I really don't get along with Stark. Maybe it's because he owns a lot of interesting things or the fact he cares more about himself than others.

"You actually want to work with me?" I stated a bit shocked at his response. He kept walking and turned around to give me another answer, he just kept his eyes trained in front of him.

"No, I want to help you." He whispered softly which slightly tore me apart from the inside out. I don't know why, but it hurts to have some playboy mess with my head.

Why did I let him do that? And why did I feel like that?

* * *

I want to thank the people who are reading this and reviewing. Means a lot.

Just to get one thing straight, Tony and Ember are not getting together.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch.7 COLUMBIA

It was nearly eight o'clock when we finally arrived in Columbia waiting to take out Carlos Rojas. It was almost show time, being that Stark _has_ my back while I scanned the busy halls. My blood was finally pumping with adrenaline because I can somewhat freely work in this area of expertise. Yeah, no, not necessarily-I have to this one. That's all I can say. I've got this one, I think. I can't believe the Director is doing this-doing this to me. I don't care what he has to say, but to be on an assignment with him is going to be hell and I can't stress that out enough.

"Looking good, Flare." What was he trying to do? He's sounding like a freaking pedophile.

"Stop touching your ear and make sure you're doing your job." I said firmly as I entered the ball room.

Stark does not know how to handle these types of situations, yet Fury is making him do this and on top that he wants to be here, on this mission. I wonder why.

"I still don't understand why you hate me." I can feel him burn a hole in my back as he watches me walk in.

There had been a few brief moments of silence at the end of his communicator. He squeezed his eyes to visibly see me giving him the finger. "That was rude, Flare."

What happened to Sparks?

Why do I even care?

Seriously, what are with the nicknames?

"Don't call me 'Flare'." I growled under my breath. I turned away from the window in search of our target. "Do you see him?" I asked under my breath, warily making sure no one knows what we're doing as I walk into the depths of the crowd.

Stark glanced around the room through his binoculars trying to find the brown haired, mafia leader that has been on SHIELD's radar the wrong way, just like I was, except I'm not in a gang; though I could fit in one quite easily. Recently, the man had been messing with several of SHIELD's operation and apparently they don't care what the mafia does as long as they keep their Shitty murders to a minimum, but Carlos mostly did business, however he began to interfere with terrorist attacks and gave that information away.

"Look to your right." He stated quietly. Now he's getting the hang of things, if only he was like this all the time where people can actually endure his ego.

I watched silently, staring at our target, but something was off about this man: he held the handshake longer than needed, wide smile, and his wife was not happy, yet SHEILD didn't bother to mention _this_.

Idiots.

Either that or they just didn't know it and SHIELD would be stupid if they did exactly that. You know, they did. I don't know how, all I know is they did.

"Change of plans." I muttered, annoyed into the communicator as I turned away from my path towards the target. Stark narrowed his eyes and watched me rapidly leave the room.

I'm surprised no one has even caught who he is. Are these people freaking blind or they just don't care? I'm hoping for the latter.

"Sparks, what are you doing?" He asked in slight confusion. Now he says Sparks. Choose one, please. Don't ask why I'm pleading 'cause I don't even know why.

"Get your playboy ass down here." I growled not taking any more of this- of another shit mission. Every second here with _him_ is a waste of my time.

Why do I bother to stay here? I growled, annoyed under my breath.

"Why?" Stark asked slowly.

"Targets gay." I muttered as stared at him in his white suit, his pants rolled above his ankles and dressy flat shoes.

What the hell was Fury thinking? And he was mafia lord? If you ask I could see him running a field of flowers as cheesy as that is. It's the truth, but I can also that happening with his men behind him with guns and grenades.

There was eight seconds of silence when shut his mouth. He instantly paled, knowing what is to come. "Listen here, I like the ladies."

You think I don't know that? You're with one like every day.

"Are your acting skills not up to your playboy ego?" I asked with a slight smirk.

"I don't have to do it, ya' know? We can just wait him out and corner him. . ." Stark said steadily in confusion as he tried to grasp his own phrase before he said anything else that he won't want to do.

I got it, he's scared.

Now that's funny.

"Ass in party now." I hissed, quietly in the com link.

"You know, you're the real pain in **my** ass." He muttered and pushed himself off the dirt ground and wiped the dirt off his suit. "You're not going to stay?" Stark asked as he quickly exited the building from across the street.

"You're a shitty man and even a shittier gay man and if I was in the room and you shot me with one of your heated stares on my back there's no way in hell they'll believe you'll swing their way." I say with certainty.

Stark sputtered in shock.

"I do _not_ give you heated looks!" He clarified in denial and could practically see my un-amused look.

Sounding more and more like a pedophile.

"I can feel your stares on my back from seventy yards away." I said blankly. Stark fluttered in his step when I heard him groan.

"I don't stare at your back." He grumbled defensively.

"You're a horrible liar." I scoffed.

I'm kinda' actually enjoying this, I guess this wasn't so bad.

There's a saying somewhere along the lines-and people at SHIELD say- the people are soldiers, but the problem with that is we can control what we do, not the others. I don't agree with it, what I agree with is being on the front like a soldier, but we're not soldiers. Now I sound confusing so I'm gonna' stop there.

"I'm not lying. I don't stare at your back. I stare into your eyes. You have _killer_ eyes." Stark announced with a smirk and knew the double meaning behind his words.

Can he get any further into being a playboy?

"Many pitiful men have perished because of my eyes." I say cautiously. He kept his smirk.

"I know that's why you look fired up." He said with a delirious gleam. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I hate his filthy jokes, more importantly, why am I here, again with _him_?

Why am I still stuck with him? I switch moods too much. It's like a switch that turns on and off, I just can't control it when I'm around him.

"Now you need to shut up and pretend you like men over women." I say continuing to walk out of the building.

"Maybe I do like men over women." He said mysteriously as I slightly laughed.

Stark sounds sick and maybe he can pull this off . . . I hope.

"And maybe I'm a transvestite tiger who hates spending time with an American playboy." I say sarcastically as he grinned. I can't believe I just said that.

"The longer you're with me the more biting your retorts get. Is that your way of showing to care?" Stark questioned as he walked into the crowded party room and scanned for our target that I basically ditched.

He really does want to figure me out; he really does seem to care. I don't even know what to do anymore. I feel as if everything is turning upside down, like I'm _**not**_ in control and like being in _**control**_.

"I don't _want_ you to care." I stated firmly.

I don't know what to think anymore.

GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!

"I can hope." Stark replied dubiously.

"There's a difference between being hopeful and being a downright egotistical bastard." I say dryly. He was about to respond when he saw the target.

"Target in sight." He whispered as he circled the room and headed towards the bar and ordered one drink then locked eyes with Rojas.

"Does he look interested yet?" I asked staring at the exit ten meters ahead of me.

"Definitely interested." Stark raised his glass to Rojas who leaning against the wall across from him. He gave a small smirk like he did to all his conquests.

I'm hoping he won't take a man to bed.

I don't even want to imagine that.

I think I scarred my mind with that thought.

"How are you managing to keep his attention?" I asked slowly.

"I'm pretending he's someone else." Stark calmly answered, a hint of a dark tone could be detected.

"Carlos Rojas." Our target extended his hand out to him and hesitantly accepted.

"Travis Walker." He declared holding onto the shake longer than necessary.

Where the hell did he come up with that name?

This idiot is gonna' get us killed!

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Walker." Rojas said staring interested into his eyes.

"Call me Walker." Stark says and returned his look with a light grin.

"Then call me Carlos." The man had manners unlike the ones I've come across with Barton and Natasha.

I wonder what they're doing.

"Why can't all my targets be gay?" I muttered darkly as Stark half coughed into his drink.

"Are you all right, Walker?" Rojas asked in genuine concern.

Oh, please like he actually gives a shit.

Stark had nodded and quickly regained his breathing. He might know that I'll be the death of him one day. "Fine, tell me how you're stuck in a dull place on a fine night as this one?" Stark began leaning into Rojas's personal space and he easily turned slightly red.

"I have a large stake in business deal that's going to happen tonight at ten after this dies down and it's not going to take much to kill." Rojas said in an unimpressed tone as he glanced around the room.

_**RIP**_!

"Fucking piece of shit." I growled in the communicator when my shirt snagged the hinges of the door. I saw stark smile. Rojas was watching too close.

"Did I say something funny?" Rojas asked raising an eyebrow as Stark lightly laughed to cover his slip up.

"Just thinking about how bored I was until a second ago." Stark flashed him his famous playboy grin which turned our target a bit flustered.

"I agree this has been an interesting crowd." Rojas confirmed sounding pleased with his response from him.

"You're fucking cheesy, Stark. How are you the most famous playboy if you're this cheesy?" I muttered, violently.

"It's only nine. We have an hour to kill. Want to ditch the crowd and go somewhere?" He asked in a suggestive undertone. Rojas understood the hint and gave him one more smirk, apparently Stark's attracted to more gay men than women.

It's quite disgusting.

"Let me grab my coat." He said as he nodded towards the door and Stark smiled encouragingly and followed him out of the rowdy crowd.

"Easy as pie. This is quite fun don't you agree, Flare?" Stark smirked at him keeping him interested.

"Shut it- easy as pie my ass." I staggered in anger.

I can't believe he made a joke like that, but I think he was serious about his pie.

There were a couple moments of silence before Rojas spoke again because he remained quite on the other side of the line. It's when I know there's something wrong with the situation. It went too smoothly. "What do you do for a living?" Rojas asked sipping away at his drink.

"Fellow businessman." Stark easily replied because it worked for him. He does own a mansion in Malibu and has a Tower here, in New York.

"Really, so you're not on SHIELD's watch list that has been having a secret conversation with a teenage girl?" He asked casually as Stark froze in his spot. "You're a good man Tony, but not good enough." Stark paused with a piece of shrimp halfway to his mouth.

_**CLICK**_.

Oh, they did notice. See he's an idiot for getting caught.

"Well . . . I'm still wondering where my pie is." He stated glaring at the gun in his face.


	8. Chapter 8

Ch.8 Dive

Stark and Rojas stared at each other for several tense seconds as Stark was intently gathering more information on him-at least I hope so-by staring him down as well as thinking of a way to escape his soon death. Man, if he dies I'm in a shit load of hell when it comes to Fury, but sometime there is no room for escape. When you can't see things it's better off to listed your surroundings when things go bad and you can't do anything or if you're trapped in a dark room, that's a way to go. So keep your head before you do anything reckless and stupid and get us all killed.

If he can't make an escape the only thing he can do is fight-I hope he can fight, otherwise I'm in more trouble than he can imagine-while he's waiting for a miracle to happen and that's why he's stuck in a situation like this, not because he's a playboy and famous for his reputation and it hurts his pride knowing that I'm seventeen and a better person finishing this assignment it's because he's a freaking idiot.

I'm the idiot for making him do this and knowing someone was going to see him for who is, clearly.

What more could go wrong?

My fucking head hurts every time there something bad going on with him and me. He causes me more of a headache than SHIELD!

"This area is surrounded. There is no place to run or hide, Tony." Rojas declared with a dangerous-violent gleam in his eyes.

That was utter bullshit.

_**BOOM**_!

My "partner" and Rojas quickly dived for the floor when I sent a discharge of flames in their direction when I smashed the window to the passenger seat. I saw Stark roll on the dirt ground, coughing as he rolled on his back seeing me in his car. Don't ask why, all I know it's a pretty sweet ride and we need to get the hell out of here. "Get your ass in the damn car." My voice reached its peak. I was pissed. He stared at me and my state of the ripped shirt revealing half my stomach. I could feel him stare me down at my unwanted scars that circled my waist.

"What the hell do you think you're doing driving _**my**_ car and why did you disconnect the lines?" Stark asked quickly jumping into the Audi, shut the door as I slammed my foot on the gas pedal. Wherever Rojas was, Stark nonchalantly walked to the car.

"They hacked our lines." I said driving dangerously close to the edge of a cliff. The back of Stark's head hit the head seat. I was going way over the speed limit, but who's gonna' stop me? No one, I'll beat their asses before they can get to mine.

"Thanks." He muttered holding onto the handle above his head. I could tell he was a bit scared from my slight reckless driving. He can get over it because where dealing with an angry mafia man an the rest of his goons. I swear this shit never ends. "Should I really let you be driving my car?" He asked when saw three mafia cars fall off the edge of the bridge. Where did the nerve for that question come to?

Hello, earth to fucking Tony Stark we are being chased and gunned down by an angry gay man.

I DO NOT NEED TO REMIND YOU!

"Should you be asking questions you don't want answers to?" I asked, viciously slamming on the breaks as Stark almost lost his grip on the handle.

"Flare, what the hell are you doing?" Stark swore under his breath as he noticed ten mafia cars heading towards us. He sank down in his seat to avoid any gun fire while head is the one that's showing.

Stark, you freaking coward!

"Hold onto your damn life, Stark. This is going to be a fun a ride." I say darkly getting a terrified look from the playboy. I slammed on the pedal putting the car into reverse as we sped away backwards from a trail of mafia cars in front of us.

There is nothing more I like than getting chased by a single gay man that happens to be married, yet his wife knows and what I don't understand is why she bothered to stay with him. Oh, well, probably because he has money. I don't know, maybe she really did love him, but she couldn't leave his side, yeah right. You know how fucking cheesy that sounds. She probably has a plan to rip him apart so she doesn't have to live with him.

That is quite disgusting.

"You have wonderful driving skills." Stark joked decently as his knuckles turned white from the hard grip on the handle. Well, at least he can keep up with me, not being that scared, more like terrified out of his mind. Either that or he puts on a good mask.

Did I just compliment him?

"Why don't you stop joking and think of a plan for the next five minutes while I try to keep us alive." I growled and he gave me a hesitant look. His eyes grew wide, saying, are-you-crazy.

Do we really need to establish that?

Yes I am. Now let's get this shit mission over with so I can go get some sleep.

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

"FUCKING FANTASTIC! THE COLUMBIAN BASTARDS FINALLY KNOW HOW TO WORK THEIR FUCKING GUNS!" I shouted as the glass behind us began to shatter into tiny little shards. Stark sank lower into his seat while still holding on the handle. I wonder if he has any feeling in his hand since he's holding it so tight.

"Keep driving I have an idea." Stark said as he began to undo the belt from the passenger seat and jumped into the back seat. Now I was slightly getting scared.

GOD, PLEASE HELP US!

"IT BETTER BE A GOOD ONE!" I shouted as I spun the wheel, making a sharp turn on a busy intersection with the entire mafia on our tails. How long is this going to last?

"You know I' beginning to think you actually like me." He scoffed as I watched him look for something, ignoring his comment. I won't admit it to him, but I sort of am starting to like him, what the hell am I talking about? I better be dreaming.

"WE'RE NEVER GOING TO OUTRUN THEM!" I slammed on the gas pedal harder as the Audi went faster while Stark still frantically searching. I don't know what it is, all I know is it better be something worth our wild here on this intersection. I made another turn on the left lane as a car came from the front honking its horn.

DO YOU PEOPLE NOT SEE THE CARS BEHIND US?

WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING HONCK THE HORN ON THEM!

"I KNOW! YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW? I HAVE A PLAN!" He furiously yelled.

"I'M BEGINNING TO _HATE_ ALL YOUR PLANS!" I yelled making a sharp turn on a red light. I could care less about all the traffic laws I'm breaking. The police can just fuck with someone else and arrest the idiots.

"Stark. . ." I say slowly. I was almost at the edge of new intersection they were making.

Oh, shit.

"Take a right here and follow that main road." He shouted from behind me. I furrowed my brows when I found out he was putting on his suit. How the hell does he know where he's going?

"WHATEVER THE HELL YOU'RE DOING, DO I T NOW! I shouted and glanced at the bridge we we're rapidly approaching. I whipped my head back and I saw twenty new mafia cars on our tail.

FUCK THIS ASSIGNMENT!

"DRIVE OFF THE CLIFF!" Stark shouted as he flew out of the car leaving me behind.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?" I shouted in anger, disbelief taking over my entire body.

I cannot believe him. He is just like freaking Clint Barton.

"JUST DO IT!" Stark shouted as he shot his repulsor leaving an explosion of cars behind me, some metal rising in the air then came crashing down in a spiraling hurricane of hell. I hoped I can dodge them all.

I glared at him for several tense seconds debating if I was crazy for following a plan of his own and then I did exactly as he told me to while another explosion went off. The second he did that, a large piece of metal landed right in front of the car. I quickly took a fast sharp turn, whipping the car backwards. There were still a few cars coming. The moment the car slammed to the side of the guard railing, I slipped the seat belt off, pushed the car door open and leaped out of the Audi quickly, rapidly descending to another strip of water below.

"THIS IS A FANTASTIC WAY TO DIE!" I yelled furiously as I kick my legs and wave arms around, like I'm running in the air.

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE! NOT ON WATCH!" Stark shouted as he dove down in his suit I wanted to so badly burn him in and instantly caught my hand then dropped me back onto the highway.

"I hate you, Stark." I finally stated, maliciously. I heard the car sink into the murky depths of the lake.

I stood in the middle of an intersection glaring at the mafia cars still coming in our direction as Stark and I teamed up. We stand back to back, firing away with my destructive flames and his dangerous repulsors while standing under the dark night, the stars shinning below us making everything glow with a violent passion. Everything then came crashing down. All the cars went down one by one and then there was Rojas who was taken out in the explosion-thank God for that-debris of every fallen mafia car was now falling onto every part of the road, us, and now the filthy lake.

I just wanted to know if we were done here.

"Do you still hate me?" Stark whispered as he stood next to me.

"Yes." I replied irritably.

Not that much, at least.

He laughed and shook his head slightly. I watched him talk to himself for a moment until he took off his helmet. "Why would you expect anything else coming from a hormonal teenager." He curiously asked himself and crossed his arms like a child. "Do you at least hate me less?" I refused to answer him when he knows the answer to such obvious responses.

The things Stark does gets me into trouble with SHEILD because he follows his own set of rules, then again, so do I. SHIELD only put me on assignments for one sole reason and it's for my memories. But then again, I'm sort of starting to like Tony Stark, just a little. He's still an annoying egotistical-bastard.

Though we killed our target, Director Fury and Coulson-my handler- will be furious when he finds out what we've done in Columbia and the reason they keep such a close tabs on me. It's the way I act, the way I keep myself in tact with the assignments they give me, the way people get hurt and when they get too close. I live with that as a nightmare, something to remember me by. . .

YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE . . . maybe.

I just might accept Stark. It was just another dive for my memories and he might be able to help me so yeah, he's accepted.


	9. Chapter 9

Ch.9 BASE

Three and half hours later, Stark and I sat in director Fury's office as a complete wreck. Stark stood in part of his suit with only the gauntlets and half of the lower part while I stood there in a half ripped shirt and my pants looking like shorts, expect they were torn from my waist down, so in other words we look like shit. The way he eyes us was beyond pissed and the way his aura left his calm body, Fury is going to shoot something or someone.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, YOU BLEW UP AN ENTIRE INTERSECTION WHILE GETTING CHASED BY THE MAFIA AND JUMPING INTO A LAKE?" Fury shouted as I glared back at the man who is supposed to help me. I can't believe I just said something like. OH, MY GOD! Most times they can't keep their promises, they're meant to be broken and it only shows you can't trust them. "Did Rojas get away?" Fury asked dangerously as he heard a hesitant answer from Stark who kept his eyes on mine.

I seriously can't believe I want this playboy to help me.

"He did and didn't when she ended things." He said tightly, looking at Fury with anger in his eyes. I did not think he could get this violent with the Director since he usually plays him off, probably something like you can't afford. Did I just reference him, the man I kinda' am beginning to like?

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME?

The two of us fight like freaking Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff and I wouldn't even classify us as a team or partners-still prefer to work alone-but come on, I cannot take this is shit anymore.

"Care to explain why half the Columbian intersection is in half?" The director glared us down. In a way, he acts as if there's always a meaning behind the littlest things which there are so I see his point. To be honest, at this point I am slightly scared of the Director since we did break almost every rule in his book-who doesn't? I have my own set of rules to follow so you can kiss my ass.

"Well . . ." Stark steadily began with wariness in his tone before I promptly cut him off slamming my finished report on his desk.

THIS SHIT ENDS TONIGHT!

I CANNOT TAKE ANOTHER EFFING NIGHT WITH ALL THIS BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET ANY REST TONIGHT AND IF I'M CALLED IN ON ANOTHER ASSIGMENT I WILL FUCKING BURN DOWN THIS ORGANIZATION, AGAIN, FOR A SECOND TIME!

"You have the report, read the dame thing." I demanded. I was beyond pissed at everything and everyone. People who want to push their life into mine will be hell, but they'll be pushed away as well, if they're luck and won't get hurt. They probably will. I'm neither their enemy nor their friend, I'm a tool used for destruction, a weapon used to kill anything, well, I wouldn't go that far as to calling me a weapon, but it's what I feel like. For example: like SHIELD who I made an agreement to: I help them catch the bad guys who might some information on my missing memories and then get some from my handler, Coulson and sometimes Hill.

Sometimes when I get an assignment I feel a bit a confused, defeated, wasted, broken bruised since this is the first time I'm actually working with someone who's watching my back, yeah the guy I'm stuck with, Tony fucking Stark who has an ability to annoy the shit out of people when they don't want him around, like me. Then I get the feeling it's like one of those days to learn from our mistakes, and then I feel this aching that won't go away.

"Agent Cruor." Fury said, steadily as Stark took one glance at me while I glared dangerously at _him_.

This is one of the worst shit missions I've ever done.

"I'm not an agent." I hissed violently. "I'm just a kid you picked up when your agency was getting destroyed by some goons who didn't know what the hell they were doing." I say darkly, giving Fury a vehement glare of hatred as he remained silent. I left leaving no room for either of the two to respond to me. I let my hand scan over the handle for a moment slipping on another ring.

I could feel his expressionless stare right on my back when I left and it internally pissed me off. It's much more than a simple expressionless stare, his eye hardened as if he was trying to tell me something that I'm blind to see. Someone's gotta' help understand why I'm like this-someone just has to know because, otherwise I'll long gone before then. Maybe I do need Stark for a help. How can I do that when I push most people away?

"She's already dismissed herself." Fury breathed out tiredly. He sighed once my presence was gone. "Mr. Stark." He steadily called out. Now what did he want him to do that was probably going to involve me.

When you think your life is over and you have nowhere left to go, you're wrong. There are people who want you around, but if those same people force themselves into _your_ life, it'll be the last thing they see. It's better to be left alone, though it's lonely. I can't imagine what it's like to feel empty when no one cares and you want to end your life and those same people might just be your lifeline then there might be a chance of you living even if it's difficult to face. Then these are the questions that wavered in mind:

Will I ever get my memory?

How long until I break?

How long can I stay alive?

Secrets are kept hidden for a reason. It'll either make you or break you and we have to live with it every day and it sort of fills up the questions. Secrets eat us alive. We want to know the truth, but truths have secrets and lies hidden within. And it just makes _me_ want to search harder-farther. I'm in it for my own benefit.

God, I sound like Tony and I really don't want to.

I sat at a bench by the director's office as my mind wanted to haunt me of memories coming from Natasha, Clint and Stark. They all have a purpose in life and they're trying to make me figure out my own purpose, however I just push them away.

We'll at least there was nothing the Director actually wanted him for so that was good on my part, at least.

"You okay?" The man from before stood in front of me with a calm look as he took a quiet seat next to me, Rodgers, that's his name. I'm grateful for a calming aura instead of Stark's. "Ember Cruor, right?" He asked cautiously as he took in my state.

Yeah, I'm not pleased with it either.

They won't know and it didn't matter if they asked they'll be shot down, immediately while I deal with my own wounds that quickly heal. I just hate SHIELD medical, it's not the place for me because it makes me feel like I've been somewhere near that, except it was darker and I didn't know anyone let alone anything at that point. So what was the real point in stealing my memories? What's so important about them anyways?

"Yeah my life is just a living hell." I smirked, lightly at the response I gave him. I felt a bit at ease. There was no annoying egotistical-bastard-playboy around, my annoying conscience that likes to be Cling Barton and his crazy red-head partner, Natasha Romanoff-though I can get along with her, sort of. I just don't want my head to be dismantled by her.

"Can't get any worse?" He said, lightly laughing when I gave him a questioning look.

Did I say something funny?

Yeah, I know it's a cheesy line to say and if you tell me I promise I will hunt your ass down and burn you.

Then I heard him come.

Now I need several Advil's to rid of these fucking headaches they claim.

"No one invited me to the party?" Clint joked, standing in front of us, an excited smile on his lips.

Now what?

The calm aura Steve's embedding in seems to make me calm, a piece of overwhelming kindness that relaxes all the anger built inside while I feel every bone in my body relax. If there really was such a peace like that, how long will it last?

I want to take a hold of one thing, if not, maybe two and if I was truly to seek out those answers I have to walk through the flames and find out what matters most and if it means to lose control over something you want to gain, I'll do everything in my power to get the things I want.

Do I ever stop with this kind of shit?

Probably not, but I do feel as if I'm starting to sound and act like Stark.

No, that can't be it. It's gotta' be something else, right?

RIGHT?

NOOOOOOOOO!

Now I'm starting to wonder why Clint comes to see me when I walk in through the front doors or why he even bothers to actually see me. I don't understand him one bit. It's why he has Natasha.

"Do you always have to see me when you get the chance?" I asked in an irritating tone as my one moment of silence vanished when _he_ appeared. "Why don't you go back to your insane partner, Natasha?"

"What about me?" Natasha walked down the hall when she heard her name come out of my mouth.

DAMN IT?

WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE?

WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM?

"Does this happen often?" Steve asked, suddenly turning his attention to me with a wary look.

My eye twitched in irritation because the ridiculous conversations began to give me a bigger headache and Stark would just give me an even bigger headache. "Most of the time." I say breathlessly as he appeared towards the small progressing group. "And then there's him." I mumbled, tiredly. My eyes are glued on him as he watched the looks of all his acquaintances.

This day can get real shitty and even shittier.

HOW DID I EVER LET MYSELF GET CAUGHT BY TWO ASSASSINS THAT BELONG TO SHIELD?

FUCK EVERYTHING AT THE MOMENT!

CAN'T I JUST DO WHAT I WANT FOR THE MOMENT?

IS THAT A LITTLE TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR, SERIOUSLY?

"What happened in Columbia?" Clint faced him while Natasha kept a close eye on his moves because the way he words his phrases can be a bit cruel.

Me, Tony, Barton, and Natasha we might be able to get along for a short period of time, but the thing is, between me and these three they all drive me up a fucking wall and you know what, we hardly get along. We always find a way to get into big arguments that don't make sense, yet I get the feeling the Director and Coulson are behind something.

Like Fury said, bonding.

That was a load of utter bullshit.

Please tell me someone else caught that?

"Not much." He says lightly while keeping his eyes locked on mine as a small smile graced his lips.

What the hell did he want?

Barton was about to speak again when our handler stopped in the middle of the hallway and stared at us and then he yelled, "STARK, CRUOR, GO HOME! QUITE WASTING MY AGENT'S TIME!" He demanded from afar as Clint gave him a warning look.

"WITH PLEASURE!" Stark shouted back sarcastically, putting in his famous smirk on watching Coulson walk away with a blank expression on his face.

I rolled my eyes.

"Now you're a real pain in my ass." I stated, irritably.

"Yeah, so are you."

At least we can agree on something.


	10. Chapter 10

Ch.10 Stark's Mansion

An hour and a half later, Stark's assistant Ms. Potts had been dealing with the press of our little quarrel that day in the park when I decided to toy around with Tony and tried to burn him while he was gone and when we showed up several hours later: bloody, bruised, and batter. She glared him down with a worried look while I went to my room leaving these two in an argument over in disclosed problems and doors, but he's not one for rules. Then I have my laptop to watch what's going on. Now I feel as if I can get some rest, only for a few hours, probably knowing how SHIELD is.

He's also not my problem.

I'm his problem.

"Hey, Pepper." Stark said, unknowingly because of other scenarios running through his head. You could easily tell since his eyes revert to other things, except her. His eyes are always on her no matter what was going on.

"You've been gone over eighteen hours almost giving me a heart attack, Tony." Pepper's beyond pissed, but it was a bit unnoticeable since she was more worried about his presence. I wonder if this is what it feels like having someone care about you. "You come home covered in bruises along with Ember and the first thing you say, 'hey Pepper'?" Pepper frantically yelled as Stark firmly put both hands on her shoulders and gave a small genuine smile.

She's definitely pissed.

"It's over." He says softly. Now decides to have a heart. STOP SWITICHING EMOTIONS STARK, IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING! "I'm fine, really. Okay?" He pleaded. A sorry glint flashed his eyes as Pepper listened to every word, carefully making sure there was still nothing wrong with him, beside his irritating ego. "If you're here then everything is okay." Stark gently whispered, but not loud enough for her to catch his phrase.

It sounded like he was in love with her.

He probably is. He just won't admit it.

After that mission, every part of my body feels sorer than last time, but this was the second Stark and I went on an assignment. Whatever SHIELD was planning-playing in this type of field with me knowing he might get kill-well, we'll all get killed one day, just not now-is a dangerous part on their organization because there are things they won't be able to hide and I'm still wonder when the hell Hill or Coulson is going to tell me anything about my memories.

Still waiting.

And still waiting . . .

This is where I might belong. . .

"You've done enough for me, Pepper and you know it. We both do. Just quit worrying. You're all I have left." Stark declared determinedly as she scanned his eyes for any fault and found none. He sounds like he'd do just about anything for her, not matter what the cost is or what the consequences bring him. He truly wants her to be safe.

"You're all I have too, you know?" Pepper gave him a warm smile. She seems a bit better than a few minutes ago when the two of us walked in. "Where were you two?" She immediately asked almost forgetting he was gone from her sight.

"Uh, Columbia," He steadily said. "We dealt with a chaotic mafia boss and got thrown over a burning bridge of his cars." Stark calmly answered grabbing a drink from his kitchen, he stared at her for a moment when he realized the hesitant gleam in her eyes. "It wasn't all that bad."

THIS DAMN PLAYBOY IS SO NONCHALANT!

WHAT THE HELL, TONY?

YOU PISS ME OFF LIKE NO TOMORROW!

"One day you're actually going to kill yourself." Pepper scoffed at his stubbornness. I knew the second those words left her mouth she was scared she might never be able to see him, again. I know she didn't want that because cares just as much as he does, if not then way more.

NOW HE'S FLIRTING IN HIS STATE!

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU!

"Not when someone's waiting here." He mumbled into his drink and watched the she sways side to side. She's _perfect_. Stark won't admit to anything unless she's the first to speak.

As the seconds, hours, days, weeks, months, and years pass nothing changes, it all stays the same between me and this billionaire playboy. We still, argue, fight, bicker like children just like Barton and Natasha. I swear the way they fight they act like a married couple.

It's like we're one big dysfunctional family.

I don't know who my family is.

No matter how hard I try I feel like there's way more I'm missing, something much more valuable than my memories. Whatever that is I hope it's a good thing because I don't that many bad things in my screwed up life as it already is. If you know or at least heard of me, you'll know that I'm a quite unstable, independent person. I'm a wreck, mostly a weapon used for SHEILD's purposes, but if being a weapon to an organization like them I might have the answers to my memories then I'd be fine for a little, but only until then and for now it doesn't matter what they're filled in.

I just want my memories.

I don't care if that gets annoying.

I stared at the reflection in the bathroom mirror with my laptop at my side as cleaned the blood off my waist. My bloody face and bruised body are covered in scars that hold untold storied that will not be revealed in any way and I don't care if _he_ demands to know. He can kiss my ass. It's an easy way to forget the simple things in life, like life itself. People are easily fooled by others if they're interested in things that come to them. It's sick to think and know that we have people like that on our planet. What's worse is having or being on the SHEID helicarrier as an agent or an assassin watching your every move.

There was still no fucking privacy.

What do you have to do to get that?

SERIOUSLY!

LAY OFF ASSHOLES!

"Cruor?" Stark opened the door to my room with a question. Before he came in any further I shoved my laptop into the lower cabinet. His voice was caught inside his throat as he saw the condition I'm in.

"Go away." I hissed with a malicious tone taking place. I didn't need him here. I wanted to attend my wounds myself.

"Everything all right?" Stark warily asked, taking small steps to reach me. See, this is why I can't stand him. When people want him to go away he comes back and attaches himself like he's some leech who can't get away, not matter how hard you try.

I laughed darkly before responding to his question, yet the questions he asks are hysterical and the people call him a "_GENIUS_._"_ He knows the answers when he asks them, so why waste your breath and ask?

"Why are you here?" I avoided the question getting a suspicious focus in his eyes.

"Me? I live here. The question is why did Fury put me with you?" Stark mysteriously alleged in a harsh tone. "Why did I get stuck with a hotheaded-American-teenage-girl?" He muttered loudly enough for me to hear.

"Why did I get stuck with an egotistical-playboy?" I shot back heatedly with a growl.

"You know, I'm starting to believe you actually like me." Stark says confidently as a smirk came across his face and crossed his arms.

"You wish." I scoffed. Most of the time I wonder what it's like to have something that belongs to me, despite the fact it might get taken away in the process and somehow you just managed to find it through the skin of your teeth.

"What did I ever do to piss you off?" Stark suddenly asked when he saw a grin appear on my face.

"Nothing." I say simply. He looks unconvinced at my answer, but most things he says are true about me. "Just my personality."

"We should keep doing this every time you and I go on an assignment. You talk to me." He added cautiously because of the deadly gaze I gave him.

The look quickly disappeared when a flash of pain swept his eyes and quickly vanished as if he wanted to look away and if he did he would be a coward for running away instead of facing the fear that might just end his life.

The distant gleam his eyes made it worse for me, mostly his assistant then it hit me. "One question, only." I growled irritably knowing I have to be aware of the multiple conclusions this man comes up with. "Who are you?" Stark slowly asked searching my eyes for an answer and he didn't and instantly my walls went up.

"Me? I'm just a highly, unstable, independent, insane person of SHEILD." Nothing mattered to me that moment. It was perfectly clear that one day _it'll_ be the day of vengeance. The demons will come one day and if we don't have it, it all goes to hell then somewhere along the lines someone will pick up the broken pieces and try to put them back together.

"You?" I say steadily, shocking him a bit as well myself.

"Me?" Stark imitated my calm voice with slight pride. "I'm just a playboy, genius, billionaire, philanthropist with a huge ego. And apparently I'm also a jackass." Stark actually like he really started to like me and for once I'm glad that we're not arguing.

I laughed lightly as he smiled warmly. For once I felt welcomed. "You should go back to your assistant."

Though I may have felt welcomed, I still push them away. This is how I work: ALONE. Yet, each and every one of them _wants_ to enter my life. I'm no one special, so why do they bother when they know I'm going to push them away? There's only one thing special about me: MY ABLILITY, which I can control, create, and transform into fire at will.

When the flames come out people get hurt. . .

At least try and not get burned.

Stark walked out with that smirk playing off his face just as he ran into his P.A, Virginia Pepper Potts. "Tony. . ." I rolled my eyes. He was such a child.

"Well, she's talking . . . . More or less." A smile remained every time he runs, talks, or sees her. Stark lights up like a Christmas tree, though he hides it well with his reputation.

He didn't wait for a response as he took her arm and walked her downstairs at a fast pace and received a worried glance from Pepper when she saw the way he's behaving around her and me. He peaked behind her head as he searched around his mansion to see if I followed him and he's a fool to think that I'll follow him.

"Pepper, promise me you'll keep her mouth shut." Stark's voice went rigid as he set his hands on her shoulders to firmly hold her in place.

Way to be gentle, Stark.

I wish my volume would work properly because I can barely hear them talk in the background and then I have this screeching noise that doesn't go away. It's like something or sone one doesn't want me to know and who ever it is I'll make them tell me before I would their pathetic life.

"What's going . . .?" He cut her off before she could finish her sentence because his voice instantly scared her. "Pepper, **promise me**?" He began to shout uncontrollably and she froze in place. "I've been gathering more information on Ember and SHEILD. First, both her parents were SHEILD agents before they were K.I.A then she was orphaned for fifteen years, but there's an immense gap between the times she was and wasn't there then _they_ came along doing intense missions. . ." Stark rambled as she instantly caught the idea where he went with his theory.

A theory is just a theory with evidence that may or may not be true until they know it is and until you know it's real and _**NOT A LIE**_.

"Either SHEILD had her or someone else had her before they did. That's why they have her under surveillance and kept her on the helicarrier before those two years." A slight pitch difference as he finished what he started.

I wonder if he knows about it.

I doubt it.

Now it was time to finish the jobs we were given and soon it will all be over, but the painful recollection will be there to earn and I can't afford to be scared.

"That information is dangerous." Pepper concluded with slight horror flashing into her thoughts and having things play over and over that shouldn't happen.

"Then there's her memory. Another theory came to mind. Whatever did occur to her over the past the years, whatever or whoever did this to her caused her to erase those memories. . ." He said steadily-cautiously just in case I was down there and if I was his mansion would be ruins.

"But. . ." Pepper began knowing there are consequences and sacrifices to make.

"But whatever made her like that will bring them back and she remains the same." The genius part of Stark finally shines as he finds a way to help me even more now.

I really am enjoying this side of Tony since he's not being such a jackass, but this I could get used to.


	11. Chapter 11

Ch.11 REST

When you come home from a mission or an assignment from SHEILD you'd expect to get some rest, apparently they have a different kind of rest. It had only been four hours since we've been back. I thought we'd get more, but I guess not. It's morning and my SHIELD authorized phone Coulson gave me rang on the night stand beside me. I chose to ignore it and he can deal with that just for tonight. And this was only an hour after Tony and Pepper were discussing some things in a scratch place that ring could not pick up.

Oh well, what are you gonna' do?

Living is hard enough without screwing things up things that are suppose to make people good, but those things don't last forever so you have to make the most of it and it feels like it'll take a life time. It doesn't, you just learn to live with it no matter who impatient some people get. Sometimes I feel like I've lost my way and most times I have. It's not enough and it never is. Like it said, you learn to live with it.

Then you have this: It's easy to fall apart, completely.

These days and nights that I spend in the tower with Stark has been nothing, but a pain in my ass who doesn't know when to leave me alone, but I like his persistence because to me it's funny how I can irritate him by pushing him away while struggles to understand. Sometimes I don't he will. I want him to stop trying, completely to get into my life, my head, my thoughts just like Coulson, yet they only want to help me. They don't give in as I try to shut them off every day, from me and the world I surround myself in or whatever the world has to offer me.

_Buzz_.

_Buzz_.

_Buzz_.

NO PRIVACY!

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I asked in an irritated tone while on the other line he wasn't fazed by it. And those were the first words that heard come out from mouth and if he didn't like it, well he can kiss my ass.

"Get back at base, immediately." Coulson said steadily with an edge in his voice. I knew he wasn't messing around because he's always difficult with people, yet that wasn't the problem. It sounded like he asked for help and the only thing he'll get is destruction.

I wonder what was happening now.

At least I wouldn't need Stark, I hope.

When you work for an organization like SHEILD you'll hardly get any rest, that's the one thing I really want: just rest, but with them there is no such thing as rest. It's always work, work, work, work and more work. Here I thought I could get exactly that: rest.

"What's the problem?" I asked, steadily in caution. What my handler holds could either help or hurt the people or destroy me. Either way, we all get hurt somehow, we hope not by the people who help us.

"Director Fury needs you now in his office while dealing with Mr. Stark." He quickly said in urgency and for some reason it doesn't see so urgent as well.

What did he need Stark for?

"You're going to owe Stark a new car." I say calmly and shut the phone before he spoke another word to me.

Now I'm pissed.

I have no room to complain, though I hardly get any rest anyways since I work them now. It's not easy working with them.

Everything I go through is easy to forget when those malicious thoughts creep into my mind while I think about the people who stole my memories cloud my actual thoughts about everything else. It's the only thing that gets in way, besides Stark. Though it may seem sick, maybe overwhelming and when I feel like that it makes me feel human again because I know there's something pulling me away from the things I can't explain then somehow it vanishes, especially when I get that close too. FUCK! Then we get called the good guys for killing off the bad, I mean seriously we're do you go saying that kind of crap? If you ask, it's fucking bullshit.

It's cruel just like everything else then it seems to fade as we walk away from it, yet the memories remain are still there and we pay for their mistakes. Whoever made them like this I will take them down before they get me and I **will** only target the ones that get in my way, no matter how cold or emotionless I get.

Then he had to come along.

"Why are you headed in my shop?" Stark asked, leaving Pepper alone to follow me quickly downstairs. Now he wants to stalk me. There really is not thing as privacy. "There's a code." He said calmly watching my behavior as it switched from earlier.

I smirked, deviously as a flame emitted itself into my hand. I shattered the glass, pushed the door open from the inside and grabbed a pair of car keys on the front board beside me that led to one of his Audi's. "What code?" I asked, teasingly before I drove off. He finally progressed what had just happened.

It really is funny watching him notice things about me when I play around his mind.

"THAT'S MY CAR!" He instantly frowned when I gave him the birdie and muttered, "That's rude."

You can't always get you want so shut the hell up.

Throughout my entire life I've been a complete wreck. I've killed people for the greater good of my sanity, even SHIELD, searching for unanswered questions. To be honest, I'm hell on earth, for everything I've done in my past even up to now. The only memories I want to reclaim are the ones my parents gave me if I even have any parents and even if they cared about-at least that's what I'm hoping for.

Yet decisions are what make people. How they react is another or how they treat others another is how they'll cooperate. When agencies are formed: bonds, friendships, and partnerships are also formed while they work together and most agents at SHIELD have partners and there are also a few who prefer to work alone.

Now I'm just stuck in between.

I don't understand why. It's like I like working with Stark, but at the same I've always been on my own dealing with situations on my own.

I'VE DONE EVRYTHING ON MY OWN!

Up until now, everything about me is slowly changing ever since Fury stuck me with Stark

The dark nights ahead of me with its bright stars remain in one place, like it always is. It never moves unless you do. So weird. Now these nights are growing slower, if not, faster because more of my time is being consumed by Coulson or Stark. When you're surrounded in a chaotic job, world or even people who want in on your life, you're screwed. Their life might be more messed up than me or whoever is involved in SHIELD.

SHIELD keeps secrets that are meant to cause others harm to us and other agents, but in other terms I can see why they do that, it's because they don't want others to learn the truth, knowing how much pain they'll feel. It's like they were trying to be sympathetic. It wasn't working too well. They just want to keep us on a thin line. Also, those secrets can be used to blackmail our enemies if they refuse to cooperate with certain interrogators, like Barton and Natasha, but it can get out of hand if you don't know how to properly use them, well then you're royally fucked.

So good luck with that.

"Coulson." I said through gritted teeth to show him I'm more than pissed off.

And he wanted to start things off like this.

"Now that Mr. Stark is watching you, you probably picked up a few valuable lessons." He warily said giving me a glance at the state I'm in. Lessons, what the hell? Is that why he sent me there? "He'll be gone for a couple of days with his assistant, Ms. Potts. You'll be here on base recovering from your injuries."

I do not to recover. I've already aided myself and what the hell does he want with Stark.

"What is Fury doing with Stark?" I asked, warily glancing at my handler. Coulson won't tell me the answers unless someone else is involved so that's when I asked, "Who all is involved?" I kept pestering him with questions that seem to infuriate him.

"Agent Barton and you have quite the explanation to give to Director Fury after the destruction you both caused in Cuba and Columbia. This is before he leaves." Coulson finally answered, but the question remained. What does Fury want us to explain when I gave him the reports? Everything he wants to know is written in those reports.

Oh, so he's putting me on punishment.

This asshole of a handler is wasting my time.

I can't believe this.

Coulson waited outside while I pushed the door open to an extremely pissed off Director and Barton who's giving me a warning look, like he doesn't want me to say anything. I don't think that's going to happen. "Director. . ." He couldn't finish his sentence when he quickly spun around in an angry rage of hell.

Why is everyone so freaking pissed?

"Who wants to tell me exactly what happened in Cuba and why the highway is completely destroyed in both areas along with the intersections?" He said dangerously. The question pooled out like venom. He hated people who couldn't get the job done, but he makes us try harder.

He should be glad. We did get it done, we just kinda' destroyed the highways.

"Where the hell is my partner?" Barton questioned the director who ignored his questions. He feared for his partner's life. Barton wouldn't want anything terrible to happen to her. He knows full well she is capable of taking care of herself. I know he can't help, but think she's okay, wherever she is.

"Agent Barton, I will not tolerate your behavior as well as Cruor." He growled ruthlessly. He made us answer his questions, but there not the same when you read them.

Now I'm in a shit load of trouble.

I blame Tony Stark.

"We just did like you asked." Clint proclaimed. He's more concerned about his partner than this because he's always with her and the fact that Fury didn't answer him made him grow a bit angry.

The information he gave to the Director isn't enough to convince him, especially when I damaged the highways. "You really want answers, Fury?" I declared, violently with a heated gleam in my eyes. "Well, you know what?" I say in an aggressive whisper and leaned in closer, placing my hands at the corners of his desk. "There are answers you can't always get." He glared towards the both of us. A strong, threatening aura filled the office, suffocating the life out of us.

"Ember Cruor, an unstable, independent, insane person on this base raised their voice at me?" Fury asked in slight humor and disbelief as his aura quietly disappeared. "When highways are destroyed they cause a bigger problem. When you two people or more demolished the highway intersections the police get involved, immediately there calling the C.I.A, D.E.A, F.B.I whoever they can get their hands on and you know, you two and Stark caused all that."

"If that's all you're going to stay I would like to leave." Barton steadily, said when I stopped halfway out the door.

All he really cared for was Natasha. Well, I assume that's what partners are for, ones who care more about you than themselves.

"No," He began strongly. The dark aura returned which made no one falter. "You two are on probation for the next week." Fury declared, grabbing a suitcase, leaving us to process the _assignment_ in the middle of his office.

Probation?

THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM DOING THAT!

"It's not like it can get any shittier." Clint Stated dryly just as Fury propped the door open again.

"You two will also be training the junior agents as punishment." He said in an even tone, a devious smirk plastered to his face.

"WHAT?" Clint shouted in disbelief.

"I thought hawks were supposed to be quiet. You're an annoying bird, _Hawkeye_." I joked evenly with a sly smirk on my face as he stared at me. He was not amused and to be honest neither was I. "Now you made things shittier."


	12. Chapter 12

Ch.12 PAIN

Organizations, governments, presidents, and pedestrians, that all walk the same gravel I do all face death one day, yeah it'll happen so don't complain because everyone knows it, but when you actually experience something as close to death-you're lucky to be alive-you know the people around you are actually care and the one thing they'll always feel is pain. It's not the most pleasant feeling, but sometimes I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all 'cause I know that pretty much what we all can feel. This type is towards SHIELD since I'm stuck here training other agents. Thanks to Clint freaking Barton.

WHERE THE HELL IS NATASHA?

In the dark of my room in SHEILD's base, I have music playing throughout the place wishing a way to find my memories as I stare at the necklace, once again. I don't know why I keep looking at it, ever since I've had that's all I do is just stare at it, like it'll give me something in return. I just don't know what. There's no medicine, no injection to help me recover them. There's only finding answers through assignments which makes SHEILD who they are as well me, if they can keep up. Those assignments can't get them back, only the people who created me this way at least that's what I've been thinking since I started this little run. I'll figure it out and when I do I'll burn them all down before they get me.

They don't know what's coming.

Whether people are tearing down lives, betraying others, or whether they're up for a job that can kill them those are a certain type of group with people that have fallen and they only work for the money with the overwhelming glares and then later they kill them. Can those people ever get a chance to take back what's there's? Do they really deserve it? It was the same for me. Do I actually deserve to regain them?

For the past twenty hours I haven't slept, despite the music being played. It's a bit easier for me that way. It's a drag to not get any sleep, especially if you have an archer watching you from the door to where I lie on the bed staring at the necklace again watching it sway back and forth. It's like chasing a dream that never existed. Dreams are just a figment of our imagination.

Sometimes they can true.

"Staring at that won't get you anywhere." He said warily. I turned my head to face his eyes because he only wants to know. I want to know more than anyone else combined.

"What I stare at doesn't concern you." I say in a dry tone with a piercing glare in my eyes while I stare him down.

"Stop pushing people away, Ember." Barton declared looking into my cold eyes with irritation. He's not the only who's irritated. I'm irritated by everyone.

"If you get too close to the fire, you'll burn." I proclaimed in malice as he made my blood boil with all his meddling and everyone else's. There are rules to follow, and rules are meant for breaking yet, most people never follow the rules of an organization. It's what makes us good agents. You see, we have our own set of rules.

Barton moved from the door to the bunk bed above me assuming he's going to try and get some rest. I've been trying to do that for the past four days. "What the hell are you doing?" I questioned warily. Being here are SHIELD and dealing with this man is not on my agenda, only the answers I seek for.

"Just shut up, get rest, and shut the damn music off before I put an arrow through it." Barton demanded calmly as he quickly drifted off to his sleep. Mostly, this professional man is awake, but he takes every opportunity SHIELD gives him rest.

How come I can't the opportunities like him to get rest?

They're a bunch of shit heads.

There are enough problems as it is. More keeps getting added to the list and if it keeps piling up the way it is now then we'll have more problems to worry about and solve. These three nights in SHIELD and for the junior agents will be hell on earth. The hell they'll go through when they go on an assignment, dealing with their handlers and Director Fury. Who cares gives a rat ass, right now? Why do people get involved with SHIELD when they know what we're like? To me it's just a pain in the ass dealing with them, the agents and to help save their lives during an assignment. It's just too much of a price to pay.

Yet, here I am . . . with them.

Before SHEILD, before agent Barton and Romanoff, and before Stark, I was-still am an independent, insane person. At first I drowned myself into finding my memories of an ocean of despair swallowing my entire existence, breaking down every second, every component in my body. It felt like a lifetime until I had enough with all of it because it was too much to take then later in my life I sat on a railing to a building thinking I could jump to end it all, but something was pulling me away from it then I realized I have a goal to accomplish and I wouldn't let it happen, again yet, I still felt compelled to do so again and again then "they" shouted when I was on their radar in the wrong way.

That's just another part of my fucked up life. I wonder how many times I'll give you something before I've told you everything. Nah, that won't happen.

Now two full years later I work for SHIELD in the search for unanswered questions. It's one of the purposes that's kept me alive for quite awhile, but then I have Barton, Natasha, Coulson, and maybe Stark. Who knows? There are several things that I have to clarify. Here, everything is different, most of the other shit I could care less about it, and it's all real at the same token.

There's never a moment in life that could fulfill anything, if you wanted to something accomplished you have to make it happen no matter how much suffering you go through because there's probably something bad at the end, except, once over you get something nice. I just have to hang on until the line is cut then I'll have to survive over and over again, like I have been all this time. I've always been on my own right from the start. I've risked many things before.

It's my fucking life.

I get to choose whatever the hell I wish to do.

I couldn't sleep, not after staying awake this long. Sometimes, there are times I wish I could sleep forever, something so endless that can take away most of the pain I have built up inside. A part of me wants to keep searching for those answers to keep myself busy, the rest didn't matter, and then nothing mattered. I'm partly here because of my job, the other half is searching. When there's nothing left for me I go and make something happen no matter how dangerous, reckless or violent it gets because it makes me feel like I've done something right. Then again, I'm more reckless than Barton, if not we're possibly on the same level.

Stark is probably way worse than us.

I roamed the hallways of the base to find a leisure center where I can practice my skills without trying to burn anything down this time. I may work for their organization but, I don't consider myself their agent or an enemy I'm there for my own reasons.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

_**BANG**_!

I slammed my fist into a punching bag to let out all my frustration because I felt like I was seeing double and now I'm at a dead end without an assignment. I'm still a mess. There's nothing perfect about me or everything else, it's what makes the world so damn cruel and hypocritical. It's much more than that.

_**BANG**_!

"I DO NOT NEED A FUCKING BABYSITTER!" I yelled into the darkness. The night had been a complete waste of time if I'm stuck here watching-training junior agents.

I FUCKING HATE SHIELD MOST TIMES!

_**BANG**_!

"You know, most people would use a stress ball to release all that anger." Barton appeared as he turned on the lights watching my moves with a shit eating grin across his face.

Now he wants to piss me off.

"I'm not most people, Barton." I proclaimed tightly staring him in his storming blue eyes that seem to hold more than a promise.

Promises are meant to be broken.

"After two years of you being another one of my _partners_ you'd think we'd get past last names, Ember." Barton said calmly. He said it and just killed me on the inside a little. BARTON! His tone annoyed me. It wasn't necessary.

It only made me start to wonder, do they really care?

Will I be able to get the chance of a restart?

And I made him my conscience, somehow.

This is going to shit.

What the hell happened to my nickname?

Why the hell do I even care?


	13. Chapter 13

Ch.13 TRAINING

After my little incident with Barton, I can sort of understand why he follows me around like Stark, he likes keeping his eyes on me, just like the playboy-I wonder if those are related, but that's not point, the point is Barton is sort of my partner, like he said earlier, except I'd rather not be called that. I'm just someone he knows who was supposed to kill. He made a different choice, like Natasha. It made me wonder how many more people he's going to save.

All the agents waiting in the leisure room were having a normal conversation before the room went entirely pitch black then one agent screamed, like the world was gonna' end. If she keeps that up her ass will be caught before anything else then she'll be killed on sight. I was actually looking forward to this, a bit, but this is going to be a royal pain in the ass. This is going to be fun. To them it's going to be like torture, minus the all the sharp weapons. We're the next closes thing to torture.

As the junior agent slowly backed away she bumped into a figure who whispered by her ear, "Don't scream, again or I'll break every bone in your fragile body." The dark voice terrified her. She remained silent for a quick moment then opened her mouth, again while Hawkeye-I don't know why I called him by his title-covered her mouth with a firm grip. "Shhh." He darkly whispered, breathlessly.

Ruthless, don't you think?

I like it.

"AGENT COLINA!" A raspy voice yelled, frantically, searching for the junior in the dark for one of his partners.

These people are terrible.

No wonder they're junior agents.

These agents have horrible field experiences. There's not much we can do to teach them about the field when some of them already have "those" experiences in place. There are just few things they can actually learn from us and for some reason I'm going they pick up on that. The field makes people lose their sanity and whatever is left of it. You can't change that.

You can only change what's around you.

I'm fully committed to my priorities at SHIELD, except these people in the dark that look like rats trying to find what's there's. I seriously want to have Coulson's head. I sighed in my place as the rest of the group hit the middle of the floor. FREAKING IDTIODS! Their startled screams that I heard made me laugh darkly thinking-knowing they're weak. The field is where the real hell beings and if they're not ready they're going to die. Everything is displayed there, the place where they'll never escape.

The lights instantly turned on when four agents had stepped into the middle of the platform. Barton and I stood side by side with maddening grins across our face while staring at the tangled people above yelling-screaming in pain pleading for an escape. I'm glad I was never like this. It's quite embarrassing for us and when I mean us I mean SHIELD. They're just a bunch of arrogant agents who don't know a thing about surviving if they're like this.

"That wasn't fair. We couldn't see." A voice yelled from the front of the net. He had the nerve to yell at his training officers while he's in a mess above. The arrogance he showed made me want to drop them right then and there so I could deal with him, but he was luck I have Barton next to me, otherwise he'd be a pile of ashes.

Luck bastard.

"Life isn't fair, agent Willingham." Barton responded to prove his point on how difficult the situations they'll face become harder than the ones they actually face here. If they keep this up I swear to mother fucking Russia they'll die in here before they get out there and see what they haven't seen before.

"Nothing is fair when you work in this organization." I added dryly with a hint of dark tone. These idiots need to learn fast. "You four!" I shouted fiercely, glaring at the four who have themselves caught over something so trivial. I mean, come on it was quite obvious, even in the dark. "If you don't shut you mouths you'll regret opening it." I declared violently. Letting them hear the clear intent to do harm on their minds or whatever they plan on using.

They were walking in a fire that will get them burned if they're not careful.

"Are you even an agent?" Another agent shouted disbelief etched in his voice when he took one glance at me. "You look fifteen or sixteen." My brow twitched in irritation. I'm quickly beginning to lose my patients and interest in this, epically with all their talking.

I want to beat their asses down just so they can get it through their thick skulls.

I stood there with my arms crossed over my chest, staring at the man dryly. Barton still remained silent. He seemed quite amused by these people as well as me, a smile creeping on his face. "Agent Todd, you should learn to keep your mouth shut and listen to you instructors." I say tightly while Barton holds in his laughter.

OH, SO HE WANTS TO LAUGH!

He's enjoying these arrogant asses try to taunt me. Now I understand why he's acting like this. I'm going to have his head once this is over.

"Why should we listen to a kid?" Todd countered fiercely as the annoyance ran in his tone.

Kid? Who does he think he is?

I AM NOT A FUCKING KID!

I'M SOMEONE WHO'S TEN TIMES STRONGER THAN YOU AND YOU'RE LITTLE SHITTY PALS IN A NET YELLING!

These agents have already begun to get on my last nerves. They hit the line where my nerves are the last thing they're waiting for. Before I gave Barton the signal to drop them he laughed hysterically at the situation then I burned the net surrounding them, watching them untangle each other. I was about to burn a part of his hand for a warning, before I could any close he caught my arm and gave him another smirk and told me to continue.

And he was my conscience.

What the hell is wrong with me?

"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Willingham fiercely yelled at me when I bent down to his level with a death wish he's getting. He stared at me like he was seeing his life pass by. Now I really want to beat the shit out of this guy.

"Get up." I say heatedly as he glares at me in hate. I just smile because the feeling of hate is strong, in the end it just makes you _weak_. . .

Then someone else interjected.

"JUST APOLOGIZE, YOU MORON!" A friend of his shouted in a panicky tone while the look in his eyes could be seen. He wasn't that scared.

A scene like this in the field will get them all killed.

It didn't matter who.

"Agent Bailey." I called firmly letting him know this isn't his place to interfere. "Let him fight his own battles." I glared into his eyes. I'm wondering if they know I searched them up, probably not since they're doing such a fucking fantastic job right now.

By now Clint had stopped laughing when he what the situation was coming to, he stood behind me burning a hole in my back just like Stark and rested his hands on my shoulders to make me relax. He reminds me too much of Stark. Why can't they leave me alone? Why do they all have to interfere?

"Cruor." He called firmly. The dark tone in his voice made me stifle a chuckle. Deep down it's amusing.

"Barton." I say evenly in the same tone. The sadistic gleam in my eyes hardened immediately when Willingham rose to his feet. The junior agents gave us a funny look at the way we stand in front of them which I didn't mind-I don't know why. I kinda' like the feeling I'm getting.

"You're the two who destroyed the highways in Columbia and Cuba?" All four of them asked at the same time. Oh, okay, I see, they're perfectly in synch with talking, but when they're in the field they're shit.

WHAT THE HELL?

Barton and I stared at them for a dark moment as they began to hesitantly back away at the same time. THERE IN SYNCH WITH THIS, COME ON! BE LIKE THIS IN THE FUCKING FIELD YOU DIPSHITS! It was clear in their eyes that they're beginning to fear two out of the three most dangerous people on this helicarrier. "Agents Willingham, Todd, Colina, and Whitebeard . . ." Barton called out. We're both tired of this game of having to deal with these junior agents who apparently have no field experiences. When I get my hands on Coulson I'm going to blow off some steam and yell for their stupid punishment they made us do and where the hell is Natasha? "The four of you will be going through a severe amount of training for the next three days. It starts today."

"I asked a question earlier and I get ignored." Willingham uttered in complete annoyance.

"You get use to it." I say dryly.

"What's the first task?" A red haired woman asked crossing her arms over her chest.

I smiled darkly and gave Barton a sadistic gleam as I handed him a paintball gun. This was so gonna' be fun. "You better start running." The malice in my voice sent cold tremors running down their fragile bodies as they frantically ran off before the clock had started.

"This is going to be fun." Clint and I said together. Yeah, this was definitely going to be fun.

_**BANG**_!

_**SPALT**_.

Willingham had been the first to get hit, the color covering part of his thigh as he crawled on the floor clutching his leg in pain while Barton shot the rest one by one, falling like tiny armies were only one will remain to withstand the pain surging in their veins.

_**BANG**_!

_**SPLAT**_.

"Oh, this too fun." Clint proclaimed with a smirk. He kept the gun aimed on the junior agents while the smirk remained.

"ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE?" Todd yelled as he went to help his friend and get him back up to his feet. He fired again as they both go down in a rage of paintball fury and to be honest I'm kinda' glad I'm here because for once I'm actually enjoying myself.

"This is going to be a long week." I muttered taking a seat on the bench resting my eyes, but kept looking at them through the corner of my eye while they get splattered to death with paint. "Have fun Barton. . ."

Two and a half hours later, the four junior agents are now covered in paint from head to toe as they rub around all their sore spots and for those past two and half hours I had been asleep on the bench, though I had one eye open, unable to get some rest while Barton quenched his entertainment by shooting them with a paintball gun. Now each of them sat in front of us with exhaustion and is heavily breathing out their mouths as they waited for air to return back into their system.

"Cruor, wake up." Barton placed the gun beside my head and shook my shoulder.

". . . It's time already?" I asked sitting up looking at the four covered in paint. He knows I'm half awake so why do that?

Whatever.

"You guys are going to kill us." Willingham proclaimed as he tried to control his breathing. I stared at him for a second and studied the nature of each and every movement they make.

"Huh, you people need more than just physical workouts." I announced dangerously getting each of their attentions that belong to the feared agents.

This is their true nature.

Now he's using my actual name for once and more times than I count in a day, all I know is that he's calling me by my name.

"Ember." Clint called in authority putting a firm hand on my shoulder, again. "That's enough." He said sternly and took one glance at the rest of the kiddy agents. "You're all dismissed."

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked in a violent whisper, turning around to come in contact with face close to mine then I saw another grin on his face. I think he really enjoys messing with me or the fact he likes having me around. Do I ever get a break? The problem with this and this group. . . I don't know, but this feeling inside is taking me apart from what I've already become. I inhaled oxygen to calm myself before a stupid argument would rise out of nothing. ". . . Sorry." I muttered softly.

"Ahem. . ." Willingham coughed to get our attention. He had a slight smile on his face when we gave him our fullest attention. "I'm sorry a-about earlier."He stuttered through his words trying to form a sentence at the same time as thinking it. "I miss read you."

No shit.

I dryly looked at him, blinking my eyes in disbelief. "Shut up and keep your comments to yourself." I growled as he coward behind Colina and she put her hands up in a scared defense with a stupid look on her face.

"Sorry." Willingham apologized again as he kept pushing her forward while she tried to move, but the strong grip he has around her shoulders keeps her restrained.

Maybe they could survive in the field.

"What are you four still doing here?" I asked giving them all an irritated look to move or cower away for now. "Agent Barton dismissed you." They quietly stared at me not wanting to move. "DID YOU FUCKING NOT HEAR ME?" I yelled violently while Clint watched them all run for their lives as a smile crept onto his face. For some reason it felt . . . warm.

"You never seize to amaze me."

"Shut the hell up." I smiled.


	14. End

Ch.14 End

The past week flew by quickly by, like a hand grenade thrown in a hurricane, but for that past week Barton and I trained a small group of shitty junior agents who knew jack shit about SHIELD or anything about field experience. I swear all of them pissed me off. To help them in the field which will clearly bring them hell, if they're not careful, but I doubt it. It's much more than hell because you have all this stupid asses chasing you down and then they won't know where to go so yeah, they're pretty much fucked. There's always something out there that will probably cause them to fight each other, but for now I'm just glad we're done training these shitty agents. There slightly a bit better than they were before so it's okay for now. I hope.

As long as these idiots don't get killed either by the enemy or themselves, it's not my problem.

Agent Willingham, Colina, Todd, and Bailey had finally finished all their training from us, the only thing that waits for those juniors is their darkest fears in those assignments or possibly something else, like if one of them has a dark past and one does. I'm just not telling you who. There are many more things they'll probably face instead of just fear, but it's what they're all surrounded in and their will and maybe their strength will be the only thing that will help them get through most things. Now all they have to is survive.

At least that what I hope.

Please don't die, at least not alone.

Nothing will ever be the same, once you walk into that dangerous, violent field they'll come back with a completely different character. They're all different not just one, but one assignment can destroy what you've built up or what you've already become. It will all go downhill if they let something like that get in the way.

Who am I to tell?

I'm done training those jackasses.

"Congratulations, you have finished your training with us." I announced dryly. I did not want to be here and I can't believe I'm saying, but someone give me an assignment with Stark so I don't have to be stuck here. PLEASE, I'M BEGGING! THIS NEVER HAPPENS, SO PLEASE! Barton gave me a look of, _really, -that's- all -you -want -to -say_? That and I want to be with you and Stark on an assignment. Can you not feel the aura I'm letting off?

BARTON!

"Look," Barton interrupted my short speech about the agents. Thank God because I didn't know what else to say since that was one of the first times I've had to that. I was glad it hadn't gone downhill.

I'm still hoping it won't go downhill.

"What my partner is trying to say is don't get stupid in the field." He declared, firmly giving them all a pointed note to always have that message in embedded in their heads. SERIOUSLY, KEEP THAT THERE OR YOU'LL ALL DIE! "This is something you chose on your own accord, but the main one: **DON'T DIE**!" Barton stressed the words out a bit more than I would have expected. Once you've met someone new you _grow_ attached to _them_.

SHIELD taught us not to be attached.

And this idiot has grown attached.

Dear lord, this man drives me up a wall.

"There's nothing more we can teach you." I quickly added in a rough tone so they don't ask questions. "Hopefully this will be the only time we'll ever see you agents." I emphasized the end, no matter what we taught them they'll be terrified, if not maybe traumatized. The one to help them is Coulson because he's the best handler anyone will ever get.

If they can even get him, whatever their problem they might face we're hoping they'll be okay, but no one in this organization is okay, we're mostly bat shit insane.

"Before we all go." Willingham said, slowly in a low voice that seemed to scare him more than the other agents. And here I thought they wouldn't ask questions, just my freaking luck. "Can we see a fight between the two of you?" I stared at him in disbelief. Barton gave me a playful look, like he actually wouldn't have minded if we did, but I cannot believe this little shit wanted us to fight.

FOR WHAT FREAKING REASON?

"No." I answered instantly. The look on Barton's face slowly turned into a frown. I gave him a _do_-_you_-_really_-_want_-_to_-_test_-_me_ -_look_. "Do you want your ass rolled in a full body trash can or in a body bag?" I said dangerously with an evil twist in my words as he scoffed at me. Now they were really pushing it.

I was not joking.

"You're joking, right?" He questioned incredulously with a light chuckle in his question. His hands were quickly raised in the air with a defensive nature as he slowly backed away behind the other junior agents who were pushing him back to front.

I liked the ones who forcefully trying to get him to the front. Why couldn't you freaking idiots do this before when we asked?

"You should know by now that I don't joke." I steadily threatened while my partner beside me remained silent, watching the scene play out. Now he has me saying partner and its funny cause' I never say it to Tony.

That playboy would probably whine if I told him that.

_**WHOOSH**_!

"_**AAAHHH**_!" Agent Willingham flew down the halls of SHIELD in a full body trash can then a flight of stairs. The rest of them gave me a scared glance as they slowly backed away in horror as Barton began to laugh, hysterically.

Now this is who I am, an insane person of SHIELD with an assassin by my side who doesn't bother to care what I mostly do with them. I know he was enjoying that just as much as I would.

"Boo." The three dashed away from me before anything else would happen when I took a playful step forward, a fake angered look in my eyes.

That was actually kind of funny.

The laughing beside me had completely stopped as Barton walked around to the front to face me, directly. His face began to turn into a wall that I wouldn't be able to know which covers every aspect of personal questions that I'll ask, so why the sudden interest now? Everything changes when you or people want you to change, but the choices are yours to make. Some things you can't change we just have to live with it.

Yeah, I know, it's a pain in the ass.

"Do you have any information on how to regain you memories?" He steadily asked. I felt a steel wall coming down as well. I really didn't want to talk about that right now. He just killed our mood.

I remained quiet for a few seconds as I stared into the wall behind him burning a deep glare in it and cleared my mind of things that I don't want to be reminded of. I knew he wouldn't stop asking so I had to answer then said, "No, I haven't. The only certain way is for me to keep doing these assignments with you and Romanoff and Stark until then there's nothing for me." A dark tone filled my voice as I answered his question without trying to hide anything and for once I just might open up.

Maybe, I was still deciding.

"Why won't you let Stark help you?" HELL NO! I DO NOT WANT THAT ARROGANT ASSHOLE TO HELP ME! His tone is filled with more than just dread. His eyes lurked for answers to unravel. I just smiled with slight malice. I really want to beat your ass right now Clint Barton.

"Why should I let a billionaire-playboy help me?" I asked in the same tone as I took a step forward and he took a step behind. Now why are you doing this, Barton? I thought he wasn't scared of many things, I guess I was wrong.

I'm only seventeen. He shouldn't underestimate me.

Reminds me a lot of Tony Stark and I WANT THAT FUCKING THOUGHT OUT!

"Sooner or later you'll need his help." Barton warily proclaimed as we stood in the middle of the ring staring into each other's storming eyes wanting nothing more than to settle something right now.

"I don't need anyone." I growled a fierce look entered my eyes while I took a step forward, again. I wanted to harm him, but I couldn't find myself to actually do it.

I know the reason why.

Sometimes I just wish I could a little more than give off these annoyed stares.

"Agent Barton and Cruor." Maria Hill shouted from the door, her arms crossed over her chest. She had irritated look in her eyes that meant she was a little more than pissed which meant one of two things.

**ONE**: move your asses or you'll die by my hand.

**TWO**: Director Fury.

"What is it?" We said together in the same cold tone. I know our bodies wanted to make punching bags out of us while we deal with this. He had to just to freaking ask and questioned me about memories and I was the stupid ass that went along with answering.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

"Ember, you're going with Stark and Barton control Romanoff before she breaks SHEILD in two." She strictly demanded. Ah, now we know what happened to her. She was put on a shit mission and probably got herself injured then found herself in SHIELD medical.

YES, I GET A MISSION WITH STARK AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!

Another day of wasting my time with Tony Stark, but I hardly care at the moment and his assistant Virginia "Pepper" Potts who I don't mind. The day gradually grew longer because every second I glared at the clock and it wasn't going to make anything go faster or get me any where as a matter of fact, but if there are things people say there's more than just time, there's always gonna' be something getting in the way.

My life is considered a pendulum because of how much time ticks away for me to slowly restore my memories-if I even have any-and my life is hung on a thread that will eventually break and when it does everything will discharge like lighting which would leave me more of a broken mess than I already am.

If you try to fix something that's already broken you'd be better off leaving it untouched, seriously leave it untouched, otherwise you're wasting your damn time on something that can be used for something else. Once you have a taste of it you can't let go and you'll crave to have more than just a touch to fix it you'll have an obsession; a taste that you can't mend.

I really need to stop sounding like some crazed lunatic running on sentences that I don't give a shit about at this moment.

"Where the hell have you been for the past week?" I asked once I stood in front of Stark with Clint beside me who was supposed to take care of Natasha. He was like a freaking lost puppy.

Now this asshole wants to ignore me.

"Shouldn't you be with Red?" Stark ignored my question as he warily questioned Barton, a hint of a sly look in his eyes as he waved his brows.

I'm pretty sure Natasha is with Clint.

"Don't screw up." Barton declared when he pushed me towards the car and hid himself in a double meaning. What the hell just happened between these two? An uneasy glance appeared while he looked at Stark who quickly shrugged it off replacing it with a smirk that seemed to make Barton laugh internally. "Watch what you say."

"You're one to talk." I interrupted slipping my hands in my pockets matching his same smirk. Stark slightly pulled his glasses off and turned to me with his _you're_-_ joking_ gaze.

No, I was not joking.

"Don't blow anything up." Those were Barton's final words to me before I left with _him_. Oh, so now he was fine.

QUITE SWITCHING OFF YOUR DAMN EMOTIONS, BARTON!

IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING!

He stood there watching us leave until the car rounded near a corner and we disappeared. Things are never the way they seem. People hide secrets to protect the ones they love, but when those loved ones find out hell breaks loose in all directions then those very same people sink themselves in agony, like there's nothing they can do when they're gone.

Everything will eventually disappear, but some things never change.

That's kind of what we're hoping for, but some things are better off changing.

"Where were you for the past week?" I asked, again quietly looking dryly at the road ahead of me to avoid his wandering eyes. He was lingered around me, around my memories and I'm starting to wonder if it's a little more than that.

I just don't know.

"Are you finally interested in my help?" Stark wriggled his brows a smirk playing on his face. I sunk in the seat slipping away from his looks I can see on glass.

Maybe I don't want to be stuck on a mission with him yet.

AND I ASKED FOR THIS!

SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?

"Like hell I am." I growled under my breath slipping a little more. He sternly looked at me while he should be looking at the road.

"What you need is help." He suggested. I didn't need it since I already knew. I've known since day one and before you even met me so don't tell me what I need to hear.

"I need answers." I muttered, annoyed. I don't have an answer why I'm letting him know some things about me. All I know is that I am.

"Just let me do it." He demanded softly. "Please." His tone betrayed his voice a voice of pleading that took me a bit by surprise. Where was all of this coming from? How was he capable of knowing such emotions?

I guess he can be full of surprises as well.

"Will you stop asking questions?" I say in an equally pleading tone putting my head in my hands then I remembered I hardly got any rest so I'm gonna' try to get exactly that if I can since I'm in a car with him.

He'll probably keep me up instead.

He moved his gaze towards me while I kept my head in my hands. He has a ghost of a smile on his face and said with playboy mockery, "Only of you answer them." My brow twitched in annoyance.

This little shit is pushing me.

"You're a real royal pain in my ass." I say simply picking up my head so he can see how irritated I am. I lightly laughed as a contaminated smile crept its way onto my face.

OH, MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED!

I NEED TO GET AWAY, FAST!

"You're just as much." He whispered into thin air putting his eyes back on the straight road.

"Where do we begin?" I say as Stark took another glance at me through the mirror and gunned the car driving faster downs the streets breaking most of the traffic laws.

Maybe he will know a little more about me.

"Where life was at an end to you."


	15. Chapter 15

Ch.15 Plans

The two of us stood in the middle of the hallway in Stark's Tower where his assistant, Ms. Potts had been. She remained in her spot with her clipboard in her arms writing a few sentences that were probably still about me and Stark when we were at some park I can't seem to remember where we kinda' got into an argument and then the media came crashing down on us, like what the hell. Do they not have freaking life? She glared at her boss in frustration.

Well, at least he's not in trouble with me this time.

"Hey, Pepper." Stark greeted in a slow confused manor. She kept her deadly gaze on him. I sighed beside him getting ready to leave their "discussions." This is not something I want to be stuck in.

I was not going to be stuck in the middle of their shit argument.

"Out of all the people Fury could stick me with he put me with you, an egotistical jackass." I muttered dryly walking downstairs to his workshop. I don't know why I walking down, maybe because I wanted to check out what he's got down and maybe mess around hit little bots he's got helping him in any way he can, except I doubt that. They probably get in the way and I kinda' half to put his car keys back on the board.

I dug around in my pocket to get my phone out to play around with the control as I did a little configuration with it. Now I could get another screen on my phone with them, except this one had no volume, like my other and that one has static. I need to change it.

I wonder if he fixed the glass doors.

He's lazy to something like that and will probably get his bots to do it.

"What are you thinking?" She asked, incredulously. He moved around his living room gathering materials for later. I wonder what he's going to do with all of that, oh well.

"Hey, I'm thinking I'm busy with Ember and you're mad about something." He walked over to the kitchen to grab an apple and a pair of wired left by the microwave. He bit into the apple and turned around to see Pepper glaring at him in shock while stood there. "What?" Anymore of that attitude towards Pepper and he's sure to get his ass handed to him by her.

"Why did SHIELD really pick you, Tony?" Pepper slowly asked in a soft voice. The rage she had earlier disappeared from her completely taking in the way he works himself and probably the way he acts around her, but I know there's something much more than the heated looks he gives or the soft tone she takes with him.

IF YOU FREAKING LOVE HER DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT SO I DON'T HAVE TO SUFFICATE WITH THE SEXUAL TENSION!

Stark dropped the materials he gathered and set the apple on the counter. His eyes remained as soft as hers. He cares just as much as she cares about him, but he didn't want to worry her. I know that for a fact. He's so in love with. Why can't you do something, Tony? His sarcasm vanished and has a look of painful questions that haven't been answered, and statements that can be taken.

I wonder why he won't make a move.

"What do I think?" He sadly says to himself in a whisper a bit incredulously. "SHIELD is a complicated organization that the government doesn't know. They made their own system of laws. I think Fury wants me to know why her memories are erased, why she acts the way she does."

There's nothing perfect about us or the world, but that's what makes it such a damn beautiful place. There are things that make people, it doesn't matter what it is . . . all you want is to be noticed, that's pretty much all we want, if we can get it. If you're not noticed you'd be the greatest destruction of a target or organization that needs to take you out, well, and then you're more than screwed, you're fucked. It's not something we SHIELD agents do we build up all the rage then you'll explode later on. It doesn't make you patient, it makes you reckless.

So, the question was: what now?

"Ember. . ." Stark called once he reached the bottom of the steps and warily wandered around the room.

How long can I last in the field just to get it back? Is there anything else that matters? How long will the flame last . . .?

_Beep_.

Who could this be? It was probably them anyways.

His eyes turned to the screen where the "beep" was heard from. Stark calmly walked over to his screen and answered the incoming call from SHIELD. No privacy. I FUCKING KNEW IT! NOW LET ME GET MY DAMN ASSIGNEMNT. "Where is Ember Cruor?" Fury face appeared on the monitor. Anger rose from the man on the screen that clearly seemed a more than pissed. Stark just stared at him with, _what - the -hell -are -you -talking -about_? Look.

He raised an eye brow and spoke slowly to phrase his sentence carefully. ". . . _Gone_."

"You lost a seventeen year old agent with delicately high information about SHEILD?" He asked incredulously. He pinched the bridge of his nose shaking his head side to side thinking why he did he even let Stark take me.

"I just . . . misplaced her." I wanted to laugh knowing how he doesn't know how to explain this problem to the Director and now he's making a bunch of bullshit lies that I like.

"I'm not gone or misplaced." I appeared from the corner of the outside view on New York. "What do you want?" I turned to the large screen crossing my arms over my chest with a heated look in my eyes. I could practically feel Stark thank me for appearing when he didn't where I was.

I didn't know he had a landing to where you could see the skyline of New York. I just needed a place to breathe.

"Cruor, you've messed with my agents, caused us severe damage, chased by my two best assassins, managed to piss me off more than 'them' and him' and you have been wrecking havoc on base. Do you have a death wish?" Fury steadily finished with a heated glare in his one good eye. This guy scares me sometimes. The evil gaze he kept on me was infuriating, but I couldn't do anything which pisses me off. I began to grow irritated by his ridiculous checkups. I'M NOT A DAMN KID! It makes me want to burn a hole into the screen.

"Is there anything else you want to add on the list?" My brow twitched in annoyance when I asked blankly when he reprimanded me. "Where is this going?" That's all I want to know at this moment, except it was beginning to be another hell.

"This is going to stick in your head, anywhere you go Cruor it's your wake up call." He proclaimed in a dark tone. I'm still wondering when we're supposed to get out mission.

WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING SO DAMN LONG?

_Beep_.

I crossed my arms over my chest, again while Stark has his mouth slightly agape from our small conversation. How much time do I have left? One day there's going to be a day where things don't go as planned. They won't be able to see me anymore, they'll disappear. My life is something based on revenge with some emptiness that can consume me, but if there are people who really want to help me . . . I want them and I don't care if it may make me seem weak to my enemies.

If the tiniest bit of light can reach me in the darkness then that's great 'cause I'm gonna' need, but this also clouds my entire being, but I also want those difficult, persistent, people jumping into my life that want to make you a decent person then you'll have all you ever asked for. They'll be with you every step of the way and if you slowly let them crawl in, the feeling will never leave you because they're right beside you, never letting you suffer, again.

How long do I have before all this goes to shit?

"Cruor." Stark says in a steady tone that catches my attention quickly.

"Stark. . ." I say in the same equal tone. He quickly walked in my direction and pushed a chair in front of me.

"Sit." He gestured and pulled another chair for himself and sat at his desk playing with his little machines. "What's the last thing you remember before SHIELD, me, and _those_ two?" Stark's tone changed to one of cold emotions that held the smallest bit of worry.

I remained silent for a few moments considering his question. My gaze focused on the wall behind him burning a hole into the wall from just a deadly look. Nothing felt right, but if you kept telling yourself that it'll always be that way; you make it _that_ way. It will only change if you want it to.

"Before all of it, I hated my existence here on earth. I was alone, a shadow, ghost whatever you choose to call it. I don't care. I wanted to forget I ever existed. I wanted to end my life the moment I set foot on a landing from a high building. I just stood there staring at the lights below me then _he_ showed up and gave me a reason to live." I wished we could have actually done this in his car, but when he said that I closed my eyes and began to drift away in a good slumber, for once.

"Sounds about right." Stark mumbled under his breath. He played with a set of mechanical parts that belonged to his suit. It was the one from Columbia when I threatened to burn him that suit and when he made me crash his car to the side of the railing and almost fall into a lake. I HATE WATER! "Do you trust me?" He asked warily turning his determined gaze to mine.

I laughed darkly and gave him a dangerous glance. He didn't move from his spot so he just sat there staring right back at me with no hesitation. He's not fazed at all. "To put trust in an egotistical-playboy is to put trust in a system of codes." I say steadily with malice. Stark remained in his position as a smirk played across his features.

"Stubborn firecracker." Stark said aloud to annoy me and to draw my attention to himself. His smirk slowly disappeared when he had a relatively theory about me when he gives away the double meanings. "When you have no place left to go where do you run to? You won't trust anyone because you were never given the chance, let alone a real person and two master assassins who aren't the only ones who want in on your life." Stark quickly added having pain fill his entire stature, his eyes remained in pain and forced me to watch him and the bare the other type pain I give them. These sad looks he gives off don't fit him or his character. This was slightly starting to scare me because to be honest I never want to see that kind of look be in his eyes, ever again.

I drowned myself in my own assignments to get some information about them, in the end I found it difficult since you can't always get what you want while I let it eat away at me. There isn't a place where I belong so I lied to myself for a quarter of a time and ran off like a coward. "Don't get overdramatic." I say sternly as if I took his playfulness away when he frowned at me.

"Tell me your past?" He steadily said in a wary tone.

"There's nothing to tell." I proclaimed darkly. Trying to remember something you can't can cause a great deal of damage in your head because it's all you want to search for. I carry _that_ weighton my shoulders.

"Not your memories, Flare." Stark replied warily. "What happened when you joined SHIELD, before you met me?" He's back with the damn annoying nicknames.

Whatever.

"Barton and Romanoff were sent to kill me. I went on their radar the wrong way, but you already know that. My ledger is also dripping red. My life as an agent with them has turned to be something more than promises, but some can be broken. . ." I say in a slow dark tone glaring him dead in his eyes. He still wasn't fazed. What is wrong with you Tony Stark?

"But they can be remade." Stark warily stated as a glint of sadness passed through his eyes. STOP FREAKING DOING THAT, PLEASE! I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT, ESPECAILLY FROM SOMEONE LIKE YOU SO STOP! "Why don't we just stop here for today?" He suggested softly. Slight confusion was heard in his voice while he kept a warm gaze on me.

Could Stark be someone I can trust?

* * *

okay, first I want to say thanks for the people who are reading this and reviewing, but I won't be able to update in 2 weeks. I'm going on vacation! I really am SORRY for that! And SORRY because I'm not bringing my laptop! SO SORRY! Reviews are still loved!


	16. Chapter 16

Ch.16 London

The darkest days could be your darkest years in life along with the experiences you've been put through during your years at SHIELD, especially the field missions they put you on as you rid of the evil from the world and the handlers that keep you in line and put up with most of the shit and hell we give through, and then there's the Director who puts his agents in their place. As if he isn't scary enough. These are considered the darkest years of your life a never ending cycle until someone understands it or decides to embrace it, but most of the time we can mostly do, especially us is to keep moving in a forward motion, no sense in letting the emotions get in the way, right?

Now the four of us are standing in the Director's office, all with the same dry expressions on our faces, except his. He's always serious. Since when is he ever laid back? The question that kept popping up in mind was why the four of us have to go together on some assignment Stark and I could probably handle ourselves.

"You four are going to London." Fury turned around in his chair to face us, his one eye carefully watching us. It was kind of creepy. "You are to see Coulson. He'll give you the rest of the information." So what the hell was the point in all of this since he was basically telling us to see him? He gave us all a look of _if -you- screw –this- up -you're -dead_. "Don't screw up." Fury replied dangerously and pointed to the door. "And Cruor, Stark and Barton don't blow up any bridge or highway." A threat left his voice as we exit the office door.

We never catch a break.

"Dealing with a playboy is bad enough now I have you two." I muttered, irritated. Now they'll be a distraction and a dangerous waste of my time. I guess to them or mostly Barton, he thinks I've been given a second chance because he's the one who brought me in, but I really don't see what he means.

Maybe if I just opened my eyes and stop letting my emotions get in the way and let that door stay open. I still have doubts.

Maybe things will come around . . .

I'm just hoping I can cross that ocean.

"We can all have a bonding experience." Barton suggested sternly with confusion emitting from his voice with a hint of a wary tone. I turned around for one second sending a sharp glare having Stark snickering at my side. I rolled my eyes thinking they're both children.

How does Natasha deal with this kind of . . . thing?

"Tony, if you get in my way I'll will personally cut you up into tiny little pieces and sew you back together and do it again to hear you scream in agony." Natasha violently proclaimed a deadly intent filled the air around her as her aggressive aura began to scatter around the group.

Oh, so that's how she does it.

Do I really act like that towards to Stark?

If I asked him, I'd probably get some bullshit answer while he was also probably putting words in my mouth. I could somewhat see the signs, but I just wanted to get away because I didn't know if I could handle that kind of stress. Now I'm starting to wonder that everything I do is kind of without him. We did kind of talk about how got on SHIELD's radar, how Coulson was the first to approach me then they came and "got me" as I like to put it.

I feel like I'm standing on the edge of something I can't explain because when it rain it pours and I just let go. When the pressure breaks me, I see myself, again standing on the edge of it all this time. It makes me want to scream

I'm more screwed up than I thought.

Stark stared at her warily and was about to say a smart remark when he felt the cool metal reach the center of his face. This guy really wants to die by one of us, but it's gonna' be no matter. "Then don't get in my way." He says equally vehement. Why was getting like this? How did he even come to these kinds of emotions?

"Bonding experience my ass." I growled viciously under my breath wanting to slap a hand at them while Barton stood at the back of the group sighing in defeat as we reached Coulson's office.

Was this how we were going to enter?

Probably.

Oh, well, he can deal with that-he can deal with us until something very bad happens, but we hope it doesn't.

At least not yet.

He stood still watching the four us throw complaints at each other with a dry look on his face. He was not amused. It was actually kind of funny, if you think about it and I hardly and rarely find things funny. "Ember, don't burn the city down." I hear Stark add mischievously to me. I could feel his stupid smirk appear on his face before he looked into my eyes.

"Don't get in my way or I'll burn you too." I stopped, again turning around to put a rough touch on his shoulder, pushing him back slightly. He was still smirking and he was pissing me off. YOU FUCKING PLAYBOYS ARE ALL THE SAME!

"Can we all get along, please?" Barton pleaded, tiredly as he forced himself to drag his body to our handler's office. Oh, so now you want to be the freaking good guy in this place, seriously. Can everybody just stop for once switching characters and be ourselves?

GOD!

This is so damn annoying.

I already have to deal with Stark. What more do I have to put up with?

"You're supposed to be an assassin not a prissy little kid." Stark looked over to the tired archer with a playful expression crossing his eyes while Barton blankly stared at him and the man standing behind him. What the hell is wrong with us today?

We usually don't complain this much.

"Are you all done with your pointless complaints hidden in sarcastic comebacks?" Coulson asked steadily as we entered his office while he stood there probably for a good two or three minutes listening to us. I think he expected a bit more, but since this is sort of urgent, it was like a flood we can't swim in.

Well, we all have unexpected things to happen.

"Yes." The three exclaimed while I remained silent. I just wanted to get this over with to see if someone on this assignment knows about me or my memories. So everyone should stay quiet for a bit, please. It's all I ask for.

"Director Fury already told you where the four of you are headed. A man by the name Cole Exton has resurfaced London about two months ago." He steadily said, eyeing each of us with a quizzical look. "This man has been dealing with drug lords, smuggling weapons across the European boarder and almost destroyed London by a bomb. Briefly, Exton made contact with his associates about a drive on SHIELD. It's your job to get it back by all means." Coulson evenly said. He gave me a wary stare that seemed to irritate me. It made my blood boil to receive such a look from my handler, but I understood what it meant.

_**KILL COLE EXTON**_.

"What's on that drive?" Barton cautiously asked. His voice held authority as he took a step closer towards Coulson who remained calm. This was not good, especially the way he was getting at this very moment. He was getting to direct.

"Nothing for your eyes to see." He says a bit tightly as he gave us all a careful glance that held little _fear_. What is going on with him?

Now I want know what's on that drive.

"Whatever it is Coulson, spit it out." The archer violently demanded. The anger rose in his throat letting out the small frustration that began to build in his body, but the way he was acting was not the Clint "Hawkeye" Barton we all know.

What the hell . . .

"You're headed to Alexandria Palace." He proclaimed in an even tone, not giving us the chance to protest. It was probably better that way. "All of you get something nice to wear. Your flight leaves in an hour." Our handler ignored the unlikely question he started to ask. This man standing in front of me can't be my handler, the soft petty looks he gives us is more than fear, something that might vanish before his eyes, before he can get the chance to say goodbye.

PLEASE STOP WITH ALL THOSE LOOKS! I DON'T NEED ONE COMING FROM YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE MY HANDLER.

IF THIS WAS SOME SICK JOKE TO MAKE UNDERSTAND IT'S WORKING, BUT I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN SINCE YOU PULLED THIS SHIT OFF!

"Drop it, Barton." I say steady in a malicious view taking a step in front of him and Coulson. "You can deal with it later."

"Let it go Hawk-Boy." Stark added jokingly putting a smirk on his face. Was he trying to make this situation much worse than it already is? "Face it, it can't get any worse." Does he ever stop?

"Stop talking." Natasha piped in pulling him by the collar of his shirt. Thank you, Natasha, but why am I with Clint?

HE'S YOUR DAMN PARTNER!

WHAT? THAT MEANS I JUST CALLED TONY STARK MY PARTNER!

NO!

"You know if you wanted me you could have asked." He wiggled his brows while she threw him by a supply closet to have a bit of silence. She rolled her eyes and he wanted to pick up women like this, what the hell Stark. You know, I thought he was in love with Pepper. "Say something like that again and I'll make a target out of you." She violently whipped out her gun and pointed it to his family jewels that made him who he is. I had to hold in a light chuckle before I got some look from him or anybody else at the matter.

"Come on, Natasha." Barton interjected, softly. He put a firm hand on her gun bringing it down back at her side, a smile plastered on his face. Oh, great, now this guy is in love with his partner.

HOW IN THE HELL DID I GET SURROUNDED BY LOVE SICK PEOPLE?

"Dear lord." I muttered aggravated under my breath by the team I'm forced to work with. Well, Coulson always did have his ways to do strange things. "These are the people I'm assigned to. . ." I shook my head side to side in disbelief.

_Seven and a half hours later, _

The four us had walked into a hotel near the Alexandra Palace which is about 2.3 miles away from us. We're separated from the assassins that can kill any part of the billionaire I'm stuck with because this man doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut, even when he's told. You always have to use some sort of physical source.

"What do you think is on that flash drive?" Starks says, playing with his phone. He smiled warmly when he read a letter that was sent from his assistant probably telling him to be careful, if she knows we're in London. "Love you too, Pepper." He said warmly and then looked at me. I rolled my eyes thinking he's such a love sick puppy.

"Enough daydreaming about Pepper, please? It's a little too much." I muttered, slightly annoyed under my breath then said, "The flash drive? There's more than just the flash drive, Stark." I say steadily as Coulson's worried look flashed right through my mind. "Coulson." I whispered while a mystery is about to unravel itself soon. "What are you playing at?"

When things didn't make sense anymore, you can only make some problems like that make sense because no matter how difficult it is or how terrible it is to get past the trauma you'll have to work harder to get past those memories and find the answers you're looking for inside your head. They're mind games and you bring that on yourself, if you can't escape your own hell what makes you think you can escape everything else that crosses your path? It's like a mind so you can only hope someone can bring you to life before anything else can happen, but there's so much more ahead.

None of us will surrender quietly.

If you can't handle the pressure get your ass outta' the field and go sit at a desk filing paper work, but you know, sometimes I hate talking about it because sometimes it just won't light up. Sometimes you can't explain what happened.

All you know is that is just does.

And you can't help it.

We're worlds apart, but we're all the same, but like I said earlier we go away quietly so when you really get to see the real us we'll be your worst living hellish nightmare so get ready when we dive in. And there's another thing I said earlier, it's that we have to keep moving in a forward motion so we don't look back at the lies we've made in the past or the requests of wanting to be put in something like. Right now, for some unknown reason I think I have everything I need at the moment because I know there still out there somewhere, like a force that's pulling me closer, but there's something else. I just don't know what it is and it's quite annoying. You can't put out a fire until there's nothing left, at least that's what I was told when I first walked in here getting yelled at by Coulson like I was some child.

That was one of the best times I've actually had and felt in a very long time. When I first met him it was back on that edge of some building wondering if he was watching over me the entire time everything about me was crumbling down.

He was an asshole for letting me go through that kind of crap.

There's nothing that can take it away and if it somehow went away it'd be a miracle and it's not that difficult to overcome these seemingly ghastly thoughts what's hard is to decide if you want it gone.

"Tony?" Barton called from the entrance as Natasha carefully placed a white spread sheet that consisted of a map around the palace and placed it on the bed. And I thought they were in their room.

You never can be left alone.

"There's a thing called knocking. Try it some time." Stark dryly said, giving her a blank look. I rolled my eyes. He really is such a child. No wonder he gets in the way of everyone's lives.

"Shut it, Stark." I say steadily turning around to face him with a deadly glare in my eyes. I just want him to shut up for a little bit so we can at least focus on this assignment.

"You're hardly one to talk, Sparks." He said, incredulously. His comment was focused more on sarcasm and it made me want to hurt just a little more so he can get it through his playboy billionaire mind that I want him to shut the fuck up.

"Both of you shut it." Barton and Romanoff proclaimed simultaneously in the same pissed off tone. It slightly scared since Barton was a little more than pissed because of Coulson. Who knows what's really on that device. Right now I don't give a damn.

I want this over as quickly as possible.

"Touchy." Stark muttered a bit surprised. I swear I think sometimes he wants to get himself killed by one of us one day. He's just asking for it. I know that for a fact.

"Do you have a remark for everything?" I asked, irritated growling the phrase through tightly clenched teeth. I usually have things under control, but ever since I got stuck with him I can't seem to keep him or myself under control anymore. It got that much worse.

I don't know why.

All I know is that it just did.

I suppose its how life works, right?

"Do you have to have to open your mouth for everything?" He kept coming back with more of his stupid comebacks. I was that much closer of putting his ass on fire and I'm in live with actually doing it because it reminded me when he chased after me in the park then I sparked a small flame. One assassin beside us gave us a strange look while Natasha had enough of our ridiculous bickering.

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

Natasha whipped out her gun from her holster and shot the ceiling above our heads to get our attention either back on this mission or on her. Sometimes I think she really might shoot me. Her vicious attitude towards us made her lose her temper quickly, but as long as Barton is near her she can remain somewhat calm. I hope. There are times when it's not possible if you really are that calm or patient, but you're breaking all the negativity inside and later on someone will push you far enough and you'll explode all the information you've kept inside. If you ask me it's ignorance that keeps us at bay.

_Buzz_.

_Buzz_.

The phone on the lamp side had started to ring while we're in the middle of an argument that really had no meaning, so what exactly did happen? We left it to ring to start out a plan, but the phone would not stop ringing.

_Buzz_.

_Buzz_.

_Buzz_.

"WHAT?" I angrily picked up the phone with a seething tone when that was the first thing Coulson heard on the other line. Shit.

Now what did he want?

"Watch who you're responding to, Cruor." Coulson firmly responded, annoyed at the stubbornness from all of us to let the phone ring for several seconds. Barton, Romanoff and Stark all gave me a wary look wondering what the hell he was doing or saying. They can wait till I'm done. They're trained agents, well, except Tony Stark.

"Why are you calling?" I suddenly say to get straight to the point which could either help or hurt our team. Oh, so now I'm calling us three a freaking team, now. My God, I feel like I'm standing way over the edge of it all this time.

"First, get out of the room." My handler steadily demanded. I give the rest of the team a dry look as I walked out the door to find the real reason he called then slipped a micro sensor chip at the other side of the door just in case they something I'm not supposed to hear.

Everything is always about trust.

"What it is?" I demanded in the same tone he had a moment ago, stepping away from the door to make sure Stark doesn't do something stupid. "You shouldn't even be calling." I whispered into thin air looking left and right making sure no one was around. It was all clear.

"I'm calling for a reason." Coulson says carefully. Stress rises in his voice. Clearly, like I freaking didn't know that already. What kind of person does he take me for? You know, I'd prefer he wouldn't ask that, though he probably already knows himself.

"You should get more sleep." I added after a short moment of silence. This conversation was going nowhere, but you after I said that line I seem to keep doing that so I just have get in the way before that door keeps closing.

". . . I shouldn't have to tell you to be careful, but I am and make sure Stark stays away from the drive." He declared snapping back to being my handler, the one I know so well, the one who cuffed me before back on the ledge. I sighed, tiredly.

I'm getting a freaking headache from all this shit.

There isn't any reason arguing and there was no point. We're here for that. "What is on that drive?" I asked warily getting a few seconds of silence on the phone which annoyed me. Coulson has his reasons to keep our eyes shut away from it because sometimes we might not like the answer we get.

"If you hack that drive I will make your life a living repeating hell." He bitingly declared through clenched teeth. So how many times does he have to tell us before we actually do exactly that? "Your objective is the flash drive-in and out. Be ready for the worst assignment, _Ember_." Coulson then softly said towards the end of the message. If a warning call gets my handler this scared and worried, what exactly is in store for us, especially in that drive?

"Is everything all right?" Stark genuinely asked when I entered the room with an angered expression plastered on my face. Then is slowly begun to disappear because for an unknown reason I feel like I kind of belong here, with them . . .

"For now," I whispered warily more to myself than the others. It was more for my sake, just like it always is. "For now we're all right."

Yeah, for now we'll all have to keep moving in that forward motion, get in the way to cross that ocean.

* * *

Ok so I was on vacation for about two weeks and I couldn't post any chapters I wanted because I didn't bring my laptop along so sorry about that and thing was when I got back home there was a really bad thunder storm and it cut off all my TV's, my plugins for the computer which left me with no freaking internet for three weeks. I want to apologize for the long wait. SORRY!


	17. Chapter 17

Ch.17 PARTY

People who get caught in things, their own lives tend to make it worse for themselves and everyone involved with that person. They get lost and they're cut off from the rest of the world. They get tossed around like a stone. They're left in millions pieces they can't pick up. It's sad and seemingly weaker than they admit. And I got a problem when things get a little too cold I burn whatever's in my path just to get things back on down on earth and I'll take higher and higher till there's no room left to breathe.

If you think about it everything is lighting up.

There's always this little taunting noise that comes around every time I take an assignment, but you know what, I have to open up my mind just to make sure it's not there so that I can actually concentrate on this. It kinda' feels like I've been brought back to life, slightly because I'm put through hell with Stark. What can you do? It's like a hurricane when you have to put with his ridiculousness as well as Barton's.

Seriously, what can you do?

We just have to stay around, but the question was: did I want to stick around?

Now that the tension sort of settled in the room, we all stare at each other with the same confused look. We're still trying to figure on what the hell this guy looks like because SHIELD apparently forgot to mention we don't have a fucking ID on this man. And now we probably have to do some dramatic shit to bring him out.

"We don't have identification on this guy" I slowly start to say, all steady eyes on me It was kind of creeping me out. "How can we possibly find him?" I asked, incredulously doing the same thing they're doing to me. Yeah, I can stare back just as creepy.

"There's going to be security at every open window. . ." Barton started to speak and towards the end grew confused at his choice of words, like he was trying to figure something out, but he couldn't get a grasp on what it is. Well, we can't always make the words out we want so . . .

"We need a distraction." I continued, impatiently with an aggravated demeanor. I knew exactly who was perfect that role. I rolled my eyes.

This is going to be a long night.

"Stark will be our distraction." Natasha proclaimed in finality, warily eyeing the billionaire who has a shit eating grin spreading across his face. Great. "Barton is our eyes." She declared. Barton and Stark gave us a wary stare thinking what we're going to do and then she said this, "Cruor and I will find the drive." She calmly proclaimed. They way she said made them have their mouths shut because she was not going to deal with whatever they're feeling right now in this moment.

Whatever is hidden on that drive that has Coulson worried about will make him lie on his death bed if he doesn't find a way to calm down and Barton and I know the most since he's been like that before, except this time it's much worse. It's like he's losing himself in something he can't go back on so whatever that drive has it better be something he can actually handle if we go through it, but if he died like that worrying, he'd better make sure to send a new handler that was just line. For some unknown reason I want that man as my handler

. . . No one else.

The more he reveled on the drive, the less I like about it. It seems like a suicidal mission, leaving us empty, but we have to fight and if we don't it'll be the death of us. We don't run and we don't cower, we fight the fire that consumes us and we walk out the flames: bloody and bruised to the bone. Never let things get in the way or owning who you are, no matter how bad the ledger is dripping red, no matter how many lives someone's taken, no matter what hell we go through, no matter what shit assignment we get, we're still together and apparently I'm still with them.

I know I can't give up on something like this. It seems like I'm driven to get that damn drive. I feel as if I need it, and Coulson's orders about soon to be broken. You can't always obey every order. Some are meant to be broken.

Those are my rules I follow.

Barton silently stared at me while Stark gave him a reassuring glance as he took Romanoff gently by the arm and walked out the door to their room for the last couple of hours together before the gala tonight.

Oh, this is going to be hell . . .

"All right Sparks, bonding time." Stark mumbled playing with his phone, once again while he hooked up wires to a data based computer putting a holographic image of London across the wall. "If you're as smart as your files say you're about to walk me through on what you would do." He steadily said looking at the wall making sure everything seemed all right.

"Where did you get this?" I slowly asked, inching closer amazed by it. I hate how he worked like this because I feel so drawn to it. This is was completely different map from Romanoff's discretion. A smirk crawled its way on his facial features. He knew I liked it very much.

"SHIELD had it. I hacked it." He said, dryly, but the smirk was still there. He may be an arrogant ass, but for some reason I liked this side of him, well, at least when his ego doesn't get in the way.

"It's encrypted." I muttered, aloud taking another drawing step forward. I looked closely at the coded mess around the wall. The way everything lined up on the map led to other directions Exton might use as an escape then I realized it wasn't what I thought it was and said, "This isn't a code." I warily proclaimed. Stark gave me another grin. "It's another map."

"The question is why a map?" He says in confusion tapping a finger on his chin. He placed his phone beside him on the bed while he kept watching me sort this out.

I think I hate him more than before.

"It doesn't matter if it's another map or not. . ." I firmly stated as I watched a list of street roads descend on the side. It stopped while I was getting a good look at the list making sure there wasn't anything wrong. "Hold on, go to Saint Terrance."

There are more than encrypted maps. This entire mission will go to hell if we don't stop Exton. This man is more than dangerous, though we don't have facial recognition we need to take him out, no matter what Coulson ordered. "Sparks?" Stark called to me, warily and put a calm hand on my shoulder while I kept staring at the map surrounding the room.

I feel like I've been there before.

I don't know from what.

"Those are old subways used somewhere in between the sixteen hundreds to seventeen hundreds, maybe more." I concealed dark thoughts running through my head so I can let myself concentrate on this shit. The many possible ways Exton's killed people while using these underground subways to end their lives.

Why was someone like him around?

Why didn't SHIELD kill him the moment they found out about his wicked ideas?

Every second the clock ticked, waiting for this mission to come to an end, the harder it is to breathe. Later on, it makes me feel alive because I just might find the information I'm searching for. People who haven't woken up to the real world have a lot more than just realization it'll. We have restrictions to follow, but I can't let that get in the way because there is something more important than that and it's finding the answers to who I really am.

"Stark, get ready for one of the best parties you'll ever have." I say darkly with a malicious glint coming to judgment, a sly small smirk coming across my face. I glanced at the clock on the bedside and sighed. "We have six hours to waste. What now?"

"There's always Barton and Romanoff." He suggested wiggling his brows to fix the light tension that started to form when the encrypted map filled the wall.

"Your death wish." I said dryly sighing under my breath. He can be a real hand full.

Probably more to Pepper since she's known him for what, twelve years?

I'm wondering if it was actually a little longer than just twelve years.

"Or you could go sightseeing with the great Tony Stark." A smirk appeared as he kept attempting to fix _this_ mood.

"I liked the first option better." I mumbled. He gave me a bored stare that held annoyance. "Third option." I demanded.

"Shut up, listen to others, and let me help you." Stark darkly proclaimed. Why do you keep acting this way every time I don't want you to? I clenched my fists at my side as I held in my anger. This guy really wants to die.

"What's going on with you and your assistant?" I suddenly said because I really did not want to be with Barton and Romanoff. The quick change in my tone sent another glare in my direction. He quickly let it pass by as joy filled his eyes.

Great, what did I get myself into?

"Pepper?" He says a bit in disbelief probably since I don't ever ask about her or talked to him, except that one time in his car when I thought I was supposed to get my assignment. I didn't. SHIELD made me wait another day.

"She seems to keep you on a leash." I smiled lightly _only_ for his eyes to see. I'm starting to like him, a little bit. This time I won't deny it. If he keeps getting in the way than I'll definitely hate him more than he wants, more than I think I can.

"She's been my P.A for twelve years. Pepper is one of the best things that happened to me." The way this man speaks about her is like a having a conversation with child. I can see the way he cares about her, though it'd a bit odd. He's so in love with her. The genuine tone he has was rare to hear because he hides himself in that alter ego. "Why the sudden interest?" He suddenly asked. He kept smiling.

I shrugged my shoulders without having to realize I'm not control of this situation. It was kind of nice to not be in control, for once. "It must be nice to have someone care about who you truly are." I whispered in a low tone, burning a hole in the wall behind his head.

_Six hours later, _

The four of us entered the Alexandra Palace at different entrances each of us connected to a com link, yet here we are standing beside each other with the same concentrated gleams staying in our eyes. "This place is puny compared to SHIELD head quarters." Barton whispered into his drink. He continued to search the crowd. The rest of us were slightly laid back for the moment letting the other people surround us so we don't seem so suspicious.

"You shouldn't be talking about the mission even if it's below a whisper." Natasha proclaimed firmly giving him a sharp. He grinned. She rolled her eyes. _Typical_. I thought and then Stark made his move.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!" He shouted in excitement as the pedestrians turned their gazes towards a grinning and overly joyous billionaire named Tony Stark. When did he leave our side? Sure, when he doesn't want to get caught by us he can do this. What kind of shit are you trying to pull?

"Doesn't he know what under cover means?" Barton mumbled annoyingly under his breath when he went to another swing of his alcoholic drink feeling the intoxication burn his throat. Romanoff smirked at her partner.

"It's his part." She innocently said, a smile falling on her lips. Barton, first smile at her then turned his head around to see Stark doing what he does best. And I did the same, though I felt like I was being hung by a rope.

_ACTING_. . .

"No." I say dryly. "He just likes the attention." I shook my head in disbelief. A waiter passed by us with a tray in hand serving wine and took one taking a quick sip so I don't have to remember this night.

"I'M-WELL YOU KNOW WHO I AM!" Stark gestured towards the left side of the entrance by Barton. He remained silent watching Stark toy with their minds. "LOOK OVER THERE LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!"

"What the hell is he doing?" The archer next to me crossed his arms leaning against the column and kept watching Tony yell. He had a wary gleam fall in his eyes as turned his head towards me wondering why Coulson did put me with him. Well, hello, it was you fucking idea too.

"What he's doing best." I sternly stated looking for an opening that may lead us to Exton. "Keep scanning the crowd, Barton and give me a visual on who might be Exton." I demanded while Stark kept the crowd's attention with his . . . whatever he's doing.

"THIS IS A PALACE PEOPLE!" He shouted a bit angrily. That was it. I downed the rest of the wine getting a cautious glance from Barton.

Pay attention to the crowd Hawkeye.

He's kinda' got a cool code name.

He had most of the attention from the people, except for several others standing at the scattered exits. If he can't draw out Exton like this the rest of us will have to improvise with shit acting because that's how we do things by doing exactly that. "I'M LOOKING FOR A MAN NAMED, COLE EXTON!" Well, that was one way of getting our guy. The crowd went deathly silent.

Oh, shit.

"What the hell are you doing, Tony." The archer angrily said on the other line pushing his back off the column with a heated look in his eyes. Stark didn't look at us while he let the crowd remain silent. Why were they like that? How bad is this guy?

Ahh, why the hell do we always get jobs like these to handle? What kind of shit do we have to go through now?

"Shut up and let me do my job." I see him whisper into the com link. He searched the crowd for the one calm, silent and deadly man among them. Come on and just show your damn face already so I can kill you. It shouldn't be that hard.

COME ON, COLE EXTON!

"What do you want?" A man in a tuxedo started to walk on stage with a big smile plastered on his face. It was forced and I did not like the way this was going at all or imagined this was how it was going to turn out. Now all I'm actually worrying about is Tony Stark because he can't just disappear on Pepper or . . . . . . me.

AHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS SO WRONG WITH ME?

WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

WHY IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING?

"Finally, you come out of the shadows, Cole." Stark lightly clarified with a dark smirk on his face putting an arm around the man's shoulder and walked away from the crowd. "Let's make a deal."

"YOU IDIOT!" Natasha and I yelled in the com link, loudly. He quickly put his hand to his ear from the loud frequency almost missing a step down the small set of stairs.

Now I think he just blew our cover.

"Are you all right, Mr. Stark?" Exton genuinely asked. Was every criminal man like this nice when they first run into a billionaire? He put a different character up to keep his secrets locked up inside of his conscience protecting what's important to him.

"Y-Yeah, just a bit too loud." He pointed to the orchestra that began to play music the moment he commented on it and quickly ripped the com link out of his ear slipping it into on the waiter's trays when they brought it around for drinks.

He's such a lucky bastard.

"Now what is he doing?" Barton continued to ask himself all the unanswered questions he keeps saying aloud. He kept his eyes on the pair and gave us a command, "Go and get the drive." Barton immediately demanded in a low tone. "I'll keep you posted."

"Already on the way." Natasha and I said together as we were walking away from the entire madness Tony had started.

Part of this plan has been a bit too easy, especially finding Cole Exton in the palace, now Natasha and I wander around this immense palace to any room that could lead us to the drive, wherever the hell that thing is. The chance of finding it in a room and being with Exton is a like a fifty-fifty percent chance. If he ends up having the drive he'll have more information than he'll need.

There's a fork in the road, but it's your choice whether you want to choose a right path and when there's something like _that_ there is no right or wrong path. You make those decisions to either make them right or wrong and now's the time to choose the _paths_ you have to take.

No matter how weird it may seem at first.

"Romanoff?" I steadily called out. She stood beside me staring at the separation ahead. She irritably growled under her breath and went left before she answered me. Seriously? "I guess I'll take the right." I muttered, running down the right aisle while Barton remained quiet on the other side of the com link.

I wonder what Stark is doing now?

Hopefully not dying.

"Exton and Stark are heading outside in your direction. Move faster." Barton declared through tightly clenched teeth. He didn't have time to make a plan and ran in the other direction as I heard his footsteps resound in the com link.

_**BAM**_!

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" He warily yelled into the com putting a hand to his ear to shut some of the noise off. He wanted to curse, again, but he had to keep moving so can he can catch or help Stark in case he got into too much trouble.

I swear he's always in trouble.

"Kicked a door down." I looked carefully around the dark room where my only light is the moon's reflections bouncing off other adamant objects. "I think I found his room."

_**BAM**_!

"WILL YOU TWO STOP DOING THAT?" Barton screamed in a demanding annoyed tone when he heard another kick. He continued to run outside trying to find Exton and Stark who wandered off behind the palace in the dark cold brewing night.

"Exton has enough ammunition to make an army." Natasha whispered, slightly impressed while she warily searched the weapons room. She vehemently smiled at a pair of throwing knives and took them as back up.

_RIP_!

"THIS IS WHY I FUCKING HATE DRESSES!" I yelled when my side hit on a sharp edge around a table with a lit computer. The pain staggered its way all the way down to my legs.

"You should be more care, Flare." Barton lightly laughed during a dangerous situation like this. He's being reckless and needs to make up a lie to fix up a mistake.

CAN YOU PEOPLE FUCKING JUST FOCUS FOR ONE DAMN TIME?

"SHUT UP!" Natasha violently whispered in the com. I stayed silent while looking over at the computer data information.

"Flare." He didn't listen to the advice Romanoff had gave to us. A hint of confusion entered his voice when I didn't respond. My eyes are trapped on the information displayed on the screen.

"Shit." I growled, calmly when realization struck me. "Barton, find Stark." I furiously slammed the screen down and dashed out the room to find my other _babysitter_ and sort of _handler_. What the hell was going on? Why was that there and how did he get that? Even I can't get that far in their files.

So how?

"Flare. . ." He called out my nickname once more in a wary tone. His voice still contained of confusion. This time I didn't care about the nicknames, I didn't care what was happening with him, I didn't care where we were all I cared about is this very moment is Tony Stark and Exton Cole. Then I heard him yell in a bit of rage, "FLARE!"


	18. Chapter 18

Ch.18 DISASTER

"Y . . . OU BASTARD!" Stark furiously yelled as heard him aggressively pin Cole Exton to the brick palace wall, but some of the sounds were static. Piece of shit com link. "SHE'S . . . JUS. . . KID!" He violently shoved him against the wall, again, except with more brutal force. "SHE . . . AD. . . AMILY . . . ND YOU OR . . . EVER TOOK . . . WAY . . . HER!" I can hear him smack his fists into his fist while he yelled at him while I was trying to decode all this shit that was happening. When Stark was doing I knew his knuckles were going to be completely stained with blood.

Someone like him shouldn't.

He'll know why I never wanted him around in the first place and yet I somewhat wanted him around.

Exton maliciously laughed at him at his choice of words while Stark continued to slam a fist to his face. What the hell is wrong with this guy? "Your little friend is much more than a kid. She's the best test subject we've ever had. All her bloodshed has greatly increased _their_ power." A sick-wicked smirk is displayed on his bloody-bruised face. An immoral laugh erupted and froze Stark in place.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Now what? He furiously smacked the man in the chest as his head violently went downward and slammed another blow to the side of his face, his skull smashing into the brick wall behind him. Stark was about to repeat the same process again, but stopped his rage when he was halfway to his bloodstained-horrified-gory frame. He let out a long breath, let his hands free from the grasp he had on his shirt and put a hand through his hair. "FUCK!" Stark screamed uncontrollably. A whimper came out his mouth because for once he felt more than scared.

This was something new. I didn't know he had it in him to do something like that, but it should never be for someone like him. It's way too much for him to handle, at least that's what I think.

It shouldn't be him.

"STARK!" I hear Barton say in a wary tone when he reached him, his breath catching up with him. He had been pacing around near Exton who lays unconscious by the brick walls. I just want to kill that man with every bit of violence I have. I want to see him suffer.

"What's going on?" Barton cautiously stared at Stark while he kept pacing around and registering all the information from before and now. "Why is Exton unconscious?" Did he not fucking hear the conversation going in the com link?

"Where the hell are you two? You better find a car." Natasha ran down the hall with three of Cole Exton's men behind her firing shots at her.

_**BANG**_!

"Was that a gun shot?" Barton frantically yelled turning around for just one second so he could scream at his partner who probably as always wants to escape from a shit mission like this. I just want to kill that man and have a hard, rough conversation with Tony Stark.

He has answers I need.

That's what I've been looking for, for most of life and that asshole has been keeping them from me and to think I kinda' trusted him.

YOU REALLY ARE AN ASSHOLE, STARK!

"FIND A CAR!" Natasha screamed in an annoyed tone and swiftly turned around facing his assailants firing her gun as a war of bullets started to rage on in the middle of the dark hallway. Why do we always get gunned down by men each time we go undercover, seriously? It's fucking annoying.

"EMBER!" Barton hastily yelled as he jerked Stark's arm running to a parking lot, away from all the madness that's already beginning to surround us, but sometimes the chaos can be quite silent.

"I'M FINE!" I ran past a set of his men, swiftly taking a side step when one of his goons almost slashed my rib cage. Then they pulled out their guns firing their weapons toward me. These people make me want to burn them alive, but I can't because this entire palace will fall. "NOW THESE IDIOTS PULL THEIR DAMN GUNS OUT!"

An alarm rang throughout the entire palace as the fours us tried to escape from the goons who follow Cole Exton every command, like a dog with no values. The raging crowd in the hall blocked the entrance to my escape and it irritated me as I lost focus on the most trivial things, especially during all of this. My ears feel like their bleeding from the ear splitting alarm later becoming a distraction and it'll piss me off even more when I see _him_ again.

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

You know, when I first met Stark I thought maybe it would be okay for me to just once let go of all the hell I've been through, but I learned you can never truly let go of the things you do unless you see them for yourself, unless you make them disappear. I used to dream that I'd get them back, now I don't know anymore because everything is so fucked up, no matter what I do. WHY THE HELL WAS I EVEN PUT IN THIS WORLD?

WHY _**ME**_?

The goons fired their guns, once more as their bullets barely grazed my sides. I slightly grunted in pain wiping away my dripping blood from my cheek and my rib feeling the material on my hands. "Barton, do you have Stark?" I yelled breathlessly trying to find an easier route out of this palace.

"Yeah, he's more than pissed." While I run down the hall, away from the men behind me who keep yelling inconsiderable things, I see them through a window as he took a wary glance at the billionaire as they stopped in the middle of the parking lot across the palace. "Bad news: no more vehicles."

FUCK!

"BARTON!" I hear Romanoff shout as she approached them in front of the two in a half ripped dress, her hair covering parts of her face while Barton was staring at her with a slightly shocked look in his eyes, but I knew it was much more than that.

Yeah, I agree. I fucking hate dresses too.

"Natasha?" He says incredulously taking a cautious step forward. "What the hell happened to you?" Now he looked confused, still holding that shocked look in his eyes. She rolled her eyes knowing there's a little more to that question. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and put her in a room somewhere.

"Nothing." She dryly said pulling both men away from the parking lot.

_**CLANK**_!

All three quickly turned around to see multiple pieces of shattered glass fall to its descent on the gravel as I leaped out of the window with gun shots still being fired behind me. I could some of the shards fall on my arms as I wrapped them around my head. "EMBER!" I hear Stark scream at the top of his lungs until it burned his insides. DAMN! I peeked through my arms seeing him frantically run in my direction. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" He kept anxiously screaming stupid questions and stopped dead center cautiously starring at my descent.

The fast stream of wind coming into me felt great because I felt like I could actually do something more with my life and I know it sounds weird, but just doing that made me think how really fucked up my life is and now I want nothing more than to find my memories and scream the hell out at Stark.

_**CRASH**_!

"ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE?" Stark shouted kneeling down to my level and helped me to my feet which I don't need. I want to strangle this man who thought he could help me by keeping freaking secrets about my life.

"If you don't shut up right this instant I promise you I will burn your mother fucking mouth off." I vehemently hissed under my breath with an undisclosed desire to do intentional harm. He froze and starred at me searching for answers that might pass through my eyes and Stark found none.

This guy didn't know what was coming to him.

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

Another group of Exton's men arrived at our location half way between the streets and the parking lot with a war of raging bullets bouncing off in every direction. I quickly jumped to my feet having the playboy follow suit-I don't know why I was even helping him when I just found what he did-while Barton and Romanoff disappeared from our sights. Stark jerked my arm a bit forceful as we hid by stone wall on the outside of a random abandon building. I was grateful he had done that, now we have more time to discuss these _problematic_ _situations_ that always happens on SHIELD's shitty missions.

There's more than just time when we get these kinds of assignments. Our lives are always put on the line, but I only put my life on the line because I need the answers to my memories. Am I able to control what can't? Can I trust them? When the field somehow gets too much to handle, like this very mission then there's nothing we can do until they come back. Do I even deserve to trust them, _him_? How long will it last until one of us is betrayed?

I can't exactly take this anymore.

I feel like I'm going to break soon.

"When we get back to the hotel I am going to kick you're sorry ass." I whispered, viciously holding violently on Stark's collar glaring death into him pushing his back on the stone wall as he stared into my brown storming eyes.

"How did this become about me?" He asked incredulously slapping my hands off and he better be glad I sort of let him, otherwise I don't think I could've stopped myself if I did something to him. This guy never learned to stop. He always pushes me over the freaking edge of my emotions.

"EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS ABOUT _YOU_!" I tightly shouted at him, brutally pushing his back further into the wall when my hands went back to his collared shirt. He clearly didn't see the harm I'm capable of applying. He just let me use him, like a puppet and it bothered me because he could have turned the situation around.

What is he thinking about now?

"NO, IT'S _NOT_!" Stark finally decided to speak, to say something to defend himself. He then quickly put his hands over mine and held them above my head as he forcefully switched our positions. Why the hell does he make so frustrated? I hate it. I HATE HIM! FUCK! "IT'S ABOUT _**YOU**_! _**YOU**_ WANT ANSWERS! I WANT YOU TO FUCKING LET ME IN!" He slightly shook my body vigorously as if he wanted to get through me.

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

"WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS LATER!" Stark released his iron grip roughly letting me go. I maliciously glared him in the eyes for a short moment then struck the side of his cheek. He didn't say anything and just stared at me with a look I can't describe.

YOU ARE SO FRUSTRATING!

"DONE DEAL!" I was a bit glad he didn't ask why I punched him then it came to mind that he knew I needed to hit something. I wish he would stop acting like this where he lets me use him for my own good. WHO THE HELL DOES THAT? We dashed away from the goons, rapidly shooting at us as we dodged oncoming cars that beeped their horns. I wanted to burn everything in my path from the overload of information I found. It made hell rise from the eruptions of my flames and I can't wait to cause a little damage to Stark.

"YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE ABILITIES THAT CAN SAVE US BOTH!" He proclaimed quickly turning around to face one of the gun men aiming to kill us. I was so close to just shoving his body in their way so I could see him die, but something was pulling me back. I was also a bit grateful for that too.

"YOU'RE A GENUIS-PLAYBOY-BILLIONAIRE-PHILANTHROPIST, _YOU_ DO SOMETHING!" I yelled a bit late as he swiftly turned around and kicked one of the men in the chest, strongly and rapidly stole a gun from the air and fired it without hesitation.

Damn, he was kinda' good.

Why the hell am I even praising him?

"YOU TWO FREAKING IDIOTS!" We both heard a woman yell in irritation from the inside of a bus filled with civilians. "ASSES IN THE BUS NOW!" Natasha furiously growled as we ran into the vehicle receiving calm glances from . . . passengers.

As Barton was behind the wheel driving us away from the effing disaster from this crappy assignment that's about to strike us all down, I quickly walked to the back of the bus as I saw five cars belonging to Exton began to pursue us. We carefully had to watch out for these weak people who get caught up in our mess of a shitty mission.

WHY IN THE HELL WOULD THEY TAKE A BUS FILLED WITH PASSAGNERS?

"STARK!" Barton forcefully shoved his body down on the drivers' seat. He moved to the back of the bus and slammed the back of his bows into the glass window beside me shattering it to pieces. "Why do we always get chased by cars?" He muttered irritated by everything that's happened.

Well, I'm a little more irritated.

I'm even beyond pissed.

"ARE YOU INSANE?" I shouted in anger feeling the forceful winds flow in the bus. The people calmly watched us argue about the situation. "WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY'LL PULL THEIR GUNS OUT?"

"Flare, you're exploding at a time like this?" I hear Stark say in disbelief. Was he enjoying this? That little shit is actually enjoying this. He turned around and faced me with a hungry, malicious gleam in my fiery eyes.

"You're making jokes at a time like this." I completely hate his attitude, always wanting to be fucking center of attention. I violently grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and began to yell furious words at him while the bus started to drift off course when his hands came off the wheel and slowed down on the road. He was about to the same thing until Barton yelled.

"SHUT UP AND STOP YELLING!" The passengers on the vehicle angrily shouted at us. "KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" They kept shouting. I rolled my eyes. Stark took one more steady glare and dangerously slammed his foot on the gas pedal flouring the bus back on course for one second then quickly jerked my arm and pulled me by Barton.

"Do you have a pull rope?" He steadily asked in slightly fierce tone, looking between us and the cars closing in on us. He warily watched his brown eyes searching for any fault and reluctantly found none.

"Yeah, it's in my back pocket." Barton steadily said in a slow calm tone then aimed his bow toward the broken wind shield and one of the black cars.

_**BOOM**_!

A heavy explosion erupted from the car as mechanical parts flew into the air, the road, ashes filling the darkened sky, and Stark reached for the rope from his back pocket and strapped one end to the side of my pants and one to Barton's side. I quickly shot my head up to meet him with a devious smirk across his lips. He's beginning to lose his right mind from the issues surrounding us and I'm still going to kick his ass. The grin still there bothered me as he shoved me out the broken window onto one of Cole Exton's car.

I feel the harsh cold air slice my face as I came in contact with my warm new injuries slithering around my entire waist. FUCK YOU, TONY STARK. My hands feel numb as the coldness erupting from the hood of the car froze them. I glared daggers at the billionaire-playboy who just threw me out fucking the window of a moving bus.

I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO FREAKING KILL YOU!

"TONY STARK!" I screamed until I had no more oxygen left in my system. My lungs burned the sides of my ribs. I fell to the side and glared at the sky for one agonizing second then dodged bullets the second I heard the guns go off, swiftly moving my body around the hood avoiding all this shit. This is such a pain in my ass.

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

I quickly moved to my side as one of the men in the car shot the hood, again. I clenched my teeth in irritation as I slid to the right side of the car and slammed a strong kick to the window smashing the glass as I caught one man off guard while I swiftly jumped in and tried to strangle the man with the wire rope while the driver turned his attention to me. His forceful slam from the side of the gun connected to my right cheek. I lost my grip on the wire around the man's neck.

"FUCK!" I growled in pain, spitting a mouthful of blood. Feeling it surge through my aching body, felt like crashing wave slamming into immense powerful boulders that were never going to break, no matter how hard you tried.

While I dealt with the outside with some help from Hawkeye, Natasha fired her gun at the ceiling to calm the irritating passenger's screams that probably made her ears bleed or was getting quite annoyed by them, but shooting the ceiling was not going to help them calm down. Stark still stood by Barton's side watching him take down the rest of the enemies with his special skill set. I'm so gonna' kill him.

"Who's driving?" Barton warily asked taking a glance at Natasha and the passengers then to stark who was nowhere near the steering wheel.

"Uh . . ." Stark blankly stuttered and rushed to take control of the wheel, again. He made it a little too late as the bus crashed into a steel rail then began to drive off course and into a thick covet of woods.

"TONY!" I hear everyone deathly yell from the inside. My head strongly hit the surface of the car I'm in while the two tried to kill me feeling some of the rigid movements from the bus. I flipped my body backwards to the back seat choking both men in agonizing pain as I hear them choke on their pathetic breath. One weakly tried to grab the gun he lost a couple seconds ago and kicked the gun out of his hand and I pulled tighter on the wire.

I felt the pull of the wire at my side wondering if everyone's all right on the inside of the chaotic bus. "EMBER!" I hear Barton yell as I climbed out the window where my body barely fit. I spit blood out of my mouth that I've kept there until I was almost shot the second time when I was out so I didn't have to taste such a metallic taste.

_THIS MISSION IS ROYALLY SHIT!_

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

All these gun shots that were fired were giving me a big headache and I'll even get a bigger one when I'm with Stark. As I quickly threw my bruised body on the hood, dodging bullets that are meant to kill us all. "CLINT!" I shouted a bit desperately. I carefully gained my balance on the hood with my arms stretched out feeling the strong winds hit my face and then I hear Stark shout.

"HEY, FLARE! YOU'RE ALIVE!" I glared at him and in return I get a smug smirk that I would love to burn off his face. I'm definitely going to kill him.

"WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER, SO HELP ME GOD I WILL DESTROY YOU!" I shouted furiously glaring daggers at him. The passengers looked at the two of us thinking we're insane while we argued in the middle of this hell. The answer: our job makes us insane by repeating missions over and over again.

"EYES ON THE ROAD!" They angrily yelled together. I stared at the cars in front of me with burning eyes coming from the forceful winds as we speed down the hill faster.

"EVERYONE HOLD ONTO SOMETHING!" Stark spun the wheel taking a sharp turn as the bus lightly made contact with a boulder placed in the middle of the woods. "Oh, shit." He dryly muttered under his breath. He desperately stepped on the breaks several times and failed altogether. He started to panic and didn't know how to control it. He grew a bit scared. "THE BREAKS DON'T WORK!" He frantically shouted as Natasha pushed him aside while she tried to fix whatever he broke.

"YOU'RE A FREAKING GENUIS!" Natasha screamed at him with malice in her eyes. "HOW THE HELL DID YOU BREAK IT?" She turned her eyes back to the road then to the seemingly calm passengers who were just watching this ridiculous show. We're usually not like this. We're a little more capable of finishing this off with no problem.

Hopefully.

"I DON'T KNOW . . . IT JUST . . ." Stark responded too quickly much to Natasha aggravation which kept pilling up from every loss we've suffered and the way he was answering was not helping us one bit.

While their mess kept them busy for the mean time, Barton and I struggled to finish the rest of Cole Exton's men inside the pursuing cars. Barton stayed quiet and focused on the enemies that tried to kill us. He placed an explosive arrow in his bow and counted to ten before he fired his last remaining arrow while I calmly stood on the same car with the wire strongly pulling my side. I slowly breathe in and out and let my ability take control.

_This s shit ends tonight. . . _

I stand straight on the cold car as I channeled my flames to my blood stained hands. Things will never be the same, but the only thing is to remain you. I need a partner to get through these ridiculous missions and you know what, I really don't care about having a partner or not because right now it will never change what you've already done so for now I'll deal with it, I'll deal with them. Though I prefer to work alone they're there to bring back the dead back to life no matter shitty we encounter them.

"BARTON!" I screamed and turned my head as a grin displayed itself on my bruised face. "LET'S LIGHT EM' UP!" He smirked and I laughed darkly watching the terrified looks of Exton's men on their pathetic faces. I let a wave of my destructive flames towards their worthless life while Barton released his last exploding arrow to the road where the rubble of rough, strong boulders ascended in the air taking down some of the cars.

I watch with intent malicious eyes at every piece of junk fly into tiny pieces of debris. The light malevolent laughs escaping my mouth caused me to go slightly insane. I don't know what's wrong with me right now, but this feeling is so unbelievably familiar.

Barton burned a hole a in my back as I kept laughing like a psychopath. It felt _right_ at the moment. The second I felt the wire move at an odd angle, Barton jerked the wire, forcefully. One man was barely alive-barely breathing. He chucked a package covered in wires at the window behind the Hawk and landed in the center gathering the wary passenger's attention.

_**BOOM**_!

The last car that belonged to Exton blasted into tiny pieces of sharp metallic fragments which flew violently in the smoking air slicing my arms and legs. Out of the corner of my hurting eyes from the strong blinding light, Stark quickly cut the wire, shoved Barton out of the way to deal with the ticking time bomb, and he caught me in his arms. He stumbled a couple of steps backwards and tried to balance me. He warily stared at my body and I gave him a dangerous glare. Stark didn't care what I did to him, it didn't matter how hard I tried either and the next thing I knew he quickly removed a piece of metal from my arm. He gave that same sorry look and it killed me each time.

I HATE IT WHEN HE DOES THAT!

"CLINT!" We hear Natasha call at the frozen assassin staring at the bomb as flashes from his past began flooding his mind. I knew that look all too well and so did she since he's her partner, but sometimes you can't always get what you want. He would have to face that problem alone.

". . . . Uh, who's driving?" I asked a bit wary since this situation gradually increased to a new level of shit. The passengers all pointed to Stark who has an innocent expression on his face while an irritated look crossed mine. NO FUCKING SURPRISE! I clenched my fist by my side and forced him to sit down and take the wheel, again to keep us all alive.

"SCREW THIS!" Barton picked up the bomb, agitated by his lack of motivation to defuse it. I rolled my eyes knowing this might have happened. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" He chucked the box out the window. The last second ticked away as Stark took a sharp turn near a lake. He rapidly let go of the wheel and we all quickly ducked to the floor.

"DID YOU REALLY JUST THROW A FREAKING BOMB OUT A WINDOW?" Natasha incredulously screamed, popping her head to the side as she glared at Barton who just gave a small sly grin. She was going to shoot one day.

"BRACE YOURSELVES!" Stark poked his head up a little to look out the window and noticed we we're rapidly descending down a freaking immense hill. I thought we had been done going down a hill. SO WHY ARE WE STILL LIKE THIS?

_**BOOM**_!

Another explosion went off in the next minute, splashing us in the water as several little fish flopped into the air wanting to swim back to their tiny fish homes. The passengers popped their heads up to see a bright light in the air then laughed at the hopeless fish. Thirty seconds later, the bus finally crashed into the murky water and those people popped their heads up, again and watched our scene play out.

The three of us stood in the water and dryly stared at Stark who frantically waved his arms around in the lake yelling, "GUYS, HELP! I'M DROWNING!" He promptly fell on his back kicking and screaming for useless help. The rest of us just stood there thinking the same thing: IDIOT GENUIS.

"Tony, its three feet high."Barton said in a dry tone with a blank look on his face, sighing under his breath. Yeah, I know the feeling and I have to live with him.

He lightly laughed, embarrassed by his stupid actions. It was only him. He just aggravated me even more and the rest of us. Stark finally rose to his feet and felt something crawl around his back pocket. "Huh, shrimp." He dryly proclaimed looking at the creature making it-self comfortable. "HEY, THERE'S SHRIMP IN MY BACK POCKET!" He started yelling, again pacing back and forth in the water.

"Huh, and this is my babysitter. . ." I muttered, annoyed under my breath. This was a nightmare, but only in reality.

I really am going to kill him.


	19. Chapter 19

Ch.19 CARE

_Ten hours later_

The four of us made it back to the hotel soaking wet smelling of ashes, gun powder, and disgusting lake water I'd like to get rid of as soon as possible, but that's going to have to wait for just a little bit since I'm so close to ripping Stark apart, limb by limb if he doesn't answer of my questions. The manger at the counter gave us _a, what the hell happened to you_ look. We took the elevator riding in silence. I glared at the back of Tony's head mentally drawing target boards seeing him run around in little circles as I watched him escape from raging flames. URGH! WHY THE HELL IS IT ALWAYS HIM? WHY NOT SOMEONE ELSE FOR A FREAKING CHANGE? I want to wipe his stupid smirks every time he was right about something or the fact that I can challenge him on his level or just that I can kick his ass any time I, but sometimes it's like he wants me too. I don't know why, all I know it's that it's quite bothersome, especially when he doesn't try.

The silence settling here was not helping us at all because we're too caught up in things we can't explain even about the assignment, hell I'm even pissed at Coulson because he wanted us to get this done, he wanted us to get the drive and you know what, I'm think we're gonna' take a look inside of that drive to find out whatever they're keeping from us. It'd probably be better that . . . maybe. Sometimes you can't always do what you're told. Rules were always meant for breaking. Why do you think they exist? But still, the silence wasn't helping. It was just making things much worse by letting our minds wander to the darker thought wanting nothing to harm our partners because they don't know when to actually do what they're told. It's all we know: tragic and miserable. It was sick, like we didn't know what else to do.

I know it's fucked up.

I don't need to be told.

I really hate SHIELD most times.

Natasha deathly glared at her partner with an intense gaze focused in her emerald eyes as she looked at the back of his skull and I knew she wanted to shoot bullets in the back of his head wanting to put some sense into the man she puts her life into or maybe a little more, but she had more important things on her mind about his hesitant state with the bomb that could have killed them all. She knew she would have to deal with that later, at least when we get out of the elevator. She knew something went on his head and we both knew what it was. I can't help him, only she can. It was like he was lingering on the edge when it all happened. Whatever it really was death was holding him right on that moment. It wouldn't let go, but he did.

He kinda' saved us.

He probably thinks so.

The dark auras emitting from the two of us suffocated the air Stark and Barton breathe because they all know too well they'll get something from us in a moment. It was just waiting in the back far corners of our minds. Their shallow breaths they let out made them uncomfortable about everything that happened in this small box playing its horrible elevator music. It was actually quite annoying. Barton started to slowly hum to the horrible tunes, like he didn't have anything better to do that made my ears bleed-it made me question him as an assassin and an SHIELD agent. I rolled my eyes at his usual antiques. He really was just like Stark. Well, at least they're not related. The auras that were emitted from us slowly started fading away as Barton continued to sway and remain calm to this. I still want strangle _his_ neck.

I think I'm going insane.

_**Ding**_.

The elevator doors finally slid opened as we each went our separate ways in the halls waiting to be scolded by either one of us for doing reckless actions and the fact Stark has kept secrets about my past from me. HE IS SO DAMN FRUSTRATING! GOD SO HELP ME IF I LAY A HAND HIM EVEN FOR A SECOND PULL ME BACK 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK I CAN! My blood started boiling when I began thinking of the reasons why SHEILD put him with me. Why not Barton? Banner? Romanoff? Maybe even Steve? Why him of all people?

AAARRGGHHHHH!

I SERIOUSLY EFFING HATE THIS!

This is when my patience is being tested the most because the idiotic playboy is keeping, hiding secrets from me when he knows damn well I need those answers to get my memories- ASSHOLE-while I just want to bash his genius skull with a brick and knock some sense into him. I just want my God damn fucking answers and look where it got me. It's always been easier to do things alone, but why am I still with these people when I prefer to be alone? Why haven't I left those two, two years ago? All of this is so maddening, frustrating because I don't know what the fuck to do anymore. Lately, I've felt like could be doing something with all of them, but now I think I really will prefer to work alone, like I've always done. So why the hell am I still here?

I just want to soak myself in nice warm damn bath with a bottle of wine and cry while I deal with all of this shit going on. Now I wonder if there was something I could have done to prevent something like this to ever happen, like I never met Tony Stark. I don't understand why he does or why he wants to help because I don't even understand myself at the moment. Here I was with them, thinking I could actually trust the man and LOOK WHERE THE HELL IT GOT ME! My head feels likes it going to burst open from all this. I can't take it anymore.

The second we walked back into the guest room then shutting the doors with a slam, I violently grabbed Stark by the collar of his shirt and pushed his back up against the wall screaming questions at his relaxed expression. He completely already pissed me off way beyond the edge. "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? HOW LONG HAVE YOU'VE KNOWN?" I screamed, pushing him harder against the wall as viciously glared into his brown eyes that I'm so close to gouging out. It was going to rain, but I forced myself not to let them slide no matter how much agony they cause me. ". . . . WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING SAY SOMETHING?" I kept screaming, almost letting the water stream down my face. That clam look in his eyes didn't help at all since now I felt like everything about me is now becoming a damn lie. It's like I don't belong here. GOD! To have someone like him watch over me is the biggest mistake SHILED has ever made, especially Coulson.

If I get my hands on that man I swear I will make myself his worst living nightmare of all time, no matter what he's going to say. I know he knows I will do exactly that. Maybe much worse if he doesn't tell me what else he knows and you know what, it feel like it's all dream, like everything is so unseeingly out of control.

I hate myself sometimes.

I HATE COULSON MORE!

AND I FUCKING HATE SHIELD EVEN MORE!

THIS IS SO FUCKING SHITTY!

I still held onto his collar, tightly, slowly as I glared in his eyes, still holding that soft look. I released my hands, putting one to my face and started laughing in a hysterically, dangerous, sadistic manor. Stark just stared at me with a look of pure pity now from the evil laugh that escaped my mouth. The man has no clue just how fucked up my life is. Now it's worse. He wanted to say something, but kept his mouth shut because there's nothing for him to say, except having a stunned expression displayed over in this poor-genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist's face.

". . . Hey." Stark called me out to me in a worried tone. He moved away from the wall I had pinned to for certain reasons. He stumbled a bit backwards from the murderous gleam entering my eyes. He was getting scared, again and I just wanted to keep laughing, like there was nothing left for me.

"You're a billionaire-playboy forced by SHIELD to watch me, like some fucking lost puppy." I dangerously growled stopping halfway out the door. "Don't bother me or I'll burn your body in that suit of yours." I seethed through tightly clenched teeth. I turned my head half way over my shoulder letting him see the malicious glare piercing his terrified soul.

_**SLAM**_!

"SHIT!" I heard him yell in a terrified tone as I stalked off into the hallway in the darkest of my nights, again. Maybe this time-hopefully-I won't get caught by some moronic man who thinks he created me. I AM NOT A DAMN DOG! YOU GUYS CAN KISS MY ASS!

My entire world is black and white because there's no room to make many choices. To fix up my past that doesn't want to remember itself, I need to have someone that can get those back, but I also need to know how he got them and the fact that I need to cool off. It has to be possible no matter how long it's been since they've been gone. I just want to know the truth. Now it's all a shadow, everything turned to grey. But if there's a reason that I can't get them back then I know that all I'll have to do is just live and make something out of it.

Maybe, if only I can.

Whatever Stark does now is his own problems. They have nothing to do with me. All I want is a little bit of peace to get me through the night where I can actually focus on something that's good for me. I can't have that. Sometimes, there are things that happen for a reason whether it's good or bad, I have to keep going and knowing what's behind those closed doors. I need to get back on my feet without having some guy see me break. I won't allow him to. I will absolutely not let him see like this. He never will and I hope to keep it that way.

I roughly shove my hands in my pockets, walking under the bright moon and shinning stars in the midst of the night, a reflection of the world we live in. I keep a steady pace filled with more than just hate that had power over me, once. That familiar sensation overfilled me throughout my entire body and it made me feel stronger and weaker than before. It made me want to set something ablaze to have that power to hold. I don't want to possess something like that, again, especially when it made me like that. I don't think I can handle something like.

I just can't.

Flashes of earlier from the mission decided to plague my mind with the unwanted situations running around in my head while having been thrown out of a moving vehicle by Tony fucking Stark with ten of Cole Exton's men on our ass and here I am, walking under the dark sky, slowly falling apart: skin to bone, ash to ashes and dust to dust. It breaks me apart, shatters every part of my existence as I watch the sky turn a disgusting grey. I'm still alone facing my fears alive in the dark that consumes me. I can feel most of the things we've done change, everything is changing. We all have purpose in life and mine is to find my memories.

That's all.

And once I do get them back I'll find a way to get away from SHIELD.

"That annoying jackass of an egotistical-playboy. . ." I muttered, irritated under my breath watching the air come out into the cold. "The next time you throw me out of a fucking moving bus I'll burn your body and that suit of yours to ashes then watch your precious tower fall." I kept the incoherent violent thoughts, aloud letting out the frustration hoping there's someone that's just as fucked up as me.

_**CLICK**_.

"If it isn't the sound I hate the most it's a gun being pointed at the back of my fucking head." I turned around facing the person I want to slightly take out the most right now to let go of all the pain and frustration I've felt for so long. Then I felt the cool metal make contact with my forehead. "Cole Exton." It felt like poison sank into my throat. Just saying his name disgusts me. "What the hell do you want?" A look of wanting flashed through his stone, cold eyes. I violently glared him in the eyes thinking things couldn't much shittier than they are now.

Right?

Wrong.

FUCK!

"I want what belongs to me." He steadily said in cautious tone then clicked off the safety on his weapon. I tiredly sighed, aloud at every possible outcome I could have myself in and escape. Why is all of this happening to me?

WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?

GIVE ME ONE DAMN EFFING BREAK, PLEASE!

I lightly laughed, not worrying about the gun pointed in my face because I know he really won't pull the trigger. "I don't belong to anyone." The declaration that passed through my voice strikes him hard. He lightly chuckled in a dark tone which was a bit soothing if you understood me and how I act. "You don't even remember. Such a shame, you're still such a foolish little weakling, Ember Cruor." Exton spoke in malice that made my entire body flame in rage and it also froze me slightly in place. A sickening smirk appeared on his face while I just wanted to be alone to find some freaking peace. "I know you get that feeling power of hatred surging in you. Isn't that right, Ember?" Exton steadily said in a wicked tone remaining calm.

SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL DOES IT FUCKING TAKE TO GET A FREAKING BREAK?

"Don't say my name as if you own me." I proclaimed in biting vicious tone. A light chuckled escaped this man's mouth and I continued to glare him till death. This night can't get much worse.

After all that's happened, I can see my life passing by. It felt like a living a real nightmare, but it's placed in reality, a cage that keeps me locked me up inside to hide the things that I don't want to face or have or things that I can't come to terms with. This is why I like to be by myself. I have to get out because I need to feel free for once and not to have someone control me.

Now I wonder if I was really meant in this world, no mattered how fucked everything is, no matter what kind of hell I went and go through. I wonder if they're using _it_. Are they? What's really going on? Do they really care? What about _him_? All these questions popping up in my mind now during a time like this was giving me an immense headache.

"Does your team even know you're gone? Do they really care about you?" Exton stepped closer pressing the gun harder to my forehead. Another heartless smirk was shown while having the blood lust to kill me. This guy was way too in over his head if he wanted to kill me. His eyes held something inhumane and that made me want to rip his eyes out of his sockets then maybe I might be able to sleep a little better. "What about that billionaire, Tony Stark?" I clenched my teeth holding back the urge to fight this guy.

I need answers.

He has them.

The light from the moon reflected on his skin and it was then I noticed how bruised his face was with dry blood still clinging on the side of his check and the bloody look in his eyes. I laughed hysterically with that gun aimed at my head. It didn't bother me. It just pissed me off even more when I realized who did it to this sadistic-moronic-idiot. "Tony Stark did that to you?" I pointed towards his bloody-bruised face in disbelief. I needed to play this off so I don't look suspicious.

"It's a small price to pay." He held the gun tighter around his grip. "It doesn't matter anymore. Your friends will die when this over."

I don't give a damn.

"I don't have any friends." My eyes went cold, heartless because I'm better off with them, at least most of them, probably all of the time.

But, I just don't care at this moment.

What happens happened and I still won't care.

Maybe just a little.

"And Tony Stark will vanish from your rigid life. That man has more than powers, money and he has someone I want, but that stupid billionaire shouldn't be able to have what belongs to me." Cole Exton seethed through tightly clenched teeth. I saw a look of pure hatred run through his for a few seconds. I shut my fist, tightly by my side holding a firm ground.

Why am I acting this way when I don't even want him around?

"Don't talk about Stark like you own him, especially in front of me." All my anger, pain, and frustration I felt rose higher than the heavens of the world, soaring through me. I slowly unclenched my fist and let the flares make a flame around my hands.

Do you really care?

Why the hell am I defending you?


	20. Chapter 20

Ch.20 HELP

When I slammed the door shut to our room and took a few steps ahead, I hear Stark quickly mutter incoherent words under his breath as I stalk off in the dark night of the hallway. I just needed to get away, to breathe, and to escape all the hell I've gone through. I just want to escape. I hear the door prop open and I turn my head over my shoulder to see him in a frantic state run over to their room to ask for help, probably. I seriously hate him and to think I was actually beginning to like him. I hate everything and it's an annoying piece of shit to deal with, knowing that my walls are seeming to come down. I just need something to grasp something so I don't fall, but for now, I just need to get out and breathe a little fresh air.

I took another few steps in the hall then stopped in the middle of the dark hallway, where the lights seem to quickly flicker under my presence and then I see Stark, again run into their room without permission. That man seriously wants to lose his fucking head by a pair of assassins, especially Natasha since those two don't really get along well. It was just like him to do something that stupid. I hear him yell, "I NEED YOUR HELP WITH ONE OF THE MOST STUBBORN-AGGRAVATED-FIRECRACKERS OF ALL TIME!" I rolled my eyes in annoyance and then furrowed my brows when that comment left his mouth, thinking how stupid he must sound with the sudden outburst while Barton and Romanoff gave him a confused look.

I still want to kill that little fucker.

"I'm with one." Barton simply said, a sly smirk growing across his face and then hears Natasha growl, dangerously beside him. She was two seconds away from pulling out her gun and putting a bullet in him, just what I like to do Tony fucking Stark.

Damn.

"Shut it, Barton or I'll take you apart with my knives and reassemble you just to do it, again." Natasha violently slammed a knife down in the middle of the small table as Stark incredulously stared at her with a fuming look in her emerald eyes. He slightly took a step back, wanting to still keep his head intact. He blinked once hoping her madness would go away and it did.

"Why the hell did I even ask for your help?" Stark muttered, irritated and ran a hand on his face clearly annoyed at his choices and then he finally received their attention which were rare looks of discomfort displayed on his worried frame.

Could these people get any more cryptic?

Now they were beginning to be frustrating.

I seriously fucking hate this.

"Where's Cruor?" Barton warily asked taking a step forward, realizing I wasn't near them or him. Trackers are so fucking cool to use, but in this case I'm just listening, like I always do.

I still don't even know if I can trust them.

Hell, I can't even trust Stark and he only makes me want to rip him apart or burn him, probably. I am so gonna' set his ass on fire.

"Now you noticed." He said in disbelief inching a bit closer to the pair of assassins. "What the hell did you think I came here for?" Stark threw his arms up in the air in an incredulous way, wondering why he's actually doing this.

Yeah, why the hell are you doing this, Stark?

I HATE WHEN YOU EFFING GET LIKE THIS!

DAMN IT!

"Bother the shit out of us." Barton simply stated popping a piece of gum, calmly into his mouth and shrugging his shoulders like there wasn't any real problem. Barton can't get anymore sarcastic than he already is.

FUCK IT ALL!

AT LEAST THIS FUCKING POINT!

"NO!" Stark shouted, frustrated. He lost his temper, quick, grabbed the archer by his collar and roughly pinned his back to the wall seeing a violent glare in his brown eyes while Natasha watched the scene play out in front of her and staying silent as a bit of shock sprung in her body. She didn't know he was capable of doing something like that.

She was a bit impressed.

And she kinda' of liked this side of him.

OH, PLEASE!

"YOU TWO ARE THE LEAST OF MY WORRIES!" Stark violently seethed through tightly closed teeth, clenching Barton's collar much tighter, his fists turning white.

"The great Tony Stark is worried about someone." Natasha said with a playful, sadistic tone. She took a step forward to them. Stark turned his head half way over his shoulder giving a malicious glare at Romanoff, his glare saying, shut-the-fuck-up-Natasha.

"Both of you shut up." Barton interrupted in an irritated tone from this small argument that was becoming a ruthless. His voice held a sea of furious rage. He grabbed Stark's hand and pulled them away from his collar. "We've been with her for two years and you've only been with her for almost three weeks. What did you do to have her explode the way she did on you?" He remained calm when asking him the questions when he wanted to strangle the shit out of the billionaire with his bare hands and shot an arrow through his head, make him get surgery and just to make Stark listen to him. And that makes two of us. Get in line, Clint Barton. "What did you do?" Barton asked, again, annoyed that stark didn't respond the first time.

Now I was gonna' hear more shit Stark has been keeping from me for the past few weeks. God, I hate you so fucking much.

YOU ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS!

YOU KNOW?

YOU LIKE TO SCREW WITH EVERYONE'S MINDS DON'T YOU?

GOD, SO HELP ME!

" . . . Before the last three assignments, I hacked into SHIELD just to get a little more information on her background, not a file Fury gave me." Stark says slowly bowing his head in defeat, filling him in his shame, especially about me when he's not the one who should be sorry. "A couple of weeks past, now we're here –Exton's one of the reasons why part of her memory is gone." Stark spoke as if he wanted to do more than just harm him, his voice growing to a higher sign of malevolence.

"She went to another room when you had Exton, she must have run into a document that held more information on her past." Romanoff quickly proclaimed, holding a slight tone of worry. Well, that was a first. Great, I really am dealing with a bunch of shit these people keep hiding from me.

I AM NOT SOME DAMN FUCKING CHILD WHO BREAKS DOWN SO EASILY SO DON'T FUCKING KEEP THOSE SECRETS ABOUT ME!

"Look, it wasn't my intention that this happened . . . I . . . she's a major pain in my ass . . . I'm just asking for a little bit of help." Stark slowly pleaded, losing all of his determination in one single moment. He might actually care instead of his usual ego, except if I wanted to somehow work him I'd have to get past my thoughts . . . I just don't know.

His plead caught the two off guard and it pained them slightly to see him such a reckless mess. They sighed together which got his attention to their piercing gaze as Barton began to explain, "Ember is an independent person, Tony. She doesn't let anyone in . . ." He shut his eyes to rid of the memories of the assignments we've done in the past since he's hated how use to finish them. "Ember usually walks around to ease her emotions until she's content with all of them hidden underneath a wall of avoidance." Barton finished with a sad smile on his face trying to act as if there wasn't anything to worry when there was. "You won't find her unless she wants to be found."

"Well, that narrow it downs." He muttered, sarcastically under his breath walking to the door. He stopped halfway out when he called out to him.

"What, you don't want any help from us?" Barton asked in a fake said tone which made the playboy grin.

"You and Red will get me killed." He dryly said and walked out the door, his determination come back.

"You'll get killed either way." They said in unison as he closed the door behind him and began to search for one of the hardest person he's met. "Possibly." He mumbled. Now all Tony Stark has to do is search for me in all of London.

Just how long will it take, Tony?

And why the hell am I asking for you?

Not long after I left, Exton had pointed his gun towards my forehead and thought it might be a good weapon to diffuse. He's dead wrong and the moment he spoke of Stark like he owned him, irritated me for reasons I can't explain. I tightly clenched my fist at my side and let my ability take control over me. The sensation flowing through me wanted to burn away all the things in my path. It felt amazing having it course through because it felt like something I haven't before and you know what, this kind of hatred felt a bit good since I can't seem to control what I like, but I now I could burn down whatever the hell stands in way because it was that good. I felt as though nothing could stop me, but the thing is I don't know if I would ever use this type or if I somehow did something more with it. I don't think I could actually deal with something like. Didn't I say something along the lines of there's really no sense in letting your emotions get in the way? Well, tell you what, sometimes it's okay because sometimes you just can't hold them back.

They have to go somewhere.

A malicious chuckle escaped my mouth as I kept feeling it run through me even stronger. Exton warily stares at me, laced with a bit of confusion while he tries to grasp the situation at hand. Oh, it feels good to be in control of him if he can't seem to figure this out. He glares at me with a passion of hatred and a desire of blood lust to kill me in sight. If he wanted to die I'd be more than thrilled to give him that wish.

"What's so damn funny?" He asked, aggravated, gripping the handle tighter as he made his knuckles turn white to the bone. I wanted to laugh more, but I found myself toying with the man's head to where he was quite confused at this, at me.

"I'll kill you." I declared, a passion of violence filling my voice, something that will have him trembling to his knees while he pleads for me to save his worthless life, but then I remembered I was told to kill him.

I will.

"You, kill me?" Cole Exton says incredulously, laughing hysterically. I don't know what he was laughing about whether it was my attempt at a deadly threat or his stupidity.

I stayed quiet as I gripped his neck with a light forceful crush letting my flames slowly began to sear around him hearing a whimpering cry Exton, the man who was supposed to be dead a long time ago, but SHIELD never made a move, only keeping eyes on him. "You're worthless." I growled through tightly clenched teeth, crushing his neck tighter while he struggled to get free. He was still crying about the flames. I just wanted to laugh, sadistically.

I watch as his flesh begins to burn a little bit faster seeing spots of red appear on his neck. He tried to laugh to keep things a little calmer, but coughed up blood as he said, "You're one of the best MODOK's we've ever had, Ember Cruor." Exton speaks, amazed at what he's done, his very _creation_ destroying him.

_**SLAM**_!

Cole Exton quickly moved his hand and secured a firm lock around my neck and the force he somehow had made me retract my hand and trace the lock around me noticing a set of glowing numbers counting down. Then I heard a voice yell from afar, the one person I do not want to see.

Tony stark.

FUCK THIS!


	21. Chapter 21

Ch.21 EXPLODE

One phrase repeated in my mind, like some mantra because he's the one able to do these kinds of things, but I need his help and cannot believe that, that playboy-billionaire came alone, let alone me in a situation like this, except at this moment I need freaking Barton. I need Barton. I NEED CLINT BARTON! AHHH, WHAT THE HELL HAVE I'VE DONE NOW? WHY IS IT THAT I'M THE ONE WHO SEEMS TO GET MORE PISSED THAN ANYONE AND THEN GET BOMBED BY A FREAKING LUNATIC?

FUCK!

EVERYTHING ALWAYS GOES TO SHIT!

"FLARE!" I hear Stark yell from across the street. Exton took one quick look at me then to the idiot running towards us probably without a plan. THAT FUCKING IDIOT! He stared at me, again lightly gripped his neck feeling the singed skin and then lands a strong kick to my cheek. I spit out mouth full of blood feeling the small pain on my cheek and smile and remain there with a sickening feeling sifting out.

"I'll see you soon." Exton slowly said in a dark tone and then he walked off with a sadistic smirk on his face. I am going to beat the living shit out of that guy once this is all over and I'll Coulson's head.

THIS IS FUCKING ANNOYING!

"EMBER!" Stark ran faster as he kept shouting my name and once he was near me I turned to with a vicious glare, clenching my fists at my sides. Of all the people who had to come and get me it just to be Tony Stark.

This can't get anymore shittier.

I really hate this.

"Get me Barton." I demanded, frustrated. Stark didn't respond. His silence only made me wonder what it was going on inside that little genius head of his until I saw the horrified gleam in his brown eyes staring down incredulously at the glowing numbers around my neck. I gave him a small sheepish smile.

Oh, what the hell am I doing?

I have a damn bomb strapped around me.

"COME ON, FLARE!" He quickly pulled me to his side and then his sarcasm etched out when he said, "You're enough as a bomb already with your abilities." I rolled my eyes. I'm still angry at him, but I have to deal with that later because I need this fucking thing off me.

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT!" I shouted, annoyed in his ear. He chuckled softly probably amused by the shit I'm in. Does this guy ever take things seriously? It'd be a miracle if he ever did something like that.

"Sorry." A silence filled the space around us, like we didn't know what the hell to say because we're still pissed at each other. I carefully stare at Stark with a dubious look at his sudden choice of just one word. I was still annoyed and threw his back to a wall we came across, violently grabbing the collar of his shirt.

"YOU CHOOSE TO APOLOGIZE NOW WHILE I HAVE A BOMBED STRAPPED TO MY THROAT?" I incredulously shouted at him. He still had a calm look displayed on his face. Where is this all coming from anyway? He's usually never like this around me and it's kinda' creepy. "URGH! WE'LL TALK LATER!" He smiled, again as several cars blocked all of our exits with several guns being pointed to our heads.

"Now would be a good time to get the hell out of here." Stark muttered, dryly under his breath. He gave me another odd look, one that was beginning to remember something we did a little while ago, but after everything we've been through everything always goes to shit. "Sparks, remember what happened on the bus?" Stark warily asked in a steady tone keeping his eyes on our targets as I gave him an odd glance. What the hell was he thinking now? That quizzical gleam flashing in my eyes made him smirk and it made me want to burn it off his face. "Ready?" The smirk still stayed as he grabbed my arm, tightly while all the guns were now pointed towards my freaking head while they slowly inched closer to us.

COME ONE! HE'S THE ONE TRYING TO THROW ME, AGAIN!

DON'T POINT THE GUNS AT ME YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!

"Let her go." One of the armed men said, still moving closer. Stark was going to get us both killed in this situation, not that it wasn't his fault in the first place, but I guess could some of the blame since I sort of walked out on him with a pissed off aura attaching around me.

"How much time?" Stark warily asked in a whisper, slowly letting go of arm which I'm sort of grateful for because I really didn't want to get thrown, again, especially by him.

WHERE THE HELL IS BARTON AND ROMANOFF?

"Forty-five minutes and counting." I dryly said turning my gaze towards his, his grin remaining. You have no idea how much that little shit eating grin he always seems to shows me bothers the crap out of me.

"Fine." Stark evenly said turning away from me as he faced the armed men with a dangerous expression displayed over his faces. I felt like he wanted to tear every one apart from their guns or whatever they were coming from. Something about was a little off ever since I came to live with this guy which, to be honest hasn't been that bad and kinda' like the feeling his gives off.

I think.

"We'll, will do it in twenty." He proclaimed, determination rising in every part of him. It was a new side of him that really haven't seen, in fact a side I never saw until this moment and you know, it felt a bit refreshing to have someone like this.

When I thought he was done throwing me around, I was completely wrong and then I felt a firm grip quickly wrap around my forearm as he pushed me in front of one of the armed men, so I kept up with his ridiculous acts that can potentially get us killed then I swiftly kicked the man's gun out of his and, spun on the back of my heal kicking him in the chest as Stark quickly grabbed my hand, jerking me to run with him. Before we could get any further, another guy stepped right in front, Stark letting go for just a moment as he slammed his foot in the gun and ducked out of the way as the guy got a look of death when he saw me appear.

I was left to deal with the rest of these guys, their guns still pointed on every part of my body which meant they didn't care if I got a bullet, except my head because they need me alive while Stark went to go find a suitable car. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIS? HE DIDN'T BRING HIS? One of Exton's men ran forward, dropping the gun he had which was a big mistake on his part if he thought he could face me head on. Sometime I really like this job because I can beat the shit out of people who I really don't care for unless they some type of information about my memories, then I leave them alive, but just barely, except these people don't know shit about me or what I need to get back, if I ever get them back. The guy that ran forward swiftly slipped out a knife from his back belt slashing it around my chest as quickly took several steps back, evading the movements. He moved a step back as went forward to knock him out, but it was a feint and he slashed me at my chest. Now he just pissed me off more than Tony Stark.

Before I could make my move, there were several guns going off. I groaned, annoyed, aloud quickly searching for a cover so I didn't get hit by anymore bullets. This was so damn annoying too. "STARK!" I yelled, covering my head as I turned a corner down the street hiding near the corner of a building.

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

When I thought the shootings were over, I popped out my head a little to see what else they were planning, but a man was at my side which startled me. It was one of Exton's men who I wrapped my hands around his neck snapping it, hearing the loud noise of bones twist. Every violent part that I keep around me is like a cage and now it's all being released because I can't stand to be in these insane situations. You really don't know what you're doing, until you're put in the field. When I threw his body to the side, I finally felt the pain in my chest and my side knowing I had been shot there. My hand immediately went to my side seeing the blood cover my entire hand then I felt legs go limp and thought my knees were going to smack the ground until I landed in the arms of the playboy, Tony Stark.

"Cruor." Stark desperately called out letting the worry in his show as he put me in the passenger seat and took his place slamming his foot down on the gas pedal as the car sped down the road. I didn't say anything. I just remained silent for a moment to gather up my thoughts about this entire fucked up mission and the emotions running through my head.

The price: everything.

The cost: losing what I almost had.

There was a terrified glow entering his brown eyes as he looked at my weakened state so I showed him a smirk to tell him that I was sort of okay, for now, but it wasn't helping much because, the truth is that I feel like hell and the fact that I'm in no position in be doing this anymore or at least at the moment. All the pain that was soaring in my chest and my side was beginning to make see little black spots in my vision from all the blood I'm losing. God, this can't get anymore shittier.

"SAY SOMETHING DAMN IT!" Stark frantically yelled, the worry growing more in his voice and the fact he was letting me hear it which told me he cares too much for me, but it was enough to know that I finally won't deny it anymore, that I'll think I'll take his help.

Like I should have done in the first place, way before I was told by Barton.

"EMBER!" Stark cried, finally saying my real name I was given by my parents, hopefully actually some _real_ parents, except the fact that I don't know them or anything about them. Every time he got worried like when I look like utter shit was kinda of annoying, but it was nice for a change to have someone care for you.

Every part of me was on fire and it felt like I was going to fall apart, especially during this, but I need to find Barton because I need this freaking bomb off my neck and he's the only who can do it. " . . . Hey, Tony, remind me to kick your ass later." I saw his muscles relax as he let out light chuckle. Something about this felt a bit familiar to me, but working for an organization like SHIELD is like watching every city burn to ashes.

This man I sit next to may not be so bad to actually have in my life and I think I'll find a way to trust this guy because right now I kinda' of owe him since everything about me is usually shitty and the fact that I work with SHIELD, a place I know Stark doesn't like very well. Well, neither do I. I probably made that clear already, but l let myself feel something for once, I let myself actually believe this man can save from all the hell I've been through and probably will still go through while continuing to be with SHIELD, but can Stark actually find a way to help me change? I doubt it. The only thing he'll probably be able to change is my trust for him, if I even have any left.

If I said everything was all right with me or this chaotic problem I'd be lying because I'm fucking stuck in an agency that never leaves me the hell alone that hold secrets from, I have Tony stark wanting to push his fucking presence into my life while trying to help and he still holds secrets from me when he knows I need to know them and that I have two fucking assassins on my as every day and sometimes it's a little more than I can handle. Before I was ever with anyone I didn't give a damn thing about what happened-still don't- and everything that goes on will never end. You kinda' just learn to live with. It's a pain in the ass, though, but sometimes, in the end, it all turns out all right. Hell, if I knew what I was talking about, well I don't.

At least sometimes.

I think.

All this agonizing pain surging through my body felt like someone was stabbing over and over then ripping me apart and sewing me back together just to do it all over, again, but after knowing what I just went through in the last few minutes I couldn't move my body the way I wanted to. I was bit motionless because of all the blood I'm losing and if I kept it up like this I wouldn't survive, so Stark better pick up the fucking speed or else I'll haunt his damn life for eternity.

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

_**BANG**_!

"SHIT!" Stark yelled slipping down in the driver's seat when the bullets smashed into the windshield. "DO THESE PEOPLE EVER STOP?" He incredulous shouted slamming his foot on the gas pedal, faster while Exton's men were still behind us. "SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

"JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND DRIVE!" I shouted in pain trying to move my aching body to find a way to get out of this situation. Something caught my eyes in the head mirror and saw a rocket launched sitting in the back of this damn car.

Well, at least Stark picked out a good car.

"What are you doing?" Stark watched me go to the back seat thinking, knowing I shouldn't be moving myself in the condition that I'm in. "What the hell is that?" He asked in disbelief seeing the weapon appear in the mirror. "A fucking rocket launcher?" I rolled my eyes in annoyance knowing he seems to act like this, no matter where we go or do.

"It's exactly what it looks like." I shouted, feeling the pain still covering every part me, except it was becoming a bit stronger, but I knew I have force myself to keep myself awake to get the fuck out of this mess.

_**BOOM**_!

Stark immediately slammed his feet on the breaks hearing the sound of the launcher go off and then he turned his eyes to the head mirror to see all the SUV's crash into each other and the colorful flames erupt into the air while Stark gave me a heated look then threw his head back onto the head rest as I threw body back into the passenger seat. All this pain running around in me was not fun, it felt like I was being dragged into a wicked race with a bomb strapped to neck. These missions really can't get much shittier than they are now. Stark waited a moment before he drove off to let all these problems sink into him and me since I'm literally about to fucking die if he doesn't get this damn bomb off and if we don't find Barton.

Then he started to drive towards the explosion seeing as the flames somewhat died down as another car drove by and got a nice look who was in the car. "Was that Barton . . ." I slowly start to say with bit confused. Where the hell where they when we needed them earlier.

"And Natasha . . ." Stark finished in the same confused tone as me as we saw them drive past us giving us the same look we just had.

_**Ring**_.

_**Ring**_.

"What . . ." Stark whispered, aloud hearing the sound of a phone go off in the car, looking around for the damn thing, but he couldn't so he just kept his eyes on the road with an irritated look on his face. I glared at him.

"Is that a phone?" I incredulously asked in a dark tone, the glare becoming dangerous. "Are you an idiot?" I was already over my edge, way beyond it because nothing ever goes right with me or these situations. "YOU'RE A FUCKING GENIUS! YOU BRING A DAMN PHONE INTO THIS SHIT KNOWING IT CAN BE TRACKED!" I grabbed the front of his collar, suddenly feeling some energy flow back into me since I am dealing with a genius billionaire who I can't believe just did something as stupid this.

I'm gonna' kick his ass.

_**Ring**_.

"OH, NOW YOU'RE REALLY YELLING!" He turned his violent gaze towards me, one that I haven't seen in a while and it kind of scares me that he's capable of something like that. "EXCUSE ME FOR BEING DAMN WORRIED ABOUT AN UNSTABLE FIRECRACKER!" He yelled jerking my hands away from his collar so he can focus back on the road.

"PICK UP THE FUCKING THING!" I couldn't stand to be in this mess anymore, but it would make matters worse if we just let ring because, to be honest, I think it would ring until someone would pick it up.

"WHAT?" Stark screamed, annoyed into the phone, glaring into the shattered windshield trying to erase all the memories he's had for this mission. I can't blame him for that because we all do that, we just a little peace.

Sometimes you just can't have that.

Sometimes you just have to deal with.

"TONY, WHY THE HELL WAS THERE AN EXPLOSION?" I could hear Barton violently yell then presses a button on the other line. He had put us on speaker phone. "WHERE IS CRUOR?" I knew the moment he answered the phone Barton wanted to crush us from doing all this shit knowing we shouldn't have done this in the mission while it was still active.

"Besides, the bruising, a bleeding slash across her chest and a bullet wound to her side she's all right." Stark sarcastically proclaimed. Barton was going to kill Stark before I even got the chance, well you know what, he can get in line. It'll be me who'll get him.

_**Creak. **_

"Hello?" Stark warily said into the phone Barton had somewhat crushed in his hand from the sarcasm then he suddenly slammed his feet on the breaks when we saw Barton and Natasha in the car in front of us with a pissed off look on their faces Stark shut the phone.

"WE LEAVE IN FOUR HOURS AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE TWO DONE IN THIS AMOUNT OF TIME!" Barton furiously shouted while Natasha remained silent, letting her anger roam around her as she glared daggers into Stark's eyes and here I thought she wanted to kill me, but there was something wrong about Stark.

"Did you break the phone?" He asked without a care in the world as Barton opened the passenger door on my side pulling me into his arms for a moment because I could barely stand on my feet and getting a look at my current state. I'm surprised still had my vision.

Natasha had been muttering violent threats to Stark who sort of saved my life, but the fact still remains that he hid information about my parents from me. I looked at the number glowing on the bomb: 00:00:25

"Damn." Barton quietly said under his breath when he got a better look at my condition when he flashed a flash light on me. I leaned my back against the car door feeling myself fade away from this mess, but I couldn't just black out now.

"Just get the bomb off my neck." I violently growled my body slightly swaying side to side then Natasha tossed him her knife she slipped out from her sleeve. I seemed to be going a bit unconscious because I have no idea what the hell is going on anymore.

Sometimes when I forced myself to look back into my past of my old assignments with Barton and Romanoff, I wonder why they kept me alive, even if they have their reasons for doing it, but after what happened to their base, well you can pretty much guess from there. It bothered me, considerably because I started to smile, laugh be different around each one of those people. It just felt like some real peace was actually in my life. Though Stark, Barton and Romanoff give me a hard time to find a way to trust them or _him_, at the least, I don't mind being around them. Then I fell unconscious.


	22. Chapter 22

Ch.22 Back at The Mansion

_Seven and half hours later_,

Barton was with Romanoff at SHIELD to give Coulson our report on fucked up mission, but it couldn't have been better, I think, but what more do you want when you work for an organization like this? While Stark and I found ourselves in the same position as the last time we came back to his mansion looking like shit and the fact that Stark didn't tell Pepper about our a new mission. It was just like him, now she's standing there, again with a pissed off look, but the problem was that she's not my problems. Her problem is her boss, Tony Stark. Also seven half and hours ago, I got some rest, despite going unconscious and getting medical attention when extraction got us. All I know is at this moment I am going to kill Stark for keeping _this_ from me and Barton for sticking in fucking medical attention.

This shit with them ends tonight.

Stark kept staring at Pepper who clutched her phone, tightly in her hand as threw her clipboard to the side as she glared as violently glared at him. Third times the charm to get caught like this, right?

I doubt it.

It'll keep going on.

It won't stop.

"I'll be in the workshop." I slowly said making way down the stairs, messing around with my watch. Sometimes I like being an agent because of all the amazing things you get in an agency like SHIELD. God, I am definitely going to kill Barton for bringing me here and maybe thank him.

And sometimes spying on others was a little bit weird, right now I don't give two shits about it because if Stark is going to say something to Pepper about my past I'm going to beat the shit out of him, until he understands what the hell I went through to just get that damn information. If you ask me, I don't think he knows how to tell people who need something in their life, like this fucked up problem.

He's a lucky bastard that I kinda' like him.

". . . Uh, hey, Pepper." Stark warily said, avoiding Pepper's vicious gaze trying to put his eyes somewhere else in his mansion, but there was nothing that went to them, so he started playing with his watch, having a bit of trouble taking the damn thing off. This idiot is concentrating. I sigh, tiredly under my breath.

Well, maybe I could get some more rest.

I kinda' need it.

Sometimes.

And sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never met Barton, if I never Coulson, if I never got involved with an insane organization like SHIELD or if I never had this ability of mine and part and a part of me wonder what the hell that would be like if I never went through all this shit in my entire fucking life, but sometimes I think I like it here, yeah right. I must be kidding myself. This entire thing is full of shit and I believe it. From my position here at SHIELD and with Stark, Barton and Romanoff, for some reason they give me hard time because of what I normally do on our assignments, but they also seem to look out for me which I don't, but it's kinda' . . . nice. I just mostly wonder what it would be like when I get memories back from the people who stole them, but first I need Stark to get ass down here in his workshop when he's done getting his ass yelled at by Pepper.

Twice in one day.

"Haven't we've been in a situation like this before?" Stark steadily said trying to stay calm so he doesn't have to feel all that bad about not telling her where he was, but he's probably freaking out on the inside. That was his own damn fault. For someone who call himself a genius you'd think he would actually tell Pepper where he went.

Pepper continued to shoot daggers at him then sighed aloud since, I'm assuming that he's back to her with his ridiculous character he likes to put on. "Tony, stop." She demanded in a worried tone, taking a few steps closer to Stark. All this dramatic shit is giving me a headache.

Just kiss her and move the fuck on.

It's that simple.

"Please, stop. I can't take it anymore." She softy said, Stark slightly taken aback from the tone in her voice. It shut him up immediately as he looked into her eyes, but the looks he gives this woman meant he would die for her. Virginia "Pepper" Potts is his world. It's not hard to notice that.

"I can't." He shrugged his shoulders. What the hell is this idiot doing? "It's my job and it's your job to worry." If he was trying to get her to smile or laugh or whatever the hell was going on with his mind it was sort of working because she sadly smiled at him. "I understand that, believe me Pepper." He stepped closer, closing the gap between them.

"Tony, all this assignments that SHIELD has you on . . . I can't . . . I don't know . . . how to handle it." I knew the moment she said all of that, Stark stared at her in confusion because either he did somewhat know what she was trying to say or he didn't know and he was just that dense to see Pepper cares so much about him.

He placed two firm hands on the sides of her arms with a sad grin on his face. He was going to make it up to her with all this shit going around? What the hell are you fucking thinking, Stark? "I can't stop what I do, but Pepper I have to . . . for now. I promise once this is all over I'll be here with you all the time." Stark genuinely said and gave her nice smile to show her some things were going to be okay then the next I saw what that Stark smashed their mouth together in a passionate kiss probably pouring out every single emotion he has for her.

It was about damn time that he finally got the nerve to kiss her.

SERIOUSLY!

" . . . I have a hot head to deal with now. Later . . . I don't know." I leaned my side on the wall near the entrance of the workshop waiting for Stark to get ass his down here so I can beat the living hell out of him.

"I was beginning to lose my patience." I growled as Stark stopped on the last step for a moment staring at me. He was always testing me and sometimes I think he liked doing that so he can see the way I react.

Sick bastard.

"Oh, right, you're still here." He sarcastically said, probably thinking I forgot about his little stunt he pulled in London a few hours ago. He better think twice before he made a decision like that otherwise he knew what was coming to him. I slowly walked up to him for just a quick second since he liked test me then violently struck his face.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL!" He groaned, painfully rubbing the side of his cheek and stared at me like I was some insane person who likes hitting billionaire-playboys. Like I said before I don't give two shits about this anymore, for the moment.

"That's for being a fucking lying bastard." I proclaimed in dark tone then began to type in the code to the workshop. He was such a pain in the ass, but I felt a little better now that he'll have a bruise somewhere near his eye. He asked me how I knew the code and I just said well, I can be smart as you.

Fuck you.

At the moment.

"The drive," Stark warily says looking me in the eye with a determined look on his face which was kind of disturbing. "That's what you want, right?" He asked in annoyed tone, finally infuriated that he's had enough of me to deal with. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I want answers." I demanded through clenched teeth then all of sudden his little infuriated character disappeared and was replaced by his usual demeanor. What the hell is wrong with this guy?

"Perfect." Stark clapped his together, a smirk falling his on his face as I warily handed him the drive. I rolled my eyes.

I'm still pissed at him, even if he is helping in a way.

"When SHIELD forced you onto me, did you see anything on my file?" I wanted to trail the question, but SHIELD has a way of putting in false information to keep some things about others safe from people like Stark who never does what he's fucking told.

"I read your file. They always have the basics, nothing more and it's annoying. There's nothing fun." Stark complained putting the drive in the computer. I scoffed. This was exactly like Stark, though I've only been with him for a few months now.

"Give me the names of my parents." I steadily demanded pulling up a chair so I could rest just a bit before we get called on another assignment that can kill potentially kill us, but sometimes I hope they'll give me a break.

Like that'll ever happen.

His calm, gentle brown eyes bore into my unsteady ones as if he was trying to say sorry for keeping all of this from you when you know you need it and the fact he can't say a simple sorry, not that it matters because it's too late for apologies, especially coming from him. "Hale and Eva Cruor." I guess it was a good thing I was in a chair because I didn't think I could stand since I just got the names of my parents which I'm so grateful for. Now that I know, some of my worries washed away with the information he's telling me and he has no idea how much this means to me.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, unable to breath, actually so I stood leaning my back against the wall because I didn't trust my legs enough to handle my weight. Everything was beginning to burn my body, even with this new found information and the bruises and slashes all around me. I better not pass out from all this, especially in front of him again. Anything is better than passing out in front of him, anything. I wouldn't care what it would be.

"They were . . . SHIELD agents." He warily said looking at my quiet character. I could feel something prick at the corner of my eyes. I would not let it spill, not right now, not when he's telling me this. I had to hold on. "From what I read and heard of they were the best of SHIELD. They were killed in action a moth after you were born." Stark cautiously continued.

I never felt so alive because I actually have parents who-I have no idea why in the hell they decided to become SHIELD agents-it left me with a happy sensation filling my entire body, but I also wanted to crush that very feeling because that same feeling can get you killed out in the field, but I also want to experience more than what I'm feeling, well since I have billionaire at my side who never stops bothering the shit out me, so I guess I really wouldn't mind for once. Maybe I'll just start letting them in, slowly that way can I still push them out if they do something real stupid, like Stark who kept certain information from for a few months.

I laughed, finally letting out all the pain, suffering whatever the hell is still in me, I just laughed and you know what, it actually felt kinda' good. Stark watched me as I slid my back down the cool surface of the wall, like I was someone in need of help which in a way kind of do, but I won't admit it to him so he continue to stare at me as he warily moved to my side, sitting next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. Then I realized Stark has this sort of comfortable aura around him that affects me and I liked that-for a reason I don't know-while I was sort of here at my own will, but Barton and Coulson were the ones mostly behind this act.

"It's all right to cry." Stark steadily said pulling me closer to him, if I wasn't feeling like this in this moment I would have pushed him away. I didn't. I just kept the comfort. Maybe it was time for me to get the help Stark always talks about, especially Barton, but right now I'm half pissed at Stark and half happy.

"They make you weak." I muttered under breath as I put my head in between my knees. He is so persistent, I guess that's one of the reasons I kinda' like being with Stark, though he'll never I'm saying these nice things about him and if he does somehow find out it'll be the last time he'll walk this earth.

"It'll only make you weak if you think you are weak." He softly said as a cold shiver ran down my back which I'm pretty sure he felt because he pulled me just a bit closer. I wanted to smack his head against the wall, but I couldn't muster up the energy to do it so I just stayed still letting everything about this process in my head.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds before we said anything and I think Stark knows I trust him he's just waiting for me to say it, but I won't, not after he kept this from me. I can only hold it for so long before I actually say it. On the inside I was always fighting, even the outside, mostly the inside because I like to keep myself away from others, after a long while of doing exactly that I finally had two assassins enter my fucking chaotic life and made it more complicated than I wanted it to become now I'm with a fucking billionaire who follows me around like some damn lost puppy. Then I felt something warm hit the side of my check and looked up to see were both letting the water spill.

"It's raining." I slowly said closing my eyes, letting the dark take over for the next few minutes. Stark stayed quiet for another moment before he said anything. Sometimes I think he's a little more screwed up than me.

"Yeah . . . it's raining." He steadily said, letting his own tears fall and it made me clench my fists. Someone like him shouldn't be doing that, especially when they have everything they want, but it was different. It was for something else.


	23. Chapter 23

Ch.23 Wake Up

Two and half hours past when Stark and I headed into the workshop, argued for a few seconds then let our walls fall beneath us to get a better view on each other. It was a small price to pay since this guy can help me get my memories back, but now I'm starting to wonder if I ever really want them back because I'm going back and forth between if I get them I'll know what the hell happened to me or what if I hate them, but it really doesn't matter. I'm here and got more information on my parents with Stark than I ever did with them and now we can kinda' have this small bridge of trust, but I still hate the damn fact that this fucking playboy hid all of this from me and I don't even know for how long. The damn bastard better be glad I kinda' like him, despite whatever the hell goes on with us. We just have to move along. There's no sense in staying in the past when you know you won't get anywhere.

You would just be deceiving yourself.

Forgetting the past and the present are two different things, for instance for the past we just want to ignore the fact that were alive and don't have a reason why and then the other, well I don't know about the other reason. If you ask me, all this logic is annoying but in a way it makes sense, well that's if you understand. And for those two and half hours Stark and I sort of feel asleep at each other's side then Pepper woke us up saying someone was here for us. I know exactly who, but I had one phrase repeating itself in my mind when Stark told me about my parents and it was before we kind of passed out. Your parents were the best of SHIELD next to Barton and Romanoff.

I'm going to kill that damn Hawk.

I'm getting tired of this shit.

"The drive." They deadly declared, glaring at Stark with a malicious look in their eyes which this entire situation so much worse. I'm seriously going to kill Hawkeye.

"Damn, you're here." We said together. The tense atmosphere surrounding the workshop made Pepper shift in place while she watched from the side. We matched their cold glares.

This entire thing is so irritating because you never what the hell is going on or when two assassins randomly show up in the workshop demanding for the drive. I need more answers and they might just have them. What's the point in life if you don't take any chances? "Before he gives you the drive," I steadily said taking a small step forward. "Tell me if you know my parents." I warily asked as the silence filled the space and tightly clenched my fists at my side. They do know something.

From the corner of my eye I see Stark toss Barton the drive. Now I really am going to beat his ass for doing that. Pepper just kept watching, probably wanting a better understanding in this situation. I don't blame her. It is kind of hard to actually understand and half the time I don't know what hell is going on.

Everything is out of fucking order in this place.

"Do you really want to know, Ember?" Barton steadily said taking a step forward trying to pin me down with his hard glare. I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arm's over my chest.

"Answer the damn question, Clint." I viciously demanded through tightly clenched teeth trying to hold in much of my anger which wasn't exactly happening. I'm running on thin patience and it's about to break.

Now I really wished that, that day I saved SHIELD I should have burned down the damn entire organization to the ground.

"Before Natasha and I were in the field we had a few brief moments with them . . ." Barton warily said taking in my calm character. If he really thought I was calm he has another thing coming, but right now all these secrets that keeping leaping out of the shadows is a fucking madhouse. Then Barton expression changed when he saw me focused on something else.

"Is there anything wrong with your face?" I slowly asked tilting my head to the side as he furrowed his brows in confusion and rose one indicating for an explanation.

"No, _why_ . . .?" He said, even more confused. That was his problem.

_**BAM**_!

I had slammed my fist to the side of his cheek as he stumbled a few feet back holding the burning side of his cheek then gave me an incredulous look. I gave him a long look. "OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" He shouted in disbelief. Natasha scoffed from behind him. I think she's enjoying this.

"DON'T EVER LEAVE ME IN THE DARK OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL BURN YOUR SORRY ASS!" I clenched and unclenched my fist itching for another strike. There went my patience. While I continued to now clench and unclench my fist as I let a small spark emit letting it revolve around my hand and the feeling felt a bit familiar, but I don't know how or why or where it even comes from. I just know it feels familiar. "I know I may be just a child in your eyes, Clint, but you're dead wrong if you think I'll just sit on my ass and let this eat away at me because I swear to you that whatever guy did this to me, I'll kill him." I violently declared which sparked a grin across Romanoff's face.

"Clint." She called, still keeping the grin on her face. I think it's what I said that made her do that. It was kind of creepy.

Damn, this entire thing going on between us all is creepy.

Stark kept my parents for awhile while Barton and Romanoff knew them, I think, but I need more now that have got just a bit of this. It was killing me. I just need to know. My mind is like a loaded gun where I find several things start unravel around me and the people who probably going to be a constant in my life.

That's all Coulson's decisions and Fury.

"Yeah, I know." He slowly started to say and walked over to me again with a small smile on his face and if I wasn't pissed at him I thought it was kind of cute then lightly chuckled. He ruffled my hair while I lost most of the objectivity here in this moment. What the hell? "You really are a Cruor." He whispered in my ear. I froze in place trying to now process. They disappeared around the stair case.

I couldn't move body, no matter how hard I tried, stuck with no intention of getting more answers. "DAMN IT!" I shouted. My body collapsed as my back hit the wall again, still hearing the small whispers coming from the stairs. I hear him say the same line again and lightly chuckled to myself getting wary glances from Pepper and Tony.

Fuck.

I didn't pay attention to the soft whispers from the other two in the workshop as I bring myself into a certain new point in my life and now that I know the reasons that pretty much screwed over so many times, I had everything I need . . . for now. The way things were headed for now was going to be all right for me because if I don't get past this shit I'll never get anywhere in my life with my fucking missing memories – I just move on. It's a lot harder than it looks and I'm gonna' stop before I let myself fall further into a deeper, darker part of hell.

_Fuck_.

Before I barely began to open up for these people and they know I push them away – I still do and that won't change. Now I want to wash it all away and put the broken pieces back together before it's too late – you still gotta' move on, no matter how much pain goes on in your life, no matter how many times you push people because either way they'll end up in your damn life whether you like it or not. There's a new flame that has to be relit and I'm not afraid if what life throws at me because I finally have _**that**_ will burning inside me.

When I first "_moved_" into Stark's mansion, he persisted his way to enter my fucking life while I kept pushing them away when I only noticed he wanted to tell me that I'm still breathing, not fading into this world. We're only human and to make sense of what we've all become. Wherever this new determination came from made me feel more alive, a new purpose rising out of the ashes and they'll help me make sense of it all. The sudden urge to be surrounded by these people felt great with the trust they each show and recommend to me, no matter how difficult it is to accept the truth because they won't leave.

Brought to life . . .

Turn the tide . . .

_Fuck_.

"I think there was another reason Fury put me with her . . . Pepper, I need to help . . . I'm the only who can." No matter how soft or loud they speak my ears perked to them, my mind on something entirely different, but the words they chose make me feel more than alive – welcomed . . . like I belong with them.

I think.

Maybe.

Well, see . . .

"Tony," I called steadily as I rose to my feet letting my back slide against the cool wall giving me – for once – a warm smile knowing what it both meant. It was only meant for me whom I'm grateful for – he won't know that. "It's time to wake up." We said together in the same determined tone as our eyes met in the short distance.

His assistant, Pepper grew slightly shocked staring at us with an incredulous look because we were finally agreeing on something, despite most of the times I wanted to burn his entire body to the core. There isn't any more room for running. It's now or never to face one of the darkest fears crawling at the surface.

"Should I be aware of something?" Pepper asked Tony in a confused tone, furrowing her brows as she stared him in the eyes.

"No. Why?" He cautiously asked remembering about the flash drive and then he received another confused glance from Pepper.

She sighed under her breath. "Just don't die." Stark stared into her eyes that holds back the fears and the worry she's feeling inside. He wouldn't do that to her or anyone else.

I stared at the two standing a few feet away from them giving each other sympathetic looks – I know stark wouldn't do something like that to her – unless SHIELD somehow managed to fuck us over. It made me think it over and over: does he really care? Somehow it's the same sad thing we go through in life. It tore apart everything that I had built on the inside and now that it's completely broken you get more of a chance to regain control over what you lost, but it won't last forever.

Just know that.

Don't ever forget it.

You'll be fucked if you do.

He gave her a quizzical look that gave her a chance to read the emotions he let her see flash through him and smiled at her as that look was put now put behind him. "Die?" Stark repeated incredulously. "That's not on my agenda."

"Never knew a playboy would have an agenda." I scoffed lightly and headed towards the stairs.

"Never knew a hot-headed-American like you could be so kind to me." He sarcastically said, playfully letting that smile be plastered to his bearded face.

One day I am going to kick his ass.

"Don't get use to it."

"Don't plan on it." A smirk spread across my face as I ascended the stairs waiting for something new ahead of time.

It really is time to wake up.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the really long wait. I hope you guys like this one and I do hope it turned out okay. **

**And I am sorry that this chapter is short. **

**Leave a review to let me know what you think. **

**The next place Tony and Ember go to is Hawaii, but when they arrive there are some things that need to be covered first like Coulson should have done in the first place. Now things are going to get a little tense. **


	24. Chapter 24

Ch.24 HAWAII

**_One week later_**

I lay on the soft bed staring at the white ceiling above with the shinning light emitting from the sun light up the entire room with Tony by my side eating breakfast. What the hell was going with me? I may have forgiven from what he his from me, but if he does something like that again I'll kill him.

He can count on that.

Asshole.

Since day one, I've been stuck with an egotistical playboy-Tony Stark and then everything else pretty much just turned to shit. Whenever we got stuck on assignments or whenever we do something stupid that can cost us our then SHIELD is on our asses about it. But the few time I'm reminded of him saving my damn life, putting some of my shattered life back together and it bothered me and I kept pushing him away, no matter what the hell we went and go through. Those were the rare moments I'll ever get to see from him because whenever he left his comfort zone and helped me get back up on my damn feet when I still pushed him away and several others.

Damn persistent bastards.

"I'm going to go insane if SHIELD doesn't give us another mission." I said aloud, a dry tone entering my voice. We continued to blankly stare at the ceiling. Tony scoffed at my sudden choice of words.

"You're already insane." A light chuckle escaped his mouth. The small moment we now share is something I can bear for now. And for that reason… I don't know.

Shit.

URGH!

"You know, this is the nicest you've been to me." He added, a smile still beaming across his face.

"Shut up before I burn your breakfast that was rightfully mine." It was like a threat-a real shitty threat-butte soft calm tone I spoke in made him laugh.

"Rightfully?" He repeated incredulously. "I offered it to you. You didn't want it."

"That doesn't mean I didn't want any." I cried and immediately leaned down on my elbow with a bewildered look on my face.

Buzz.

Buzz.

Buzz.

"ABOUT FUCKING TIME!" I shouted in excitement she I heard Coulson speak on the other line of the phone.

"What the hell has Stark been feeding you?" He asked dryly. Though I know he doesn't really want an answer.

"You and Stark are going to head to Hawaii. Wipe out the memory of John Diaz. Your flight leaves in six hours."

Click.

FUCK YEAH!

MISSION!

TIME!

I turned my gaze towards Tony with a wicked gleam staining my eyes. The worried look in his made me want to laugh. He was like a damn puppy. "Flare, what did I do?" He suddenly asked me. His face was filled with horror and slight confusion.

What the hell?

Is he trying to ruin my good mood?

Bastard better not.

When I felt some actual price it was being in the field because inlet most of my anger that's weld up inside.

"Pack a suit. Our flight leaves in six hours." I calmly said, a sly grin falling in the corners of my lips.

"Excuse me?" He said in confusion with a hint of sarcasm.

I could use that too.

"Did I stutter?" I said in the same wen tone he did with that same amount of sarcasm. He stared at me quizzically.

Now what the hell was it?

"Why are you…happy?" Tony suddenly asked like an enigma stood in front of him. Though I may be dark-it only takes a spark to light it back up.

"I'll get to kill Exton myself." I declared. An evil gleam flashed through my eyes as a wicked smirk came to play on my face.

It was a death game Exton had started with us.

And I'm going to kill him.

I will not be stopped.

"No-it's not that. I think you're actually trying to get along with me." He slowly said as he wiggled his brows in a humored fashion.

BANG!

"I can still kick your ass." I threw a knife above his head claiming his death wish. He was asking for this since day one.

I'll make damn sure he gets it.

"Firecracker…" He dryly said.

"Playboy…"

* * *

Six and half hours later, the two of us are on a nice sized boat in the middle of the Pacific Ocean feeling the sadly breeze fall on our bodies in the blazing heat. Tony has a plate full of shrimp cocktail with a flashy grin begin to make its way on his face when he ate and kicked his legs up into a chair.

And this is my babysitter.

WHAT THE HELL BARTON?

"How many miles?"

"2,100…who's driving?" I suddenly asked in a wary tone remembering when he threw me out a fucking window of a fucking moving vehicle with several of Exton's men behind us.

WHO THE HE DOES THAT?

"Auto pilot." He immediately answered enjoying the shrimp. I sighed, tiredly at his actions that are really no more of a damn surprise.

Maybe.

I only hope.

"How did you ever get your license?" I muttered under my breath. I felt a frustrated stare on my back an turned around slightly to see Tony with a piece of shrimp cocktail in his mouth.

God.

"You should really try one of these. It shut me up for a bit. How about you?" The sarcastic tone he had changed and pissed me off. And what pisses me off even more is that he kept shoving l're shrimp into his mouth. I quickly whipped out an injection that's normally used if you lose a little too much blood. I took a dangerous step forward to the scared billionaire.

It can numb you.

I wonder…

"W-what is that?" He stuttered. I wickedly grinned.

"You're a real pain in the ass, you know? Maybe this will help you relax." I proclaimed taking another step forward to the cowering playboy.

Fine minutes later, the two us have stopped complaining and we were finally off that damn boat and now we walked into out hotel room where the sun beams onto every object shinning everything around us like a treasure of gold being discovered.

Stark walked over to the bed throwing a small bag onto it then took out a computer and began to play around with it and his slightly broken suit that he never fixed during our missions in Cuba and Colombia, but when that happened a small brush of trust started to form that I denied because I never chose to accept anyone's help.

"How exactly are we going to find his John Diaz?" I alarms slowly. He smiled.

He smiled way too much and needs to tone that down.

"He's currently in a mental institution." Stark calmly replied shutting his computer off. He smiled at me again-seriously what the hell is wrong with this guy-for a short moment probably holding some devious plan that always goes to shit she he decides what the hell they are. "We're going to take a small trip to institution."

I tightly clenched my fist to keep away my hated annoyance about staying away. "Go in yourself." I demanded, my voice laced with a bit of pleading.

"Wha do you have against a mental institution?" He said cautiously furrowing his brows.

"I was put in one. I burned the entire fucking place down." I steadily said getting a wary look from Tony who was still confused and wanted answers.

So do I.

Damn it.

"How did you get there?" Tony cautiously asked. I let a steel mask fall.

"I don't know. I woke up there one day when I was younger." I clenched my fists tighter, the firing rage Weldon inside me controlled me and I hate being that way.

Shit.

It's a war of will to get what you damn well need.

"Huh, well life's a bitch." Stark said and went back to his turned off computer. "Let it go and take it out on me." He proclaimed without looking into my steeled eyes. He seriously pisses me off so much. Fuck. He made my blood boil to where everything we do will always go to shit. And I want to fucking burn him until I hear him cry out in agony.

"You'll die."'I calmly answered slowly unclenching my fists.

"You want to kill me." A smile spread across his bearded face. I narrowed my eyes.

"Next time you ask me to do something I'll bring you alive in your damn suit." I growled through tightly clenched teeth, annoyed with this already and him. Why does he always have to do this? Fuck.

I think he just wanted to get something out of me.

HELL NO!

HE WILL NOT!

At least not yet.

"You're not alone, Ember." Tony softly said with a dad look shining in his brown eyes. I rolled mine.

"You talk too much." I muttered aloud taking his computer for a second to see if we could get something useful on this mission.

I doubt it.

"Funny, Pepper always says that." The edges of his mouth rose up when he spoke her name like it somehow kept him quiet. She kept him under control from time to time and I was a bit grateful.

A/N: Sorry this chapter wasn't long or even all of them, but there's only like 3 or 4 chapters left to this story. And I do have a sequel to this-just not focusing on that for the moment. I've also been busy so I really haven't had a chance to fully update. I hope you guys like this chapter and maybe all of them. I can only hope.

Now that Tony and I are on sort of good terms, despite what he had done to her, how do you think their partnership is going to last before one of them screws it up. And let's just see how ridiculous Tony's plan is gonna b. when they reach the institution.

* * *

**Leave a review to let me know if you guys liked this or it just sucks.**


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